[nicky35]

I have been on and off with my now ex boyfriend for a year, he has been treated really bad in the past and has issues! He drinks a lot and goes quiet for days at a time without being in contact with me, when he does he says sorry but he was depressed, I think he has a problem with drink as he drinks everyday. Last week after not hearing from him for 5 days he text saying that it was over and that he had met somebody else, I was totally shocked! A couple of days later I found out that he hadn't cheated but said that because he didn't know what to say to me I have text him because I am so angry that he could hurt me like this! He has replied to my texts I am so hurt!

[amicon]

If he has a drinking problem he is going to have to want to get help.

The underlying problem is probably depression so therapy would be a good thing.

But if the two of you are on/off and can't communicate honestly-he lied to you say,then what's the point in staying around?

I think you walk away from this.

[nicky35]

Sorry I was meant to say he hasn't replied to my texts! I know I probably should forget about him and I do love him but I want to help him and it really hurts that he ignores me!!

[amicon]

That's understandable,but I think you're better off not getting in touch with him.

Get busy and do things that make you feel better.

[nicky35]

Yes your probably right, I suppose I am worried I am not worth anything and if he doesn't want to be with me then no one will, he has made me feel totally deflated I just want the pain to go away!

[amicon]

Most of us feel low when it seems we are being rejected,but we can decide how we react to rejection.

The fact that he can't communicate and be a proper boyfriend doesn't mean you are worthless,it means the two of you are'nt right for each other.

There are plenty more fish in the sea.

[nicky35]

He just can't handle the fact that I am a decent girl and really did the think the world of him he just can't accept that and that is because of his past, he has a crazy ex GF who is the mother of his child and she doesn't let him see her as she says he is an alcoholic he just can't deal with that!

[answerme_tender]

Why would you even want to be with someone who is a drunk? Don't you think you deserve better? He is having difficulty dealing with his own issues let alone a relationship. Do yourself a favor move on a find a boyfriend that you can actually enjoy having a relationship with.

Take care

[nicky35]

I keep thinking that he is going to be with someone else and treat them so much better, all my friends keep telling me that he won't because he doesn't know how too, I just need to get that into my head!! I have been so angry with him I just want him to undertand how I feel he won't even talk to me!

[amicon]

That anger is what a lot of us feel when we find ourselves in your kind of situation.

But you're not going to get him to suddenly understand you or your feelings.

He's a drinking alcoholic,he doesn't do feelings.

A good way of getting rid of anger is to do something physical,go for a run, go to the gym,punch the pillow...

[nicky35]

I suppose I jut care too much and I wish he was normal, everyone has said he I not worth it he is damaged too much and I suppose I thought I could put up with drinking if it meant being with him!

[amicon]

Again,he isn't capable of having a second relationship,his first one is with his bottle.

[talaniman]

Stop making excuse for him changing from a drunk bum, to a decent fellow. Most drunks are decent when they are sober. Fact is he is not, and alcohol is a depressant, and when you drink too much you get depressed.

Leave him alone because his issues, and behavior are already dragging you down, and making you depressed.

He either gets sober, and handles his business like a man, or crawls in the gutter. Now get out of the way so he can pay his own consequences, and make his own decision what he wants to do. For sure you are in the way.

[nicky35]

Yes you are right! But it is difficult when your feelings are already there, I know going back isn't the right thing to do its just getting through this!!

[southamerica]

Yes you are right!! But it is difficult when your feelings are already there, i know going back isnt the right thing to do its just getting through this!!!

Sometimes all an addict needs is for those close to them to refuse to support them while they are still an addict. Support can be anything from emotional to financial.

What won't help an addict is enabling their behavior-whether that enabling is sticking around or drinking with them.

And to answer your title question: you are not worth being cheated on. In no way, shape, or form. You are worth respect and dignity as is everyone else.

I wish you the best of luck and strength to work past this.

[nicky35]

Is he really an alcoholic though he does drink everyday as far as I know! I went to spain last year with a friend and he ruined my holiday as he went on a bender and I didn't hear from him for 4 days was worried sick!

[amicon]

If he drinks every day and goes on benders,he has a serious problem with alcohol,so in my opinion that makes him an alcoholic as it seems it not only rules his life,but also ruins it.

He can't take it or leave it,can he?

You need to look out for yourself and not carry this burden around any longer.

Only he can work through his own problems.

[talaniman]

If he ain't, he sure acts like one wouldn't you say??

He needs lots of help. But he has to want help, so leave him alone.

[nicky35]

I don't think he can take it or leave it no, he says he can but he still does it everyday! He is just 37 but when I howed my friends they said he looks 45!

[amicon]

He's in denial,but you should put this behind you now-you can't save him,nobody can save another person,we have to do that ourselves.