[julie_loc]

Is it wrong to capture butterflies for display?
Butterflies are beautiful creatures. The sight of it flying freely is very beautiful, but it is wrong to capture it for display. Butterflies are living things. They don't deserve to be captured. They are a beautiful creation of nature. They deserve to live out its life in a natural way.
Butterflies are like humans. They are harmless. They deserve to be free and live. Butterflies are beautiful, just like all of us. They are made in every shape and size, in every color, and each one is unique. A butterfly is fragile, but with an inner strength like no other creature.
Butterflies are friendly and they do not harm you. They want to be happy and safe. They are delicate specimens. They can injure easily. Once you capture them, it can injure its wings which would make them unable to fly causing them to die.

[Wondergirl]

Do you want singular or plural -- butterfly or butterflies -- it or they/them?

The sentences are very short and make the essay choppy.

[joypulv]

Choose singular or plural instead of mixing them. I'd go with plural: them, they, their instead of 'it.'
I don't know what grade you are in, but I would add a discussion about the need for a few specimens for study and species that are dying out. Can you present a good argument for or against?
You say 'inner strength;' you could add something about the migration of the Monarch, which I think is one of the longest air or land migrations known.

Is it wrong to capture butterflies for display?
Butterflies are beautiful creatures. The sight of it flying freely is very beautiful, but it is wrong to capture it for display. Butterflies are living things. They don't deserve to be captured. They are a beautiful creation of nature. They deserve to live out its life in a natural way.
Butterflies are like humans. They are harmless. They deserve to be free and live. Butterflies are beautiful, just like all of us. They are made in every shape and size, in every color, and each one is unique. A butterfly is fragile, but with an inner strength like no other creature.
Butterflies are friendly and they do not harm you. They want to be happy and safe. They are delicate specimens. They can injure easily. Once you capture them, it can injure its wings which would make them unable to fly causing them to die.

[julie_loc]

Can you fix it?

[Wondergirl]

This is YOUR work. Can YOU fix it?

[julie_loc]

Can you edit it?

[julie_loc]

Can you edit it?

[Wondergirl]

Joy gave you suggestions on how to fix your paragraphs. Now it's your turn to follow through.

[JudyKayTee]

Her other thread has been closed. How about this one?