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Fixer12 · Jan 13, 2011, 10:06 AM

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years now. Currently we are in a long distance relationship and she will be moving out to where I live to be with me in a few months. In her past she had gotten married when she was very young, and was in an abusive relationship and got a divorce shortly after. This happened when she was about 19 years old. Now she is 21 and I am 22.

She wanted me not to tell my family about her being married, and I agreed because I felt it is something that happened in her life, so she could tell them when she feels comfortable about it. It has been a while and with her moving out here I believe that soon it should be time. My parents DO know that she was in a very serious relationship (like engaged) and my parents didn't really react to poorly about it. They are both understanding people. In fact my brother has a girlfriend who already had a baby with another guy and gave iut up for adoption. (I feel that is worse)

My girlfriend that soon we should tell my parents, but I believe it is something that she needs to tell them with me there, in person. Have I done something wrong by not telling them, because it was a part of my girlfriends life she wasn't ready to share?

talaniman · Jan 13, 2011, 10:24 AM

Let this go guy, as your parents do not have to know every detail of her, or your personal business. When SHE is ready, and comfortable, then SHE will tell them. You should not even be pressuring her AT ALL on this subject.

Until then, keep your mouth shut, and don't even bring it up to her again. This is no business of your parents, why do you think it is?

answerme_tender · Jan 13, 2011, 10:35 AM

Whatever happened in her life prior to meeting and dating you, is NO ONES BUSINESS PERIOD!! I don't care if they are you parents or the President of the United States. If she DECIDES to SHARE her past with your parents or anyone else then that is her choice to do so. Why in the world you ever give your parents the right to judge the person whom you love!! They should respect her for no other reason then she is your girlfriend. I am not saying they have to like her, hopefully they will hit it off and get along great, but not every personality bond well, but it still comes down to respect, NOT CONTROL!!

I also have to just mention that little sentence were you state that your brothers girlfiend had a baby and gave it up for adoption and how you thought that was worse--ARE YOU SERIOUS---no wonder you are worried about your girlfriend meeting your parents, if they are as judgemental as you then she is in deep trouble!! Making a choice to have your baby and giving it to a couple to raise and love is a extremely hard choice, but it is also the most loving choice a mother or father could make if they are unable to raise their child themselves and how dare you judge this young lady for making that very difficult choice!!

Your girlfriend has gone through a very hard previous marriage, with a controlling, dominating pig of a man. I certainly hope you truly realize what she has been through and how hard it was for her to get out of it. She deserves a lot of respect for making a decision to leave. It shows that she will also make the same choice if needs be in the future.

Cherish and protect what you have, if you really love her then she deserves your totally support, with NO judgment from other family members.

acciosnivellus · Jan 13, 2011, 11:36 AM

Whaat? I don't understand why your parents must know that? It doesn't affect your parents in any shape, way, or form. That is just setting her up to be judged and most likely makes her feel worse about her past, like she has some big secret that she should be ashamed of. Instead, she should be treated like the strong young woman she has become, and not make her feel like she needs to "come clean" to strangers she just met. And saying she can tell them "when she's ready" doesn't cut it. That is still direspectful in my opinion. She confided in you because she loves and trusts you. Offer your reassurance, support, and love- and leave it at that.

LightCross · Jan 14, 2011, 03:44 AM

Everyone has their own past and private secret , when ,to who,how they tell it is all in their right, you don't have any right over your gf's past thus it is wise to leave it up to her when to tell your parents in person. Do not pressure her or give her deadline when or how to tell it to your parents because like I said , the right is in her hand despite that she is your girlfriend.Leave your gf's past part to her and do your own part.