Wa `aleikumus-Salaam. I don`t know why you are asking Zakir, because this isn`t his answering forum. All kinds of people are giving replies hear. Anyway, when you get close to her, hug her, kiss her, licking each others fingers when you eat, even sucking her tonque it`s all from Sunnah according to my understanding and Allaah knows best, and sleeping next to her without clothes is Sunnah.
And everything basically is allowed, as Allaah said: "Fa-tuu Harthakum annaa shi-tum", which means more or less "Enter your tilths however you please", and "wa qaddimuu li-anfusikum", which has been explained as meaning to do good before death, but my firm opinion is that in this Verse as it`s in context to entering upon your wife and having sex with her that it may refer to foreplay and generally to let her know beforehand if you`re coming to see her, so she can prepare and beautify herself for you. And Allaah knows best. See: Al-Baqarah:223. The exception is that anal sex is forbidden by Rasuul -sAaws- who has cursed those who do it, and he -sAaws- taught also that it is similar to homosexuality. And all those Hadiiths as evidence are not with me right now, I`m sorry. Anyway it`s Haraam. And intercourse when the woman has menses is Haraam -see: Al-Baqarah:222- but being close to her is not what is forbidden in the Ayah, only intercourse. There is also an opinion that oral sex (to touch to genital area with ones mouth) would be wrong because the same mouth is used for reciting Quran, but I disagree with that opinion, and you may take it or leave it because it`s ijtihaad, not Revelation, and if it wasn`t forbidden by Nabii -sAaws- then there is no need to forbid it.
The important thing is when you are married and you see her, then there is a du`a for that (you touch her forehead with your right hands palm and say: "Allaahumma innii asaluka khairahaa wa khaira maa jabaltahaa `aleih, wa a`uuthu Bika min sharrihaa wa sharri maa jabaltahaa aleih"), and there is a du`aa you and her should remember to say every time before you have sex: "Bismillaah. Allaahumma jannibnaa ash-Shaitaana wa janniba ash-Shaitaana maa razaqtanaa" - if you do these, then your marriage will be safe from a lot of evil. And try to remember every morning (after fajr) and evening (maqhrib) to read three times the last three Surah:s, because they are sufficient to protect against all evil. You will find these athkaar and du`aas with their meaning, and much more good ways to protect yourself by remembering Allaah from the book Hisnul-muslim (http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/fortress_of_the_muslim.pdf).
And Nabii -sAaws- said: "Inna Allaaha Rafiiqun juHibbu ar-rifq" (Verily, Allaah is kind and gentle, He loves kindness."
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