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    BellaFM's Avatar
    BellaFM Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 24, 2011, 03:06 PM
    I don't know how to leave my married man..
    I met my married best friend at work nearly four years ago now and we've been inseparable since. There is sexual relationship to it but most importantly a friendship of two people who back then had lost their way a bit. You may comment underneath saying I'm a home wrecker or a whore and trust me, you aren't the first people to judge me. I can't explain how much I love him, everything about him makes me so proud to be close to him. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to keep my cool. I want him to myself so badly now but I also don't want to be the reason his marriage breaks up. I don't want to be in a relationship where one day I could be resented. But how do I leave? I'm so depressed and lonely I can't bring myself to walk away forever from the one person who makes me so happy.
    twinkiedooter's Avatar
    twinkiedooter Posts: 12,172, Reputation: 1054
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jan 24, 2011, 05:21 PM

    So if you can't bear to walk away then continue to just keep playing the self pitty party and be happy with that. What do you want him to do? Leave her for you? Please think about how stupid and pathetic you sound saying that you don't want to be in a relationship where one day I could be resented. What for clap trap is this?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 24, 2011, 10:35 PM

    I guess you have to stay until you are depressed, and lonely enough to leave the married guy, and get a better life.

    But then how can someone who makes you so happy make you so depressed and lonely? That makes as much sense as the relationship you're in.

    If people who judged you can't motivate you ask his wife if she can help. That makes as much sense as this relationship does too, doesn't it?

    Seriously, get a life that makes you happy without being an idiot. Oh have I judged you? Was that unfair? Not really, what you allow him to do to his wife is what's unfair.

    Loneliness and depression can be cured by doing the right things for yourself, and his wife. As long as you help him cheat on her, you got nothing coming. If the wife finds out, then you will be resented as a homewrecker, so make a good choice for yourself. Up to you.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #4

    Jan 24, 2011, 10:43 PM

    You've been together for 4 years and he hasn't left his wife. What does that tell you?

    He doesn't love you, he loves her. If he loved you he'd leave her. He hasn't, and he won't.

    You are sex. I'm sure to you it's more, but to him it's all about sex. If there was more than he'd be in your bed every night and the wife would be the one alone and lonely.

    So, are you happy being a sex toy? If you are, then stay, enjoy, but realize that he will never ever choose you over her. If he hasn't done it yet, he never will. Or, you could leave him, find someone that loves you just as much as you love him, someone to build a life with, not just a booty call whenever it's convenient for him.
    puneet_pr's Avatar
    puneet_pr Posts: 1, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jan 24, 2011, 11:46 PM
    Please leave this relation or break it. He is playing with u and you think this is love. You playing with some meaning full relations, think about his wife and his children. I don't want to discuss any more. My suggestion is please leave that relation. GOD BLESS YOU.
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #6

    Jan 25, 2011, 12:24 AM


    ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again
    ERROR: You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Altenweg again

    Stop the sex and see how long this lasts.

    As already said you are just the "Sex".

    She gets the dinners, the house, the title and you get.. sex.

    He's playing you big time. Ask him to leave her and see what happens.

    My prediction will be a big fat nothing. And I didn't need a crystal ball for that either.

    You leave by cutting him from your life. Simple. Change your phone, move house, change emails, get off Facebook etc etc. It can be done and has been by many people.
    blueiris982551's Avatar
    blueiris982551 Posts: 20, Reputation: 16
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    #7

    Jan 25, 2011, 12:15 PM
    Please read: I was in the same situation except my relationship only lasted a few months. When you first walk away you will feel sad and tempted to return but the longer you keep this up the greater the pain will be in the long run. I walked away because it was morally wrong and I knew that I deserved a guys attention 100%. When you look at it from the outside would you really want to be with a guy that strays? Ugghh, no. You could either be straight up with him and say you're done or you could simply not respond to any of his messages. He'll get the clue real quickly. If you were in a healthy relationship you wouldn't feel sad, lonely and depressed. Do it, dump his sorry a$$
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    Jan 25, 2011, 01:59 PM

    You are nothing more then this guys ego boost, nothing more. He will never leave his wife for you, mostly because then you wouldn't be an ego boost you would then be nothing more then a wife. He doesn't want a wife, that is boring, routine, she has other things to do besides stroking his ego, and that is where you come in!!

    All this might of started being friends, and him saying how much you really get him, how you understand him without judgement. When really he was getting off with you, without judging him in the wrong!!

    Bottom line here is if you want a man of your own, then you are going to have to do it like all the rest of us woman. Get out and start meeting some SINGLE men, put yourself out there. Its a lot harder to compete with other single woman, then an unsuspecting wife!!

    You know screwing around with a married man is wrong, yet YOU have CHOSEN to go right ahead and do whatever you felt right to YOU, well know you are reaping the rewards from messing around with a married man, what are those rewards---NOTHING!! You are right back were you started alone with no man beside you, no one to confide in that is yours alone, no one to hold your hand in public, no one to say " l love you" to you without knowing he is saying exact samething to his WIFE.

    Its time to get your pride back, walk away from this man. Get your life back on right path, something that you can hold your head up high and never have to worry again about someone judging you or calling filthy names!! I know you are going to hurt, and mourn, but stick to your guns and don't ever let anyone including yourself every make you get to this point again were you feel its okay to be with another woman's husband!!

    Take care
    mystific's Avatar
    mystific Posts: 340, Reputation: 308
    Full Member
     
    #9

    Jan 25, 2011, 02:40 PM

    What do you deem to be happy? Seriously living in the shadow of another woman is what makes you happy?

    Tell you what send him to me for four years and feign knowledge. Then you'll get a call to say "hey guess what love, your mans been keeping my bed warm all these years"

    How would that make you feel? Deceived, betrayed, dirty oh yeah and ultimately destroyed.

    Good for you.. while you're feeling so sad.. take heart for the woman whose man you're screwing. Well done. There should be commendations out there for women like you. Yeah yeah you've heard it all before.. blah blah blah, but what do you care right so long as you get what you want with no regard to putting it right.

    Grow a sense of self preservation and do what's right.

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