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    lianadiaz's Avatar
    lianadiaz Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 3, 2011, 10:50 PM
    5 yrs married and stepkids ruining it
    Help I'm married to a man 5 yrs that is good tome I love him, but omg he has to live teens that are trying to ruin our marrige and it hurts me cause I've been so good to them son 14 daughter 16 I have a 11 year old daughter that cares for her stepfather and I to stay together and doesn't get along with his teens sometimes cause they curse too much what should I do .
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Apr 3, 2011, 10:51 PM

    Can you please give us some more background into how they are trying to ruin your marriage?
    lianadiaz's Avatar
    lianadiaz Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Apr 3, 2011, 11:12 PM
    Well his son is all fs in school doesn't want to do anything with his life is aslazy as they come and he's been talking back at his father.He lied in school saying that his father hit him and scfs came to the house how embarressing but they saw we lived good and decent and we talked it out to wear they said his son needs some kind of cousoling that he refuses to go too after all the drama he caused.he talks back at me and his dad to the point that we start argueing and then he laughs they should have done this crap in the beginning not 5 yrs later decide that you want me out.well teens have very bad hygeien to the point that I have gaged and family members,his daughter she really turned on me she ignores me talks about me to my daughter its really hurtfull cause I was really good to her she's in high school and she got mean andjust not a likable person period just eats sleeps and **** that's itd
    lianadiaz's Avatar
    lianadiaz Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Apr 3, 2011, 11:14 PM
    Comment on lianadiaz's post
    This is more details
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #5

    Apr 4, 2011, 12:38 PM

    From reading your posts in your thread on the Divorce Board (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/divorc...ns-563640.html), the only advice I can give you is counseling for the rest of the of the family even if the son won't go. Other than that, Judy's advice about getting out seems like like your best option.

    No where do you mention the children's mother(s), is she still in their lives? If she isn't, is that part of why they are rebelling? If she is, does she have any influence over them?

    Quite frankly, I think you and your daughter need to get out before your issues with his children end up hurting your own. Once out of the house and on your own, you can look at ways to fix the problems in the marriage AFTER he fixes the issues with his children. Being a father is more than just yelling at your children and expecting them to change or for other people to raise them for you.

    Work on your relationship with your daughter and yourself. Leave the three of them to figure out how to get out of the mess they have piled up around themselves.

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