What does it mean when...

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Feb 4, 2011, 05:24 PM

A guy at 23 told his girlfriend that he wanted to marry her, have kids and grow old with her but then, 4 years down the road is iffy about marriage and says "It's only a piece of paper. Marrying you won't make me love you more." and "I'm not so sure you'll be a good parent. You didn't do anything for my son." Now mind you, I went into this relationship at 18 knowing he had a son. I did a lot for a child that is not mine. He seems to have the memory of a goldfish. Throughout our relationship, he use to say to me "I wish my son was our son" but now has second thoughts? Maybe this will help, he was a drug addict for 3 years and just got off them.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2011, 08:59 PM

Same guy??

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...te-470408.html

If it is then think about this. Maybe he needs a bit more time to get his right mind back after being on dope, and perhaps you should give him all the space h needs to do it on his own. That would be better than wasting any more time on a dopey boob who doesn't appreciate you. Maybe you should pick a better father for your future child.

I mean you have been together 4 years and he was on dope for 3 of them? Then he still has a very long way to go then doesn't he?

mystific · Feb 4, 2011, 10:44 PM

"I'm not so sure you'll be a good parent

Yes because being a drug addict is the perfect role model for a good parent.

I commend you on sticking with him and supporting him through what can only assume to be a very difficult stage.

Unfortunately, I believe it would now be time for him to focus on restructuring and reforming his life in order to be a solid foundation in his child's life rather than having someone do it for him.

I'm on the bandwagon with Tal, he needs to sort his life out with the space and support he needs. You need to take this experience of life and restablish yourself on a new and productive path.

I honestly, don't see him making a lifetime commitment to you. He's yet to settle the demons on the inside before he can focus on forging a new life with you.

SaraHere · Feb 17, 2011, 07:53 AM

Maybe his changed.. people can change and have different few's on the life they want I think you should just talk to him and tell him where this relationship is going.. you want to be assertive that this relationship is worth having good luck on the near future