[missyy]

I'm a little bit lost...
My partner, 3 months into our relationship got drunk and spooned another female naked (said nothing else happened). They shared a single bed and used to have relations together before me. Anyway, after him lying to me for 1 year changing his story, I finally found out the truth and he promised he would never hurt me again and that he has learnt his lesson.

Now, we have been together almost 3.5 years in total.
6 months ago I learnt that he had signed up for a website designed for cheating, complete with his status as "attached male seeking females". He only made a guest account but he did contact people. Completely broke my trust but he refuses to believe he did anything wrong, constantly yells at me because he says I should have regained my trust in him after 3 years (the first incident), and says that the website was nothing and I don't have a reason for it to have damaged my trust in him?

Now I am having trouble rebuilding trust in him as I am scared he will hurt me again, yet he yells at me because he expects it to be almost instant (even after he has hurt me more than once).

Is he treating me like a doormat? Am I being silly or does the website show a complete betrayal of trust again? No matter what I say to him he just won't listen to me!!

Oh and I got the blame for him signing up to it, because I caused a lot of fights around that time so it is my fault??

Help!!

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...nd-456066.html

I see you tried to hang in there with this fellow, and here you are again. More trust issues. He is totally wrong, and your fear insecurities and mistrust come from his actions, and are well deserved. That's why its time to take the advice gotten before, ad leave him to his own devices and be happy with just you as you heal, and get the trust back in yourself.

You are only to blame for his behavior if you stay and put up with it, and not make some drastic changes. You have been questioning yourself long enough, stop it. Get rid of your problem, you have a lying cheater as a partner, and that has to change.

[answerme_tender]

How much more does he have to prove to you that he cannot be trusted. That he has no problem going behind your back, why--because you have PROVEN that you will take him back.

There comes a point in our lives when we have to STOP letting someone who suppose to love us treat us no better then a stranger they just met.! You need to wake up and kick this loser to the curb.

We all deserve better, aren't you even curious as to what your missing!! Its time, you have literally wrung has much affection out this rag of a relationship as you possible can. Take care

[acciosnivellus]

Oh hun I know where you're coming from. :( It's not fun, at. All.

"Now i am having trouble rebuilding trust in him as i am scared he will hurt me again, yet he yells at me because he expects it to be almost instant (even after he has hurt me more than once)."

I know this exact statement VERY well. I could have written this, in fact I'm sure I have at some point. It's not easy to just forgive and forget and suddenly be able to trust again, despite what they think. In fact, it's downright impossible with repeated offenses. You deserve so much better than this, and you do NOT deserve the stress that comes along with this unhealthy relationship. My advice is to move on, as difficult as that may be, it will be so much better for you in the long run.

I'm finally out of a 4 yr relationship that was like this with all the repeated trust issues and lies. I finally learned that nothing was going to change the longer I stayed. You will realize this too if you haven't already. It sucked being a paranoid wreck all the time and not believing a word that came out of my own boyfriend's mouth! What kind of relationship is that? Leaving was the best choice I've ever made. It was NOT an easy choice at all, but it was the best choice for sure. I finally have my sanity back! Save yourself before it gets worse. Good luck!