Check out some similar questions!

Klaipeda · Apr 1, 2011, 06:11 AM

Hi,
I have been renting a room from my landlady for a year now. There are a 50- year old married couple , my daughter and landly-all living in the same house but different rooms.

(I like the house,it's clean and neat-we all clean people and is very tidy everywhere. The kitchen is huge and sunny; the tennants as well as landlady is OK, she is friendly, talkative and easy going. But I keep distance from her because I cannot feel her,- she seems to me a bit showing off, or else, I don't know what. ).

Anyway the main purpose is this: all is fine in the house as long as my landlady don't have her friends over at night suddenly when everyone is asleep.They shout loud, dancing, drinking etc ) landlady is 38 y.o but her friends are 10 year younger, so by the voices in the kitchen when they all there , one can guess that there is teenager's party going on.) we can hardly sleep that night, but it's still Ok because landlady does this kind of party once a month approximately. But my worst thing is, that when I go down to the kitchen after everyone is gone and my landlady is nowhere to be seen, I can see the mess everythwere in the kitchen, and most important, that my cutlery is touched, my kitchen cupboard inside is spilled with the coffee, and my kitchen towells are dirty like someone wiped the car tyres with them. ( every time she has friends , my stuff is being touched: either this or that0everytime is different. And she says, 'ohh I did'nt see that they did it').

I talked to her about it and she was quite surprised and angered that I mentioned that because in her opinion nothing really happened, she said 'sorry' and that was it. But I kindly insisted that she should stop to let her firneds be so bsent minded towards my stuff,
She became agitated why I am so fussy about that. She said we should be as one family, -waht if I took something what is yours,or etc. I said @please don't do it anymore as I like my things being tidy'. She clearly does not like my askeing that it and definitely is going to repeat that again ( I hope I am mistaken!) just to prove that she is 'the boss here'..

I like the house and location. Unless she has friends she is fine. What shall I do, please?

Thank you guys!

adviceishere · Apr 1, 2011, 06:17 AM

Your not being fussy! I would be driven crazy by people touching and ruining my personal belongings and as a landlady she is being very unresonable and she should know better! But I doubt she will change, its her house, you tried to speak with her and sort this and she clearly doesn't care... what do I think you should do? Move out!

Jake2008 · Apr 1, 2011, 07:13 AM

Because you share a house with other people, and rent only a room from her, it is her house. IF your cutlery is in your OWN cupboard, then I think you were right to specifically mention that her guests were in your cupboard and using your cutlery, tea towels, etc. The specific things of yours that were separate from the rest of the shared items in the kitchen.

But if your things are included with everybody elses' things in the kitchen, how would a guest know not to use that fork, or that towel. Perhaps you just don't like the idea of strangers in the house at all, which again, is something you should have, or now could, negotiate with her. Although, again, it is her house.

Because everything else is okay, except the once a month that she has her friends over, I think you've made your concerns very clear, and you did the right thing in speaking up. Maybe this will not happen again- I would wait and see.

If it does, the only thing you can do that I can see, is try to find another place to live that is better than where you are now.

excon · Apr 1, 2011, 07:22 AM

Hello K:

Advice was being nice... Jake got closer. I'm going to nail it.

You have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to complain about! Oh, you COULD complain, because things aren't PERFECT, but you'd be NUTS to do so.

excon

J_9 · Apr 1, 2011, 07:28 AM

How about moving your "stuff" to your room?

albear · Apr 1, 2011, 07:29 AM

Alternatively, you can just remove your cutlery and don't buy any more kitchen towels and just use hers, one big happy family where its her stuff being used without her permission :D

J_9 · Apr 1, 2011, 07:34 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

How about moving your "stuff" to your room?

Novel idea, ain't it? :rolleyes:

albear · Apr 1, 2011, 07:44 AM

Depends on the size of your room and how far away from the kitchen it is, imagine keeping all your plates and glasses and cutlery in your bedroom, then taking a set down stairs to the kitchen every time you wnted to make a meal,

excon · Apr 1, 2011, 07:49 AM

Originally Posted by albear

imagine keeping all your plates and glasses and cutlery in your bedroom, then taking a set down stairs to the kitchen every time you wnted to make a meal,

Hello a:

I can't imagine it. I also can't imagine a person complaining because somebody used her cutlery or sullied her dish towel, when EVERYTHING else about her living situation is PERFECT.

excon

Klaipeda · Apr 1, 2011, 07:54 AM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello K:

Advice was being nice... Jake got closer. I'm gonna nail it.

You have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to complain about!! Oh, you COULD complain, because things aren't PERFECT, but you'd be NUTS to do so.

excon

Why should I be expect less for the money I pay to her?
I pay her money for the room and do ir regularly, with no breaks. So I prefer 'fair share'.She should be respectfull landlady as I can also be disrespectfull tenant ,and not to pay her regularly once a weekas agreed. In this she will everyweek need to go to the bank and check whether I transferred money to her account.
I did actually paid her only 1 pound after that incident instead of the whole sum for that week,she notticed and mentioned that to me ( as I expected, so In turns, I spoke to her what concerns me)... So it sounds strange to me that I have to put up with people who disrespects me.

Klaipeda · Apr 1, 2011, 07:56 AM

Originally Posted by albear

alternatively, you can just remove your cutlery and dont buy any more kitchen towels and just use hers, one big happy family where its her stuff being used without her permission :D

Ha ha, I liked that one! This is the best:)

adviceishere · Apr 1, 2011, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by ;

I can also be disrespectfull tennant ,and not to pay her regularly once a weekas agreed

That was a contract you both made together, whether on paper or verbally. She did not make a contract with you to not have her friends over,

Klaipeda · Apr 1, 2011, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

How about moving your "stuff" to your room?

I thought about this too.

Klaipeda · Apr 1, 2011, 08:00 AM

Originally Posted by adviceishere

that was a contract you both made together, whether on paper or verbally. she did not make a contract with you to not have her friends over,

It is about not touching my stuff. Thanks.

Klaipeda · Apr 1, 2011, 08:05 AM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello a:

I can't imagine it. I also can't imagine a person complaining because somebody used her cutlery or sullied her dish towel, when EVERYTHING else about her living situation is PERFECT.

excon

Thanks.

excon · Apr 1, 2011, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

Why should I be expect less for the money I pay to her?
I pay her money for the room and do ir regularly, with no breaks. So I prefer 'fair share'.She should be respectfull

Hello again, K:

You misunderstand me... I don't disagree with you. Everybody SHOULD respect you and your things. And, in a perfect world, they WOULD. But, that ain't where I live, and you don't either. I don't like people touching my stuff any more than you do. That's why I DON'T have roommates.

You've described what I would call a PERFECT living situation for yourself, with this one small exception that, apparently, happens only once a month. I think you expect too much.

excon

J_9 · Apr 1, 2011, 08:09 AM

Originally Posted by Klaipeda

It is about not touching my stuff. Thanks.

The situation is easily fixed. If you don't want your "stuff" touched. Don't leave it where it can be "touched."

Klaipeda · Apr 1, 2011, 01:11 PM

Originally Posted by excon

Hello again, K:

You misunderstand me... I don't disagree with you. Everybody SHOULD respect you and your things. And, in a perfect world, they WOULD. But, that ain't where I live, and you don't either. I don't like people touching my stuff any more than you do. That's why I DON'T have roommates.

You've described what I would call a PERFECT living situation for yourself, with this one small exception that, apparently, happens only once a month. I think you expect too much.

excon

Sorry then,excon
OK, I'll wait and see if she stops. My friend suggested me that because she is simple cleaner with no higher education and I am doing better job than her, and have uni.degree,-she feels 'less',- so it is the reason to behave and ( she sometimes talks to me like she is a boss and to others she is more down to earth, but I don't really mind as when my friend explained the situation I understand the reason.
? So I it might be the reason for her behavior towards me too...

dontknownuthin · Apr 6, 2011, 02:06 PM

The lady owns the house, by your own description these people are drunk and rowdy - they aren't going to respect your things. I would avoid keeping anything special in the kitchen. You have reason to complain but I don't think it will do any good, so it would be better to accept people will be into stuff in the common areas of the house. Perhaps you could put a note on your cabinet with the land-lady's consent that says something like "Items in this cabinet belong to my tenant - please do not use" signed by the landlady.

Otherwise, just keep the nice stuff in your room as suggested - you shouldn't have to, but that's the vibe in your shared residence and since you aren't the owner, you aren't going to be able to change it.

martinizing2 · Apr 6, 2011, 02:45 PM

It seems to me that if this is a monthly happening
And your stuff is not damaged or missing , that
Is a small enough thing to let it pass with a reminder
That it is a an irritant.

I think it would be worth overlooking in order not to cause
More tension in the place you seem so happy to be.

Don't sweat the small stuff.
There will always be big one come along you can save your energy for them.