[Blondebarber]

Thank u I can sure try like hell I guess

[Blondebarber]

O my gosh he did it again today I don't know how to handle it I feel like I'm going to explode inside any second he just got a good blow job last night ***!! 'what should I say or do? Anything?

[emopunk7]

Will you stop it? Guys masturbate. That's what we do. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with you! And why do you expect things to be fixed so fast anyway? It can take a long time so please take it easy and keep working at it.

[talaniman]

"Glad you get your rocks off so much, why can't you help me get mine off"

Dialog opener, because maybe he thinks you should be doing as he does. Clear the air with some discussion, not anger, not accusing, just calm discussion.

[mystific]

Screw you I guess really wouldn't work here...

Have you tried helping when he masturbates? Joined in?

Takes two to party hard in my opinion.

[Blondebarber]

I don't have a choice to join in he gets home about 20 minutes before I do and the duties already foment then! I need some *** too some real *** from a real person!! What the he'll it's been a freaking month we use to everyday 2 3 or 4 times I want to f'd

[Blondebarber]

Thanks t man I will def give that a shot next

[Fr_Chuck]

Well honestly, if he is not including you and you are not getting any thing to take care of your needs, don't cook for him, don't do anything for him, and to be honest put a porn blocker on the computer to keep him from watching it.

[Blondebarber]

Computer blocker? No I'm just simply wanting him to look at it from my view point and say o I see I'm so sorry and not ever want to hurt me like that ever again but if that's what he chooses over me I'm to the poin screw it I tried

[talaniman]

A more understanding partner is an option.

[Blondebarber]

I've tried he can't speak to me about it so how could I understand and nor to mention I've been lied to about 10 times been promised to and everything else

[Wondergirl]

I've tried he can't speak to me about it

But the way you've approached him was doomed to failure.

I've been lied to about 10 times been promised to and everything else

Only because you pushed him into a corner and gave him no other choice.

[talaniman]

How are other areas of the relationship?

Ever called ahead and told him don't take a shower, you are coming home hot and ready, and you can both shower later?

[Blondebarber]

Of course, I still do even though I no it does no good, we talk via text and pic message through out the day (dirty) but nothing ever happens. As far as the relationship goes it use to b close toperfect minus a few jealousysituation coming from him just minor things once a BLUE moon that's about

It we were an awesome team and this has really put a strain in us.

[talaniman]

Back to my question, How are other areas of the relationship?

Been any drastic changes?

[Blondebarber]

Well yea we had a baby that's will b a year old in August his parents passed away a year ago as well so lifes not been the easiest on him so I try to cut him slack everywhere but this is one thing I've tries to over look for damn near a year and a half and I just can't do it anymore! We've just recently about a week ago got into it about it again and he said he's not going ti do it again not to worry but he's said this many many times before, part of me wants to give him an ultimatum and say u can do me or do yourself but I always give in to him and then a few days later he's back at his ol habits

[talaniman]

So added to all the changes, he has to make promises that he can't keep just to live in the same house as you. That's pretty inpatient, and unrealistic at this point, given he has been through a lot with an obsessive wife, new baby, and close personal lost.

Try this, let the dust settle, allow you both to heal properly, and take the opportunity to bond on another level beside the physical. Its no coincidence from what you have written that a lot of life changing events have happened the last year and a half, and for you to stake your personal, and relationship happiness on simply ONE thing, is to ignore many, more important things. Right now your needs for sex are outweighed by his own need to adjust to a different world, than it was before.

Keep making the sex the big issue and ignore a lot of other things going on, and his resentments, and yours, becomes a wedge between you. Back off, or neither of you will resolve the neglect that's going on. No way can you even say you guys are even caring friends right now, and that has to change. This is hardly about sex, but more about connection on a deeper level. The lack of sex is but a symptom of something else that needs to be addressed, and you better find it.

I see a complete lack of empathy for each other, because maybe you both are hurting. Until your minds (mental), and souls (spiritual), get on the same page, your bodies never will.

[Blondebarber]

That's just it I couldn't agree more except the point about us not being friends because we are best of friends the rest of the days that I don't come home to find a greasy towel, and this was an issue before the passing of his parents could pregnancy alone b enough to cause this sort if behavior? What sort of things could I be looking for that may be wrong in the relationship because honestly we are both clueless

[emopunk7]

This is hardly about sex, but more about connection on a deeper level. The lack of sex is but a symptom of something else that needs to be addressed, and you better find it. - T-Man... Pure Genius!!

[talaniman]

I think I can say with a lot of confidence to be patient, and thoughtful in your reactions to things, and chose your battles more carefully. Don't get pushed to anger and impulsive behavior from your own frustrations. It will make you more observant, and attentive, and give you a chance to understand, and keep your mind open, and receptive to facts from information. Then your partner will be open to you without fear of anger, retaliation, and you can build on the friendship, and make adjustments to adversity, through honest communications. They call it TRUST.

Impatience is your worst enemy, trying to get the results YOU want through confrontational means. That's the best way to shut down communications, and trust that I know of. Sometimes you just have to shut up, and go plant flowers when confronted with a greasy towel, and not let the shock of discovery, or disappointment turn you into an unyielding meanie.

Know when to back up, calm down, and collect yourself. Sometimes I don't get what I want from my wife, but have over the years learned to appreciate what she can give. That's better in the long run than blowing up and making bad situations much worse!