[Lifeisbest]

I have a crush on one of my colleagues since four months ago... He is similar my age working two cubicals away from me... he is bit shy guy even among the team for some reason I found myself making excuses to talk to him about work I don't know what he think about me or if he interested or not... but I alwayes afraid to take step forward as I don't want to get hurt . I notice sometimes (which so rare) he come and start intiating conversation with me... we go out after work in the same group which different people of different departments. One of the ladies who go out with us mention before that she asks him if he have a girlfriend but he said no.

Sometimes I think this girl is interested about him even though she mention she has a boyfriend which comes to see her during the weekends from another country... anyway one time she slipped and told me that the guy I'm interested in ask her to ask me if I join them during the evening for a night out... since then I felt she tried to avoid me be there with them and stop calling me to join them to go out... any way back to the guy...

I WANT HIM... How , When, Why,. all these deails I can't answer now but he even start to show up in my dreams... and I really wish if he have the same feeling... but I don't want to be the intiative for that or pushing for something might not even exist... he doesn't text me or call me after work... but he is nice whenever we had the chance to talk...

Now I'm not sure about what is going on... I know the girl still chase him but I don't know what he feels or think...

[talaniman]

Only he knows how he feels but you can talk and find out without coming on to strong, because you do work with the guy, and work is not a place to be awkward about romance at.

Talk and make friends and see what happens. At least find out if he likes the other chick chasing him.

[Pizzaslice]

Just go for it. I know you maybe worried about working with him if things go wrong, but don't be. Your single, he's single. I have been with two girls form work and they both finished well (Im still mad about the last one, haha, she is now one of my best friends). The first one rejected me at first, but the next day she asked me out. Anyway before I start getting off topic, You only live once, don't let your fears stop you from being with someone who might make life better.

[Edy020]

There is a joke that goes, a man comes to a saint every Sunday and says, "I want to travel. Please make it possible." He does this for years. Finally one day the saint replies to him, "Please buy a ticket."
You should put it out there that you are interested in him. That way you can stop wondering and worrying about it. There are only two answers he can give, yes, or no. Wouldn't you rather know than go on suffering? Go for it!

[Lifeisbest]

I wish if it is just easy to go and ask him... it will be big embarresment if he say no.. The girl talk to me today she told me forget about him because she asks him if he should choose a girl from the office and he said no... I feel so frustrated as I already knows she is after him but I don't know how far she goes..

I want it to know how he feels without me being so obvious to him at least I will have a way back... I wish I'm smart like other ladies and get the man that they want for their lives...

[talaniman]

Instead of talking to her about him, talk to him about you. She has an interest in you saying nothing to him, and if you are afraid to take a risk, then you get no reward. If you take a risk, and get rejected, at least you know you tried, and can move on to something else, and know the truth.

If you know the truth, you can stop playing mind games with yourself, and stop allowing others to play mind games with YOU!!

[chuff]

You could almost play off the other girl. You could say to him, "the other girl seems to have a thing for you but I see your type as more....and vaguely describe yourself." Then you could see what his response to that is.

He may also know that dating in the work place doesn't usually lead to good things which is why he's steering clear of both of you.

[Lifeisbest]

Finally I got my courage to sms him and ask him if he want to go out before he fly for a business trip after three hours he reply that he is going to a place all the group planning to go there... I was hoping for sometime only me and him... now I'm totally confused should I go?

I wish I can read his mind

[amicon]

You can't read his mind.
He's made other arrangements it seems.
Would you normally go out with the rest of the group?

If so,go.

[Lifeisbest]

I'm so happy today, he told me the group is planning for another dinner tonight and if I can join... he even sms me when he arrive the restaurant and ask me if I need help to find my way to there...

We all were chatting and loughing... the other lady was there as well and she was acting weired like she give faces if I talk to him... and every while then give him a glance.. I couldn't tell if he look back at her because he was sitting beside me...

Anyway it was so general discuisson sometimes he told her stuff like when she choose the BBQ he say is classy...

Then she left early and we stayed with the other guys little longer
Then we go to the parking together with another colleague and he want it to take a look at my car and ask me about the crush I had like two months ago... we chat little longer beside my car while the other colleague was standing waiting for us... I was so happy when I was talking to him.. he smiles when he talk to me... he is going to travel in the early morning... yet I can't tell also how he feel back because all our chatting was general and nothing special about it...

But I'm so happy today :))

[chuff]

So did you ask him if you two would do anything when he got back?

[Lifeisbest]

I did actually I told him that we need to arrange something for him when he come back but he say he will be going for vacation after that trip and travel to another country...

[talaniman]

Then relax, and enjoy yourself until he gets back. No point in getting carried away until you see how it goes later.

Baby steps until you are on a lot more solid ground.

[Lifeisbest]

Dear All,

I'm really grateful for your feedback and support.. but I want it to update you between what happened with the guy... through the months he start to be more open to talk to me but as friends only. I came to figure out that nothing going on between him and the girl and she is interested only from her side...

Three weeks ago I found out that he quit, and leaving the country for another job. I was so sad and disappointed but I decided that I should express my feelings as I might need to let go since he is leaving... I didn't have the courage to tell him face to face so I write him email and told him what he means to me and how much I miss him whenever he is not around... the whole week there was no contact and I didn't know if he avoiding me or even read the email I send...

By end of the week our group wanted to throw him a farewell party... I go to enjoy the party as he ignore me the whole week and I was so angry... the longer I stayed in the party I get more depressed till finally we are alone in the sitting room at our mate house and I ask him if he read my email.. he say it had been a week he didn't check it then he start checking his email in the mobile... our friends start coming so I pulled the mobile from him and ask him to go to the back side of the house so we can talk... he open the email and read it and keep quiet for sometime... I ask him to have a seat... he start apologizing that he didn't read it before and he say that he is not good in relationships and had been long time since he was in one. He say is part of his weak points I ask him if he notice how I feel about him and his answer was negative... he was so sad when he was talking and I hold his hand and he hold it back and press it softly... it was very charming moment... he say that there is something from him saw it on me and we are similar somehow... friends start coming and we couldn't talk... but we promise to continue talking when I was on my way back home...


Next day I waited till he call but he didn't by the evening I called he didn't pick up... I start to feel sad again... day after he also didn't call but I sms him to meet and he say he have a meeting then he will call... he did call that night and when he wanted to talk about it I ask him if we can have coffee.. I didn't want it to discuss through the phone... and half an hour later he meet me at the beach and we were walking he didn't open the subject but we start talking about about anything except what we came for...

Finally I open the subject... he start apology again and he say that he was focusing more about himself and he mention same what he told me during the party... he say that he see me as a friend and wish if we can stay in touch... he say I'm the nicest person in the office and no one want to offend me... he say it is his mistake again and we continue the evening talking about other stuff.. our friends.. his previous work... etc

He was nice to me till last minute and he is leaving by next week... however I'm so sad that he is leaving at the same time I had very small hope that he might think about me but never happen sometimes I wonder what if I told him early would it make a difference or no...



Edited (sort of)/T

[talaniman]

Sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted it to, but you tried, and now its time to regroup, and turn your attentions in another direction. I don't think expressing yourself sooner would have made any difference, as it seems as he has other things on his mind, and probably wasn't going to change it.

Again, sorry. Close that chapter of your life and prepare to open another one.

[Lifeisbest]

Today he left... it was so hard to say goodbye.. even he promise to be intouch but I have doubts on that... he left taking my heart away with him... I couldn't even cry or tell him that I will miss him somuch... I didn't had the chance to hug him :(... he pass my desck and he use short words almost nothing all I did I take my key chain and give it to him.. he was asking me several times if I'm sure that I want him to keep it... and I was... I miss him already and it hurts more that I know he is leaving with no feelings for me... I wish I just wake up and it turns to be dreams all this feelings towards him... I wish if it is like a shirt I can pull it off me and go on...

[amicon]

Life is like this sometimes-he doesn't feel the same and you must accept it,get over it and move on.