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New Member
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Mar 19, 2011, 05:21 AM
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What's the point in trying to convince stubborn people of something you're sure of?
I guess I just don't really see the point as they just don't believe me when I say I know a whole lot about this topic. Maybe I'm not very convincing. But I just end up giving up and walking away, and just let them think they won because I just don't care enough to continue. What do most people do in a situation like this if the person isn't really willing to listen and consider your position? It's a bit of a blow to my ego to let them think they won especially if a lot of people are listening.
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BossMan
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Mar 19, 2011, 05:31 AM
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What's the point in trying to convince stubborn people of something you're sure of?
There's isn't one.
Agree to disagree and move on.
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Expert
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Mar 21, 2011, 10:52 AM
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Keep in mind that knowing a "whole lot" about a topic doesn't mean that people will agree with you. Consider politics, or religion, or economics - there are lot of people who are incredibly knowledgeable in these areas who can never agree on anything. It doesn't help at all to try to claim knowledge superiority when arguing about these topics, unless the discussion is a purely factual one. If your concern is that people don't believe the facts as you state them, then take a look at how you present them - make it clear when you're stating a fact versus an opinion, and people are more likely to accept your facts (though maybe not your opinions).
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Senior Member
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Mar 21, 2011, 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by ebaines
Keep in mind that knowing a "whole lot" about a topic doesn't mean that people will agree with you. Consider politics, or religion, or economics - there are lot of people who are incredibly knowledgable in these areas who can never agree on anything. It doesn't help at all to try to claim knowledge superiority when arguing about these topics, unless the discussion is a purely factual one. If you're concern is that people don't believe the facts as you state them, then take a look at how you present them - make it clear when you're stating a fact versus an opinion, and people are more likely to accept your facts (though maybe not your opinions).
That's a very good point ebaines.
Some topics are highly debatable. Philosophy of mind for example has about 3 or 4 seriously competing theories at the moment. What makes it even more controversial is when experiments are carried out the facts can be interpreted differently.
Tut
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Full Member
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Apr 3, 2011, 02:27 AM
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a good question.
it depends on why you want to convince someone.
it depends on how stubborn they are.
in some viewpoints or pivotal values, it is important to share what you believe.
in some is it very important, to feel that you have helped others experience what you feel has value.
to make others like ourselves, so we feel a sameness, or accoumplishment of recruiting someone
to our point of view, is a valid life choice. Some people spend their whole life doing it.
to not be recognized as an expert in a certain field, is often a problem,
even people who have spent much time doing something are not always respected.
people who argue with you, do not always think they have won when you walk away,
quite the contrary they may think they have lost because they did not convince you.
and why is your concern what they think, they did not choose to believe as you do.
they did not choose to go along the path you follow. If they will not become as you are
then are you holding yourself accountable for them? You cannot in any system I have ever
heard about, or considered be such. You must be yourself. You must live with what you are.
you are responsible for you. If they do not want what you value, you may choose to spend time
trying to convince them sometime, but do not spend all your time on those who won't listen.
surely there are those who will, and if they do not, you can be sure that you tried.
trying to help others is what you are doing. But sometimes no matter how hard we try,
realize that our information is incomplete, or not valid through no fault of our own.
in most arguments both sides are not right, so either you or they are incorrect.
but such is the nature of reason, and perhaps one or the other side of any argument
will change their mind someday. So choose to explain your position, but do not be surprised.
time will tell if the information continues on its own, and if eventually it causes change.
your ego is never the issue, the issue is the information you claim is valid.
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Ultra Member
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Apr 3, 2011, 02:44 AM
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Have you ever considered saying, 'thats an interesting point of view tell me more'?
Its very difficult to change someone's beliefs because outwardly they find things that only make their beliefs more concrete, even when faced with factual evidence.
You can always learn another point of view and how they came to that conclusion, in doing so they will be more open to listening to your view point, then perhaps you may give them food for thought or at the very least consider your point of view.
A mutual respect of different beliefs and opinion is healthy and more rounded then tunnel vison.
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Full Member
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Aug 13, 2011, 10:50 AM
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You shouldn't spend your life trying to convince people of your own personal views, accept that they have different views (whether you agree with them or not) and live your life how you chose to.
Like redhed35 said, a mutual respect for different beliefs and opinions are healthy. At the end of the day, everyone has different beliefs and opinions and just think how you'd like it if someone was trying to change your opinion or convert your beliefs/views?
Try and discuss what you want to tell them casually, not in a persuasive manner, but leave it open for both parties to discuss the topic at hand and then leave it at that. They have their beliefs and you have yours.
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New Member
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Aug 16, 2011, 07:47 PM
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Originally Posted by bluefox
I guess I just don't really see the point as they just don't believe me when I say I know a whole lot about this topic. Maybe I'm not very convincing. But I just end up giving up and walking away, and just let them think they won because I just don't care enough to continue. What do most people do in a situation like this if the person isn't really willing to listen and consider your position? It's a bit of a blow to my ego to let them think they won especially if a lot of people are listening.
There is no point in trying to convince someone who has made up their mind, even if they're terribly wrong. I have tried. The best thing you can do is give your whole argument, then walk away. Let the ignorant be ignorant. It's their loss.
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