[curlyqisme]

All threads merged into one.


Okay so me & my now ex boyfriend have been breaking up, getting back together, & fighting non stop for about 2 months. His ex girlfriend texts me & makes up a bunch of lies trying to break us up. (she has my number saved in her phone, she doesn't even know me) BUT, she's not the only girl that has popped up. I've repeatedly been called names by these girls & it's frustrating because they won't leave us alone. We were together for 6 months, & we've been through a lot with his insane ex girlfriend. We've been broken up for about a week because he said he was thinking about cheating on me because he says I'm acting like I've been cheating. I'm faithful in a relationship, & I wouldn't do that. He's cheated on all of his past ex girlfriends but he swears he's over the cheating. He said he loves me & that I'm the only girl he's actually been in love with. The sad part is I don't really believe him.. I just think he's a player. I think his excuses are stupid & make no sense; so I dumped him. Was I wrong for dumping him? What should I do with this stiuation? I've had my breaking point & I have no idea what to do.

[Love__Hurts]

No you wasn't wrong for breaking up for him, because every woman has a breaking point and you have reached yours so stay by you ground. I have had that similar experience with my ex boyfriend. But you just gottah keep your head up. And if you love him then ask yourself are you willing or is he worth it to go through hell to be with him. I hoped I helped!

[curlyqisme]

My boyfriend hits on other girls on facebook/other websites. I find out that he does that because I have his password. I get VERYY upset & angry when I find out. Am I mad over nothing? Also, I let him go to the strip club one night & he was so intoxicated he accidentily gave one of the strippers $100. The ridiculous part is, he TALKS to that stripper, & I found out he was hitting on her on Facebook! Calling her names like beautiful & love. The point is, he does this to a lot of girls that he talks to. He says they don't mean anything to him & that they look stupid because they know he's in a relationship with me. Why do guys do this? Should I give him the boot, does he sound like a player?

[Scheat]

He doesn't sound like a player,he IS a player.I could try to elaborate as much as I want but you seem like a smart girl and you have it all figured out already,you probably just needed someone from the outside to confirm you're not crazy.To me you sound capable of walking away and not looking back,so,why aren't you doing that already?

[talaniman]

You leave this fellow, and his crazy exes, and her friends alone, and get some better healthier, more mature people in your life. Its your choice, but you don't need those kooks, and their games, and he is as kooky as his crazy friends. Let her have him, and be glad its not you anymore.

[jmjoseph]

When the bad times outweigh the good, it's time to make some changes in your life.

Severe all ties, and move on to a new phase in your life.

I wish you luck.

[curlyqisme]

So.. I dumped my boyfriend but I need to know how to not give in when he tries to talk to me. I can't change my number for another year because I have verizon. Me & him got together about a month after him & his ex broke up. Basically what happened with our relationship is he hit on other females, his ex girlfriend stalks my phone telling me he hits her up saying to call her or that he loves & misses her. I recently saw a message on my e-mail where he said to call him asap. He said she made the message up. They both told me that she was the first girl he loved (cared about) not in love with her though. I'm not kidding, about 9 females have popped up during our 6 month relationship. He has cheated on his ex's in his past & has told me all about why. He said he's done with the cheating & he would never cheat on me. We get together & break up a LOT because of drama. I usually dump him. He has a really bad temper & he sometimes calls me names & says stuff like "leave me alone" "***** you" then breaks up with me, & then a couple hours later or the next day he apologizes & says he wants me back. The crazy part is he says he's in love with me, he loves me, & he wants to get married to me & have kids. But, I found out the first time he told me he loved me he only said it because he though that's what I wanted to hear. But he then told me he really did grow to love me. He said he thought about cheating on me recently & I'm not with that so I dumped him... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE. He's so believable that when I try & prove him wrong he makes me believe him & I feel stupid.. he usually says I'm over reacting or that I get mad over stupid stuff. He said if I'm "playing my role" as his girlfriend, then I shouldn't be worried about him cheating. I think that's just an excuse TO cheat on me. What is with this guy??

[Jake2008]

Imagine that you stayed with him, despite all the doubts, fears, and past experiences. You marry him, have a baby, only to find out that absolutely nothing has changed. He still lies and covers up lies with more lies, you cannot rely on him, and he continues to treat you as though you don't have half a brain.

Where would you be then.

It is one thing to be in a committed relationship that is strong enough to withstand the rigors of life, the ups and downs, and unexpected events that will leave you at times ill, unemployed, going through a terrible loss such as a parent, etc.; It is quite another thing to be involved with someone you can't trust them enough to go to the corner store for a bag of milk without wondering who's he's chatting up on his cell phone.

I see a very big gap between what you are working with, and what you should be able to expect in a committed relationship. I don't see him as even being out of the starting gate.

Think long and hard about investing more in a relationship that will keep you spinning your wheels.

[acciosnivellus]

I think you made the right decision :) You are smart enough to value yourself worth and sanity before it got too crazy- that's a refreshing read! Others are not so lucky. Some of us get so deeply involved in losing battles, filled with lies and betrayal, that we often forget ourselves. I know what you mean with the stories that just don't make sense or add up. It's insulting to our intelligence! That can drive anyone crazy. Congrats for saving yourself from more stress and drama! It may be painful at first to leave, but relief will come soon enough and you will know that you made the right decision.

[LightCross]

I see that somehow he is some kind of a guy you can't believe in for a long term relationship honestly, but again it also depends on you what kind of relationship you want?IF you want a short term relationship or just for fun relationship then okay this guy can provide you with that, but I know you don't want that right? You want committed and long term one, and I can say that this guy doesn't fit the criteria for that sincerely, he can say he loves you and such but well acts speak louder than words, in fact he did cheat on you and if he wants to be in long term relationship with you and really love you he needs to build trust up with you and prove that he has changed and ready to commmit long term relationship with you. There are manhy guys out there who willing to love you, dedicate to you and be able to commit and make you happy better than him if you ask me

[redhed35]

Just to add to the other posts,if you contact your phone service provider they can block the numbers you don't want contacting you,the facility may be on your phone,the same goes for email.

[Devorameira]

I think abusers are all the same. They are controlling and obsessive and always try to sweep their prey off their feet and always feed a line of bull to get them back. Just try to remember that it’s a show and if you did go back with him that the minute you’d feel settled his bad side would rear it’s ugly head again.

As you know, blowing up over little things leads to name calling, putting you down and making you feel stupid. Just know that it could eventually lead to violence.

He’s an abusive, controlling, cheating jerk. You’d be so much better off without him. You have to completely avoid him. Don’t talk to him, don’t even get near him if you fear the temptation is that great. Your safety and future is at stake here. If you don’t put yourself first now and really move on without him, you will definitely live a life full of heartache.

[Homegirl 50]

This relationship is 6 months long and full of drama. This guy does not sound like a serious relationship type guy. He did cheat on his ex. And he puts you down.
Do you want more of the same?
Walk away from this guy, go no contact. You will hurt for a while but better now than worse later.

[dynocompe]

The guys is a player, control freak, cheater, abuser, manipulator. Block his number, move on. Sounds like a Jerry Springer episode to me

[curlyqisme]

Comment on acciosnivellus's post

Thank you so much :) I feel accomplished..

i'm heart-broken, what should i do?

I'm single. Right now. & me & my boyfriend broke up about a week ago. I feel like my feelings for him are very strong, & I don't think I've felt this way about anyone. But our "relationship" was drama so I had to end it. If you read my other posts you'll know what I'm talking about when I say drama. Anyway, I feel like a piece of me is missing.. I don't know what to do with myself. My feelings were very caught up with him, only to find out that he's a player. I really felt like he was my soulmate & I was his.. & for the first time in my whole life, I put in a lot of effort trying to get a relationship to work, only to get nothing in return. I know getting over him will take a while, but how do I make it as painless as possible? Also, in every relationship I've been in, they've played me, lied, or cheated (I've been in about 4 relationships).. sad I know.. SO, how can I spot a player/cheater/liar from the first or few times I talk to them? I want to avoid this from happening from me next time.. I feel like giving up completely.

[cmyweb]

Sorry to hear about how you have been treated.. Its never nice when you have been hurt, I know how you feel about being cheated on and I'm a guy lol. I was with my ex for 10 years and married for 4 before she decided to have an affair.
I isn't going to say I was a perfect guy, but I was honest and caring and when I made mistakes I learned from them.

The best answer I could give you could be.. : There is no easy way of making things less painfull, you just have to try and keep active as much as you can x.
As for meeting guys.. I would suggest not to meet a guy when your out in a pub or nightclub.. Try meeting a guy at a different place..
As for signs if a guy is a player.. well some are very clever so its hard to say really. The eyes always tell the truth, so look into a guys eyes when he says something.. x

Hope that helps a little

[mystific]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ms-542098.html

Given your post here and the 'drama' involved, I'd be glad to be done with this. It's not healthy and far too much 'he said / she said'.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and 'assume' your early 20's late teens?

he said he was thinking about cheating on me

Honestly, this would be a clear indication that he wasn't in it for the long haul.

Yes you should move on. His loss not yours..

SO, how can I spot a player/cheater/liar from the first or few times

There are men & women out there who have been in relationships for years, decades and not know they've been played or cheated on. Or choose to turn the other cheek. Me personally, communication and gut instinct would tend to guide me away from the 'leeches'.

Comes down to experience and dating all kinds of people. It's called life.

[curlyqisme]

Threads merged



So, me & my ex broke up about a month ago. But we last talked about 3 weeks ago. Lets just say it didn't go well, & our conversation ended by him saying he promises me I won't hear from him again.. kind of harsh, I know. We broke up because another girl is in the picture ( he likes her). For the past 2 weeks I've been having nightmares or just dreams with him in them. Last night my dream was so bad, I woke up crying. My dream was about me seeing him & his new girlfriend together, & seeing how happy they were.. I'm not sure if they're dating, but as far as I know they're just talking. I'm not over him, & if I'm not busy doing something, he comes to mind & I start to get depressed. What do my dreams mean? How can I be happy again in the mean time?

[Cat1864]

The dreams don't mean anything other than he is on your mind. The break up is still new to you and the hurt is still fresh. As you let go and heal, the dreams will fade or not seem so important.

You are doing the right thing by not being in contact with him. It will help keep false hope from growing.

Give yourself time and ways to stay busy. It may not seem like it right now, but it will get better.