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afool291 · Jan 23, 2011, 11:07 PM

You really have the wrong impreession

afool291 · Jan 23, 2011, 11:07 PM

I agree with you

Alty · Jan 23, 2011, 11:17 PM

well what you don't know is that she willing was having sex with him behind my back in my house,. she left home 4 years ago no one knew why then... but now the whole family knows.. it was my mom the whole time ssnd said nothing to me about it..

She was 14! That's what you're not understanding. She was a child. He wasn't. She is a victim of rape, even if she willingly had sex with him, because she was young, not able to make that type of decision. He is the one that didn't walk away, and he's the only one that should have been smart enough and mature enough to do so. He's a pedophile. He's a sex offender, and your daughter was and still is his victim.

There are laws to protect young teens from sexual predators like your boyfriend. She wasn't old enough to consent to sex, and you can bet he knew that. Even if he didn't, what kid of sicko goes after a child the same age as his own child?

his daughter and my daughter were bestfreinds [not for real] they really fooled me,I was good to both of them,

I don't understand the hatred you have for your daughter. I'm not blaming you for what happened at all. Obviously you didn't know what was going on. I am blaming your boyfriend, and only him. She's been a victim of his for 6 years. I bet he has her good and brainwashed at this point in time.

What he did is a crime. He needs to be punished for it.

DoulaLC · Jan 24, 2011, 04:28 AM

>>>>>The fact is, a 14 year old doesn't have the maturity, the life experience, or even the fully developed brain to make a decision concerning sex. So, even if she consented, she wasn't in a position to do so. That's why there are laws about age of consent, to protect those who aren't wise enough to protect themselves. Frankly I think the age of consent is too low in the majority of areas.

I agree... at 14 she wouldn't have the maturity to understand the consequences, but as we know from many posts on AMHD many do so regardless. They "think" they do, and that is the problem. Legal or not, it certainly does not stop many teens from doing so. He has the ultimate responsibility, no question about it.

Your situation and Judy's are both horrendous and in no way should anyone in those situations be made to feel they were responsible in some way or wrong for it occurring.

JudyKayTee · Jan 24, 2011, 06:16 AM

Maybe it's easier to be angry with the daughter than it is to be angry with herself. Otherwise - I have no explanation.

Instead of posting and posting the OP should march herself to the Police Station. It's too late for her daughter; it may not be too late for the NEXT child who crosses his line of vision.

afool291 does not find this helpful : idid every thing to be honest , she willing had sex with him told me he didn't want me , but wanted her

You still aren't getting it - she CAN'T "willingly" have sex with him. She's underage. She cannot consent. She's 14! Sorry you don't find the truth to be helpful. What do you want anyone to say? Obviously we aren't saying it.

afool291 · Jan 24, 2011, 07:20 AM

Stop for a minute... the mother is not blaming the daughter she is obviously hurt behind this these comments are not going to help sitution she went the [police , called social services, talked to the bishop,, her mom knew and didn't tell her , they actrually got a kick out oif it... that's crazy now she blamed for that to.. really wwrong

JudyKayTee · Jan 24, 2011, 07:24 AM

Originally Posted by afool291

stop for a minute ............the mother is not blaming the daughter she is obviously hurt behind this these comments are not going to help sitution she went the [police , called social services, talked to the bishop,,,,,,,,,,,,her mom knew and didn't tell her , they actrually got a kick out oif it... thats crazy now she blamed for that to .. really wwrong

No, YOU stop for a minute.

Are you one person posting under two names?

How do YOU know the mother went to the Police, called Social Services, talked to "the bishop"... and HER mom knew... and got a "kick" out of it.

If you are posting under two names - why? It's also a very clear violation of AMHD rules.

Curlyben · Jan 24, 2011, 07:27 AM

For information:

smithvickie (OP) and afool291 ARE the same person.
Would you stick to ONE account otherwise I will remove your access to the site due to misrepresentation.

jenniepepsi · Jan 24, 2011, 07:48 AM

Thanks ben, I was getting confused for a moment there.

OP, I am done posting here. You have agreed with me, you have said 'you are right' to me. Yet you refuse to stop being so volitile towards your daughter and start doing what you need to do AS A MOTHER for your daughter. Sadly, the child is an adult, and unless SOMEONE files an action against this man, nothing will be done about it, she will continue to live with a pedofile. And sadly, one day, you may have to deal with your daughter telling you that he has done the same thing to HER child.

Good luck to you. I will be praying for your daughter and grandchild.

JudyKayTee · Jan 24, 2011, 11:18 AM

Actually, Jennie, she now (in her "other" name) says she DID contact the Police and a social worker and "a bishop." I'm not sure what the true story is.

jenniepepsi · Jan 24, 2011, 12:03 PM

Although I hate to say ths about myself. This poster almost sounds like I did several years ago. Posting something, but then changing details to try and convince others that SHE is in the right.

JudyKayTee · Jan 24, 2011, 12:06 PM

You know, I forgot that - you were brutally honest at that time and so you are still here and everybody still likes you and everybody understands. I told you at that time that I admired you.

This woman - I don't know.

DoulaLC · Jan 24, 2011, 02:21 PM

The story certainly does get more and more interesting and sadly makes you start to wonder.

I am done posting as well on this topic. The OP has been given advice, which she asked for, on how to deal with it. If her daughter went along with things on her own accord, I would be disappointed and upset if my daughter did so, so I can understand if this mother is also upset.

However, as everyone has stated, the daughter was underage and legally not able to make such a decision in the eyes of the law, hence the onus is on the man alone. Being an adult, charges should be brought against him in hopes that he won't be able to do something similar to another young girl. If you do nothing, you empower him to continue to prey on other girls and women.

IF other people supposedly knew what was going and didn't speak up, I would be furious with them and they should be held accountable as well.

The whole story became increasingly bizarre, but there are sick families out there who really do need help and families whose way of thinking are outside the norm.

So if all of the events are true, I hope the OP continues to seek out the help her family needs as has been suggested. If you get turned away at one door, keeping making noise until somebody listens.

dontknownuthin · Jan 24, 2011, 04:17 PM

What more to say - he raped your 14 year old chid. Report him to the authorities, press charges for statutory rape and stick to those charges and enforce them to the ends of the earth. Get into counseling with your daughter, and recognize that YOU failed to protect her from someone YOU brought into the home - she did nothing to you. It appears you didn't know abou it, but I wonder if there were signs you chose to ignore? Only you can answer that - but to blame her for it is pretty insane, really.

Your daughter is a victim in this and needs you to apologize for bringing this person into her life. She needs to understand she was conditioned and brainwashed from a very young age by a child predator and that you regret not seeing the signs and protecting her, and she needs to know that you are there for her through the pregnancy and beyond, but this guy is nothing more to you than a criminal who molested her daughter.