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    curiousone66's Avatar
    curiousone66 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 17, 2011, 09:32 PM
    My moms cheating, and I don't know what to do.
    I've suspected for quite some time now that my mom's been cheating on my dad. I've only had really mild proof, proof that wasn't really proof, just things I thought I saw.
    But, I asked her for her email address' password so I could see emails from my teachers, and she said it was 69, written out, in all caps.
    That was a day when she said she was going out of town to work. One email had the subject line 'COME OUT NOW'. As I was curious to see who was taking her to work, I clicked it.
    She was calling another man baby, saying she loved him and couldn't wait to see him. I clicked some other emails, and found some more... graphic, content.
    Last night, she called the house and I told her that I had to reset the password because the password she gave me didn't work. Which was the truth. She was suddenly SO angry, claiming that she never gave me the permission to go on her email, and that she would never do that to me, and that I need to stay out of her emails and give my teachers a different email address. When I tried explaining to her that, yes, she DID let me on her account, she just kept repeating that I'm not allowed on it.

    Originally, I had planned to talk to my eldest older brother about it. He lives 2hrs away but I was going to Facebook message him. Turns out, last night he left to go to cuba for a week.

    My second eldest older brother's girlfriend just drove in from Ohio, so if I told him what was happening, he'd tell her. Plus, I just don't want to say anything to him until my eldest brother knows.

    I don't trust anyone else, except for my best friend, who I told. I trust her with my life, but I still don't know what to do. My mom is pissed at me for looking in her email, and when she comes home tomorrow I have no idea what's going to happen.

    She has to know that I know she's cheating, right? What do I say to her when I see her tomorrow?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Feb 17, 2011, 11:05 PM
    It seems that somehow she thought you would stay out of all her emails except the ones from teachers... now the deed is done, there is no going back. Let her do the talking, and don't threaten her or tell her who you have told or plan to tell. Just listen. Since this is tough for you to bear, show by your expression that you are sad and confused and hurt, for you and your dad, but still, be as quiet about it as possible. You NEVER ever know the whole story until you hear it (your dad cheated, your dad told her he doesn't love her, who knows). Answer back after she comes home.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Feb 18, 2011, 12:55 PM

    I wouldn't jump to conclusions but how old are you?
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #4

    Feb 18, 2011, 01:19 PM

    Your Mother should have never let you have access to her email --period. You could have waited for information from your teachers until she could get them for you. I guess my thing is you shouldn't give someone the ability to get into anything you don't want them too. But, I also will point out this is a good lesson for you not to invade someone else's privacy.

    I guess you will have to play it cool. She maynot know for sure if you have read those emails and might be scared right now. She may ask you flat out if you read any emails that weren't from your teacher. How you answer that is going to play into her reaction.

    I know your going through some scary and uncomfortable time right now. Where is your dad? You needing to talk to someone is understandable and if you feel more comfortabel with waiting to speak with your oldest brother then go for it. Remember this may come down to being NOTHING, but its better to find out then to let this build in your mind till you can't get past it and hurts your relationship with your Mother.

    Keep us posted--take care
    curiousone66's Avatar
    curiousone66 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Feb 18, 2011, 02:49 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post
    Lol 13
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #6

    Feb 23, 2011, 10:30 AM
    Less than a week ago I was talking to one of my best friends before going to a bar and we started talking a little about our fathers. He told me about an experience he had with him in which his father was trying to have sex with their maid. The maid had told my friend when he was about your age that his father had been making moved at her. My friend (14 at the time) decided to tell his older brother who was 17 and the older brother went up to the father, told him what he had heard, and told him that he would personally kick him out of his own house if he was to disrespect his mother in that way again. After this incident the father felt sooo embarrassed and ashamed that he never pulled a stunt like that again. My friend is now 29 and his parents are still together and fairly happy.

    So, my recommendation would veto tell your older sibbling and cross your fingers, because at such a young age, you confronting your mother is a 50/50 chance of having a positive result.

    Good luck,

    Javi

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