[cameron8500]

I moved from Michigan to Texas 8-2010. I continued a long distance relationship from Michigan. My now ex finally moved down 1-2011. She refused to move in with me cause she doesn't believe in shacking. When she transferred down.. her work hours are 145 to 945 mines are 745 to 445. 3-4 times weekly we saw each other but I often turn in early due to work schedule.

In Moving down to Texas she had to turn over custodial custody of her 7 yr old son to her ex-husband... he was against moving his son out of state. So while here if not with me she was alone. I recommended she make some friends. She met one and this told of our relationship and differenes and recommeded she see other people. She wanted to get married and have kids I felt we should wait and enjoy ourselves for a little while. We had only been dating since 3-2010.

Since she arrive she was very short tempered and wanted me all the time. Well anyway last week she texted me that she loves me and never wants me to leave her. I had no intentions and enjoyed the relationship. We hung out monday-Wed.. by Thursday she on some dating site and met a man and went out on a date on Friday. I called her while she was on the date.. she sounded surprised and said "why are you calling we have been over". I was shocked and knew she was up to no good.

Yesterday we spoke at work she says that her friend is nice and after talking with him he wants children and to get married... she then showed me a key he gave her for his place. Myself I think it's crazy to move that fast. But I know for a fact that they just met up last Friday one week from today. Would this be considered a rebound?

While she and I was talking to her on the phone during her date... I was calm... but her date said "stop calling my wife"... she's mine now"...I think that they both are nuts...or is it my ego taking over. Lastly, she sent me a text to my phone today.."saying that it doesn't matter how someone meets as long as they are happy... she did not want to be lonely and miserable any longer". If I ask her what, why, or if (pretty obvious)she was upset or if there were things that I was not doing... could she bring it to the table.. she would never say anything.

I think I know the answer but I want to make sure it's not my ego speaking... she was demanding of my time and would get mad if anyone was around me such as my cousin (male) or any other male friend. I don't keep a lot of female friends.

[answerme_tender]

Why are you shocked about her behavior. She has only been going out with you just less then a year, and yet she gave up custody of her OWN child so she could follow a man to a different state. This man isn't even her husband or even engaged too!! That should have been the biggest hint there was!!

I would go total NO CONTACT with this woman, let her move on with her life. You need to be thankful you are stuck with her!!

[Cat1864]

Why did she move to Texas? What were her expectations of the relationship?

You don't actually come out and say it, did you break up before she went on the dating site and site? If so, I think you need to get out of her life and her totally alone.

I think you may have dodged a bullet or ignored some very big warning signs. One of the biggest being that she gave up custodial custody of her son to move to another state to be near/with a person she had a five month face-to-face and five month long distance relationship with. She had no intention of 'shacking up' and every intention of getting married and starting a new family.

I get the feeling that her ex-husband made a very good call when he got custody.

Count your blessings and enjoy your life.

[talaniman]

Leave her alone, and get out of her business completely. Whatever you had together before, you don't have it now, so start doing your own thing, and get your own friends. Doesn't matter if she is on a rebound, or is desperate at this point, because its no longer your business, nor concern. That means ignore her texts, she is on her own.

Disappear from her life.

[cameron8500]

Hey, thanks for the replies... after a night of going out I actually see things much clearer and the blessing that I have that its over.
Talanie... great response my feelings exactly.
Cat1864... she moved to Texas to be with me also most of her family lives down here. We had discussed she and her son moving with me... we spent most of our time together while in Michigan alternating residences... so her son was with she and I lot. What were her expectations... that is the 64k question and the root of all of our issues... she doesn't communicate very well ex; when she arrived in Texas she blocked my number, days later she texted me from a Texas phone number... she was upset I did not fly to Michigan and help her move... I was in training at my job and had no time available for travel.
When she went on the site we were together. We were exclusive and had been with her all day everyday from Friday until that wed (6) days... no issues. We did what most couples do... go out for meals what movies spend quality time together nothing abnormal.
As far as her son and custody goes... the ex-husband was not much in the picture much. So she assumed he did not mind if she took the son out of state. She files the necessary paper work with the state... at the last days before she was to leave he objected but her transfer could not be pushed back.. so they agreed allow the ex to keep the child for the school year and he would send him (son) during summer.
And to answer_me thanks for your response as well.
Again thanks to all of your responses again... obviously she was not happy. I guess... in a time span 36 hours of hearing " I love you and never leave please... to I met someone knew off the internet and we have great chemistry... then showing me keys to this new mans house... that can be an emotional ride. But through this board; family and friends I am at ease now.

Cat1864,
She wanted to settle down and get married. I felt the same way however; I felt we needed to. Learn more about each other. While I was here and she was in Michigan I flew her down once a month. I was in training due to mu job promotion and had no available travel time. I told her I have a two year dating requirement before I would marry or have children. She feels you don't need time tables. My reasons are I feel there must be a sound relationship before over committing things on that level.

[Cat1864]

I don't exactly agree with timetables, but I do believe in knowing what works for you and communicating that with your partner. It doesn't sound like she was willing to listen or compromise (I don't know how much compromising you would have done if she hadn't played her games and, yes, she was playing a game.)

If you haven't already thought about it, No Contact may be something that might give you an extra layer of protection from any confusion she might try to cause. I have a feeling she may attempt to comeback as soon as it turns out Mr. Internet isn't who or what she thought he was.

Good luck.

[cameron8500]

Lastly,
You are correct I did see warning signs. I saw her profile on a dating websites we discussed that she said they were old and although she took most of them down she could not remember all go remove her profiles.. I came across one that she put up in November stating she needed a relationship... we discussed that and I told her that know ld relationships are hard and I was committed to her long term. My friend brought the profile yo my attention.I when she arrived I recommended counseling for us both cause she became very irritated easily and. Communications became a major issue. Her ex-husband whom she married 2x and divorced twice was in a serious relationship and engaged... I felt she was putting pressure on me go get married. She sent me a message stating my intentions were not the same as hers so that why she left. I can live with that now.


That last line came in the last 24 hours her reason for leaving. I guess I wanted understanding now I have it. But to answer your question we were a couple (on the ouside) as of Thursday of last week. Time to move on.

[Cat1864]

Cameron, good luck. :)