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jb4am · Mar 21, 2011, 04:18 AM

My girlfriend goes to university in Brighton which is only a couple of hours from me. We have been seeing each other for almost a year and it really has been the best time of my life.
Last week she told me how she got drunk kissed a guy but couldn't remember doing it. Her flat mates had to tell her in the morning. I was so hurt by this but I forgave her. She has 2 weeks left of university until she is home for a whole month and she assured me that she wouldn't be going out anymore and getting drunk which I obviously liked the sound of. A few days after telling me this she decided to text me and let me know that she was going to go ut with her friends for a night out on the town. I told her I wasn't OK with this and after a long talk on the phone she decided to not go out because I mean too much to her. Everything has been normal the last few days and then last night she texts me and says " we need to talk ". She then calls me and tells me that she loves me so much but we can't be together because we argue when she is at uni. For the record we've aregued about 5 times in the 6 months she's been going to uni.
Today when I asked her to call me she just said she needs space from me. I'm no quite sure what that's supposed to mean... as if a 2 hour train journey isn't far enough ? I feel lost and I have no idea what I can do. She's kissed me, cuddled me, we've cried in each others arms and said how much we love one another. What can I do ?

kaka67 · Mar 21, 2011, 04:23 AM

Give her what she wants... SPACE

To her that means don't call, don't text, don't do anything. Leave her alone.

She cheated on you and came up with a lame "i dont remember" excuse. Doesn't change the fact she did it.

Think yourself lucky. You dodged a bullet. You deserve so much better.

But unless you keep yourself busy and stay away from her you won't realise this.

amicon · Mar 21, 2011, 05:11 AM

'I need space'most often means 'I want to break up with you'-it's a cowardly way of bowing out of a relationship,leaving the backdoor open in case the space thing turns out to be not so cool after all.

It's sometimes also a way of trying to minimize the blow.

Give her all the space in the world,go do your own thing and go no contact with her-100%.

It hurts,all break-ups do,but you'll get over it by staying busy and go back to living your own life.

talaniman · Mar 21, 2011, 08:42 AM

Give her what she asks for. Do your own thing without her. That's what you do.

That means leave her completely alone.

jb4am · Mar 25, 2011, 04:44 AM

Thank you for the answers. I played it cool and finally got to speak to her properly after 4 days of trying non stop. She said " it's 100% over ". I told her I accept that and that I would love to be friends. After I got off the phone to her I changed the relationship status on Facebook to single and she went absolutely mad at me. " Why did you do that ?! ", " I can't believe you did that !". Then she started texting me and called me crying her eyes out saying that she misses me and can't wait to see me when she gets home on Thursday. I'm really not sure what to make of it all guys.

amicon · Mar 25, 2011, 04:57 AM

She said'it's 100% over',so you should go 100 % no contact with her-no texts,conversations,no FB.

She's a mess but she's not your mess anymore.

She can't both have her cake and eat it.

Ignore her.

talaniman · Mar 25, 2011, 05:26 AM

You make nothing of it because she thought you would still chase her, and be her emotional tampon, even though she dumped you, and said it was 100% over. Stick with NC, is all you have to do and don't be sucked back in by her.

adviceishere · Mar 25, 2011, 06:10 AM

Let her go man! Let her kick and scream all the way home, she's in a rage because your not crying and chasing after her and she can't believe that your not upset over precious her! Boo hoo! It's a laughable situation! Get on with your life... no contact!