[redribbon]

I am an intern at this office. I am there until May. My supervisor is ten years older then me which I really like. I started developing a crush on him in the fall. I was in his office with him going over a mid semester evaluation this fall and as I was sitting there his phone rang and I stayed and while he was on his phone my stomach growled. I thought he hadn't heard it but he reached behind him and handed me an apple. Then the next day he passed the office where I am assigned and as I glanced up he tossed me another apple. We went out sailing that day with four other men from the office. He asked me if I was cold and offered me his sweatshirt. He told me another time when we were sitting next to each other he could feel all the muscle in my arm. At some points my leg was pressed up against his and neither one of us was moving. It was a tight space. Another time we were sitting across from each other and taking turns steering. He reached over and clasped my knee and told me I was up next. Then the following week he mentioned some meetings he was having in my town and that he could let me know when and if I was around we could meet up. I told him I would be and just to call me. I found out later the office never has meetings in my town. It's totally out of the way.

Then later on I was in his car with him riding with him to get my office pass renewed and on the way back he had this woman on speaker phone. I thought it was his girlfriend the way they were talking. I started getting sad. Then he hung up with her and turned to me and was like, "That was my sister...."

After I returned to the office after the holidays he noticed a new haircut and mentioned to me and was like, "Your hair looks really good. I really like that style and cut on you. It looks so good on you." In this same conversation he said, "I am flexible. I want to do whatever works for you....dinner, drinks..." ------it just seems like we could have discussed work stuff at the office.

He has also complimented my clothes. He noticed a blue scarf I was wearing that I got in Spain. He was like, "Where is that scarf? (when I told him Spain) he was like, "Of course. I was looking at it and thinking that's either Spain or Portugal. "

Another time we were out to lunch with a bunch of other colleagues and they were asking me what books I was reading. When I answered I liked John Grisham I noticed he was listening. Then when he was asked he mentioned this other book he was reading but then made a point to say he liked John Grisham and had just read the same one I had read. Then he made a point to mention he wasn't slamming John Grisham but he found John Grisham fun but easy reading. It was like he didn't want to insult me.

Another time I had asked him to write me a recommendation letter and he asked me at one point if there was anything negative in my past that someone was going to find out about because he wanted to address it in his letter as something isolated that didn't affect my abilities. I've never had a recommender do that for me. He also showed me a copy of the recommendation letter and he didn't mention the thing.

His schedule is incredibly impossible. He has to travel so much. I decided to take the initiative and ask him out. I asked him to meet my friends and me for drinks. He was like, "Sure absolutely... just let me know when and where." but before I could he had to travel out of town for work.

Is he interested and should I try to ask him out again or wait until I'm done interning there? I just don't know what to think.

[adviceishere]

"That was my sister...."

Yes he is interested! He went out of his way to make sure you knew he was single! When he gets back tell him when and where like he said :)

[Wondergirl]

Wait until your internship is finished. He is your supervisor, so it would be ethically wrong for him to date you or spend private time with you. He could get into big trouble.

[talaniman]

FYI!!

Any new girl that's cute, smells good, and is available, is the interest of all single guys, so don't get so carried away by his nice flirting you lose perspective, objectivity, or fall for the ways of a mature attractive male. Especially one who you are crushing over, and work for.

Do what you want, but don't be a zip darned fool, and throw caution to the wind. You know nothing of his motives, history, or anything else, he is a stranger.

[talaniman]

redribbon does not find this helpful : This doesn't give any perspective that I hadn't considered and I found the tone of the responder to be very offensive. I am not this naïve young thing... I have had nice guys flirt with me innocently so it's not like I wouldn't recognize that... anyway

Any way what?? Make a proper post and express your thoughts because quite honestly, your post reminded me of a naïve young girl smitten with an older guy who was her boss, and just by the examples you gave, showed NO romantic interests at ALL. Don't know what the rest of the ladies saw, and not to offend, but to open your eyes and pay attention.

I couldn't care less about rattling your cage, just don't chase this stranger, or fall for any okeydoke, because many of us guys use that passive aggressive style to make the young ladies like us. Not saying that's him, he could be a perfectly fine fellow, but that first impression may not be what he is about, so control that crush until you have facts, and not just feelings.

This forum is full of people who didn't see any red flags until it was to late.

Its your heart, protect it!

[ScottGem]

Comments on this post
redribbon does not find this helpful : This doesn't give any perspective that I hadn't considered and I found the tone of the responder to be very offensive. I am not this naïve young thing... I have had nice guys flirt with me innocently so it's not like I wouldn't recognize that... anywa

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

When you signed up for this site you agreed to abide by the rules of this site. Therefore, you should have familiarized yourself with those rules. While you have a right to disagree with what someone posts, the use of a negative rating is reserved for posts that are factually incorrect or inaccurate. Not because you didn't like their tone.

And I didn't see anything in Tal's tone that warranted your response. It's difficult to tell tone in the one dimensional world of written communication.

[Wondergirl]

This thread is making me think of President Clinton and Monica. She's still "in love with" him at age 37, has never married.

[redribbon]

Well I guess it all makes sense now that I've thought about it some more. I don't plan on becoming a "Monica." but I can see now I was about to make a major fool of myself so I guess I was a little naïve about this. Some men really do just flirt I guess and I did read too much into those things... I guess the point is to finish this internship out and walk away.

And have as little interaction as possible since I'm so embarrassed now...

[talaniman]

Just keep strangers at a safe emotional distance and pay more attention to their words, and actions, more than your own intense feelings.

It's a hard thing to do for ALL of us, for sure.