[snow_princess]

I'm hoping you people can really help me out with this. My b/f and I have been dating for 1 1/2 yrs. During his sport season we manage to maintain a very long distance relationship. Problem is: within the last month I've cheated on him (3 times), while very intoxicated, and I mean VERY (although its no excuse whatso ever). Anywayz, I really want to tell him, but since I know we'll break up if I do that, I refuse to let him in on my secrets. However, I have come to terms with myself in knowing that I need to stop this. Its getting me nowhere fast, and I'm now just left with a really big brick on my chest, and feelings of worthlessness, incredible guilt, and a big ache in my heart.
Does this mean I don't love my b/f?
Every time I think about this I just cry and cry, and I don't know where to turn. Would writing my feelings down help? Perhaps burn it after (sounds kind of corny).. I'm honestly done with cheating, and now I just need help of how to get over my conscience.
Any advice will help at the point...
Thanks ~snow
p.s. do not even try to help out if you are just going to bash me and what I've done.. I know I've done wrong. Thanks

[Anon]

It looks to me as if you've already punished yourself by realizing the wrong you've done.  In my opinion, though, matters can't get any better by keeping the truth from your b/f. I think it'll help both you and your b/f by being honest and telling him what happened.  True, that puts you at risk of him breaking up with you, but if he really likes you, seeing as you have been dating for quite a while, he'll take the time to at least try to understand.  Keeping anything big from anyone is hard - he's going to eventually find out one way or another, be it now or a couple months from now.  And imagine how bad things would get if he found out you kept it from him.  I don't know what to tell you.  But I WILL say this - if you've done this before, is the relationshpi really going that well? If he was going to break up with you before, this may be a good reason for him to do it.. but it's your call.  If the relationship's been OK, then he should think about it.

Good luck!

Oh, and about writing your feelings down. YES! Yes yes yes. I highly recommend it. I used to keep a diary when I was in elementary school, but hadn't kept one since. Now, I write in it constantly, seeing as I'm constantly worry/thinking/overanalyzing my fears, conscience, etc. It's a great way to vent and get things out of your system. Try it!

[ashleighsosweet]

I agree with the other person who replied.
You definetely should tell your boyfriend what has been going on. It may be very hard, which I'm sure it will, but it will be so much better for both of you in the long run.
Tell him how you've been feeling and why you have done this. I know from first hand experience that lies only catch up to you and make it a hundred times worse than if you would have told the truth.
In my opinion, if you really care about this person, you will let him know how things really are and be completely honest with him. A good relationship is, after all, built on trust and honesty.
About writing down your feelings... do it! It helps so much. And instead of burning them, why don't you give it to your boyfriend when you sit down to have this talk about what has been going on. When you write things down, things come out much more clear than when you just straight out say it. It doesn't get all mixed up.
Good luck with this all and I honestely hope everything works out for the best with you.