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Malteseeers · Feb 26, 2011, 04:37 PM

So me and my partner have been together for two years now and for the first year everything was fine (he never mentioned anything about having IBS) then all of a sudden out of the blue he starts telling me how he wants to tell me something but is embarrassed about it and tells me he has this. He's always been one for playing on attention and fishing for it when he's ill. I've looked up IBS and I understand it is something that can come and go and can be very uncomfortable but is it really necessary for someone to stay in bed all day, feeling sorry for themselves? Is anyone in a relationship with an IBS sufferer? Because it's getting in the way of us really badly lately because he's constantly making plans and letting me down because of it and he always expects me to go to him, please help. Any advice or anything about a similar experience would be fantastic!

adviceishere · Feb 27, 2011, 01:38 AM

From what I know there can be mild cases and extremely bad cases, I've got a mild case and yet its pretty bad at times and I know a girl that gets it so bad she needs to be sent home sick from work...

Alty · Feb 27, 2011, 02:50 AM

I have IBS, and it does get so bad that I will have to spend time in bed, with major pain medications, and a lot of TLC.

It's very painful, and nothing to take lightly. It's hard to explain unless you've been through it, but I would take his complaints seriously. Do you have to go be with him? No. But if he has to cancel plans because of his IBS, it's a legit reason, and not something you should be upset about.

Just an fyi, I've been married for 15 years, with my husband for 20, and our relationship is fine. He understands what I go through with IBS, and he's very understanding and caring. So do you care enough about this guy to accept that he has an illness that does effect him? If you can't put up with it, it's best to leave now, because the IBS never will.

acciosnivellus · Feb 27, 2011, 11:08 AM

Although this isn't a case of IBS, my sister has a chronic digestion problem that prevents her come doing a lot of things. It can be much worse at times than others. She's always scared she won't be able to find a guy who will "put up" with her problems.

It really isn't something to be taken lightly, or assume that they're just being dramatic. If you want this relationship to work then you need to be understanding of it and support him. It's not fun to go through, and I'm sure he doesn't feel any better having to cancel plans. So yes I think he's entitled to "feel sorry" for himself in a sense, because you're not the only one that gets let down when he has to cancel plans. I'm sure he wants to go out and have fun too, but when you're stuck with a chronic painful condition, yes things can get pretty frustrating. Go easy on the guy!

Wondergirl · Feb 27, 2011, 11:18 AM

Another concern is wondering if there will be adequate bathroom facilities close by when you are out somewhere -- and will you make it in time. Eating out can cause worries because of digestion/food moving through your system and wondering if the food will agree with you and will you have a sudden need for a bathroom.