[hearladams]

What is the current view on the paying of wedding expenses by the bride and groom's parents. Historically, the bride's parents have paid for all wedding expenses, and the groom's parents paid for the wedding rehearsal dinner. Has the rule changed? Or is there even such a rule of thumb today?

[shygrneyzs]

Yes, there is still that wedding etiquette. However, expenses are often negotiated now. Wedding costs can be astronomical and often costs are split. I think it is really up to the couple and their respective families. For example, maybe the groom's parents really want something specific for their son's wedding, so they offer to pay for it.

Emily Post's rules are not so set in stone anymore.

[froggy7]

Keep in mind, too, that those traditions were established when a bride would be marrying young and going straight to her husband's household from her father's. And the young man was expected to have a house, a source of income, and sufficient funds to take on this financial responsibility.

Personally, when I get married, I am going to insist that my fiancé and I cover the wedding costs. If the parents want to contribute, I will consider that a gift on their part, not something that I count on when determining the budget. My way of thinking of it is that this is the start of my life with this person, and if we can't agree on a reasonable budget, figure out a way of having a meaningful ceremony within that budget, and have the self-determination to stick to that budget in the face of tempting add-ons, then we are going to have problems down the road when other financial/emotional issues (like buying a new car or a house) come up.

And a quote that I have written down and intend to tape to my checkbook at that time: "It's about my fiance, not the marzipan doves."

[ghost56]

Here is a very good site to help you with this:- Who Pays for What? A Guide to Figuring Out Who Will Pay for What at Your Wedding