[sadface]

My husband and I have a solid relationship and we recently had a baby.
However about 6 months ago my husband became really friendly with this guy through work. They work a lot together - self - employed.

Now, there is something about this guy I can't quite put my finger on! He seems nice enough but I feel I couldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.

When I tell this to my husband he laughs and tells me he's all right!

My husband is not one to go out alone a lot. However the few times he went out alone with this guy, once he got so drunk he slept on this guys couch and only called me early hours of the morning to say he was coming home but didn't come home till the afternoon.
This guy took my husband to a strip club! (first time for my husband)
I find that when he drinks with the guy my husband gets a bit cocky and I don't always like his attitude!
He spends a lot of time with him. Yesterday all day and when my husband joined me at my friends child baby party he didn't seem to be interested to be there and asked me if we can go to his friend... I said NO!

How would you guys feel about this?

Oh and another incident.. my husband said he was working late in an office as he he had to finish some desks urgently... and came home at 2am ish... and in morning after I told him how late you worked he said I didn't work all that time.. I went for a few drinks with my friend when I was done! And I'm at home thinking how late works!

[talaniman]

I would be concerned about the drinking, but would say nothing until he is all sobered up.

[Cat1864]

I just read your previous thread (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...ct-211395.html) and I think it is time to work on Communications and working as a couple again.

From what you wrote in the other thread in Nov. 2010 and the time-line you give for when this friendship began, it seems to coincide with the end of your pregnancy and the birth of your child. How involved is he in the care of your son? How much time do you have for each other (if the friend were not in the picture)? Do you still make time to spend time together as a couple?

I agree that you need to talk to him about your concerns about his drinking.

I also think that you are repeating a pattern of things getting involved and him finding diversions. As you were told in that thread, be proactive. Go back to what you learned that helped your marriage survive those issues. When he sobers up set a time to talk with as few distractions as possible.

[sadface]

He is great with our son. I can't complain in that department.
The drinking - well he doesn't drink everyday with his friend. Sometimes I have a drink with them too.

My husband and I have date nights once a month. So we are good also.

[sadface]

This is the guy who made a pass at me!! So I was right about not quite puttin my finger on it.. an dhe is suspicious! A women's gut is always right