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    salzer's Avatar
    salzer Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 30, 2011, 07:17 PM
    She says she needs time to find herself
    Hey, my girlfriend of a year just broke up with me last week because she says she needs to find herself and see what she really wants out of life. She says she loves me but that she doesn't know if I'm the one. She says she doesn't want to string me along anymore and that if she misses me she'll come back. But also that I should't wait around. I told her not to worry, I wont(but in a nice way).

    The relationship has been up and down like this for almost the whole time. One day she wants to get married next she doesn't know if she likes me.

    I told her OK and good luck and hopes she finds what she's looking for. I said no contact for three months and then I defriened her on Facebook, hoping that by severing the connection between us completely it will speed up the process if she wants me back.

    Anyway, is there anything else I can do to get her back besides not contacting her for the next while?

    And do you think she'll come back? How do these things work? Our relationship was really great, even if we had fights occasionally.


    Oh by the way I am 23 and she is 20
    acciosnivellus's Avatar
    acciosnivellus Posts: 52, Reputation: 51
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Jan 30, 2011, 07:35 PM
    Well the relationship may have been great on your end, but perhaps not on her end, especially if she went from one day wanting to marry you to not even being sure if she liked you the next. And if she's been this wishy washy about her feelings for you throughout the whole relationship, that's a huge red flag. If after a whole year you can't determine your feelings for your partner, it's never going to happen! Your emotions are being toyed with in the meantime, which isn't fair. It will be the same story if you get back together. A year is more than enough time to decide if you like someone or not! Sounds like you need to stick to No Contact and not wait around for a whole lot of nothing, except disappointment. Focus on yourself now, don't put your life on hold. You will eventually meet a girl who absolutely adores you day in and day out- not just depending on her mood!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jan 30, 2011, 08:28 PM

    You stay with NC, and do your thing and find someone else that you get along with better and have all the fun you can.

    You never wait for a female that dumps you to change her mind. Even if she does, why go through that same crap and get dumped again? You just do better next time with somebody else.
    vanheart's Avatar
    vanheart Posts: 2,806, Reputation: 708
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Jan 30, 2011, 09:48 PM
    "she''ll be back if she misses me"?

    Screw that. Nice one.

    All those things she said are true.

    Broke up, wants to find herself. Doesn't want to string you along. Letting you down easy as most women try.

    The fact is she doesn't want to be with you. And there's only one thing you can do.

    Accept & go NC. Ok, two things...

    Sorry man, Don't try to get her back. It'll only cause more heartache, set you back & keep you wondering instead of living.

    Join the crew. Suck it up, learn to live w/o her & rock it.

    Its only a year. Be glad it wasn't more.



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