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folette · Mar 6, 2011, 07:28 AM

went out with this guy for 4 months then we broke up. After 3 months, he started calling me. After 2 weeks, he disappeared again. He calls after another month, talks for 3 weeks and then disappear again. It is always like this. It has now been 3 years. Sometimes he sees me on the road, and then starts calling me at night. Just recently, I asked him if he calls all his ex girlfriends k=like he calls me. He says no. I ask him why me, he says he likes talking and then he became angry. Hesays if I donot want to talk, its OK and then rang off. However, when he calls again the following day, I talked rudely and I haven't heard from him since 2 days. My question is what does he want?I know he doesnot love me. I haven't dated anyone since I broke up with him. I just want to know why he keeps calling when it is clear that he doesnot want to get back together. If he likes talking, he has many other girlfriends. Why me?

talaniman · Mar 6, 2011, 08:18 AM

Maybe you are the only one who takes his calls. The others don't give him the time of day.

Why have you allowed him to call you?

adviceishere · Mar 6, 2011, 08:41 AM

Maybe you're a great listener and a pleasure to have as a friend :)

J_9 · Mar 6, 2011, 08:46 AM

Sounds like a stalker to me. Maybe it's time to change your number?

folette · Mar 6, 2011, 08:48 AM

I always take everyone's call. Even if the person has been extra mean to me. I am like that. I think he is already engaged to someone, but when I asked him, he says that I am a fool. When a mutual friend asked him about me, he says that I was the nicest girl he has ever been with. After sometimes, he says that I have dated a lot of men. I was so angry with him and talked rudely . He says that It is OK if you donot want to talk and he did not call for about a month. Then he saw me on the road, he stopped and talked to me and later that night, he started calling me. When we were together, whenever he saw me on the road, he makes as if I was invisible. Once I asked him about marriage, he sayid that he loved me but he is not ready to commit. If he wanted to marry, he would have done so long time ago. I just can't understand him.

amicon · Mar 6, 2011, 09:01 AM

Time to stop trying to understand him and time to stop taking his calls.

There are decent guys out there,don't waste any more of your life worrying about this loser's pathetic behaviour.

redhed35 · Mar 6, 2011, 09:02 AM

There's nothing really complicated here, your answering the phone, your still a good person if you don't, your still a nice person if you make people understand you have a life too and like a nights sleep.

Do you like him calling you?

Do you want something to happen?

If not, by answering his calls YOU are getting in the way of him concentrating on his relationship.

The right thing to do, is stop answering his calls,block him, delete him, your still a nice person, but now you're a nice person who does not take any crap at 2 am!

folette · Mar 6, 2011, 09:12 AM

The problem is that I like it when he calls. I no longer love him but there is still a tiny hope that he wants me back. I think the problem is that I have not gone out with anybody since him, and he is my habit.

amicon · Mar 6, 2011, 09:16 AM

Then break the habit and start meeting new people.

And,seriously,why would you want him back?
He's old news and he's bad news.

folette · Mar 6, 2011, 09:22 AM

I loved him very much and I fear that if I date someone else, the man would be more bad than my ex. I am afraid I will face someone much worse than him.

amicon · Mar 6, 2011, 09:26 AM

Sounds like you have low selfesteem-do you have good friends?Close family?Hobbies?

Date different guys to get to know more people,you don't have to jump into a new relationship.

folette · Mar 6, 2011, 09:30 AM

No. It is not low self-esteem. Yes, I have a lot of friends and am surrounded by family. I live in a close-knitted family.

There are boys who are interested in me but I donot feel at ease with them. I talk to them for 3 days and then stop taking their call

redhed35 · Mar 6, 2011, 09:36 AM

You think he has a fiancé? And you like taking his call on the off chance that he will realise you're the women he wants and you will live happily ever after...

Its not going to happen.

You are the drunk emotional booty call,you boost his ego and off he goes happy as larry and into his girlfriends bed.

Time for you to get on with your life.

I don't think your ready to date because your still fixated on your ex..

To move on and get over him, start no contact, and perhaps talk to a counsellor.

Your well able to stop taking calls when you want to,time to put that same attitude to your ex.