[morea_311]

I met this girl at a party (18 y/o, I'm 25) and we hit it off. I took her on a couple dates and learned about a few things which will be important later in the story (ie, she's moving out of state in a few months, recently decided to cut contact with a guy who'd been stringing her along, and she was leaving for CA to spend the holidays with her family). We went out the night before she was to leave for the holidays (spending 10 days with family) and ended up spending the next 31 hours together kissing, cuddling, and having a great time. We talked 3-4 times while she was gone and the conversations was always along the lines, of "I miss you", " Can't wait to see you" (from both of us). I was going to be out of town when she got back and knew this so I wanted to leave a little surprise for her to find when she got home. Her favorite flower is a sunflower so I arranged a nice vase with a couple in it and bought some chocolates. I wrote a poem (mostly about sunflowers but highlighting something's about her personality that sunflowers share) kind of gay I know, but it came easy and turned out really good so I figured she'd appreciate the gesture. When she got the gifts, she sent a text telling me how much she loved them and that she'd see me soon! Well, I got back in town and asked about seeing her that night. She said she was really busy over the next couple days, but asked if the following Thursday would work. I said okay, then didn't contact her until then. When I told her I would be by around 7 to pick her up, she said, "You know I really like you sweetheart, but I need a week...Please understand" WTH? Where did that come from? I replied and said. "OK...? Kinda confused but whatever. Let me know when you want to have some fun." She didn't reply and since I've had NC with her. This is a new relationship and I understand I should care less than I do, but I really like her. I've had several relationships but the few dates we've been on have by far been the most fulfilling for me. I realize my problem is I'm deeply infatuated with her to a degree beyond what I've felt for previous girlfriends even after months of dating. Her best friend told me that she's never been treated like I treat her by a guy and even though she absolutely loves it she's afraid of getting attached because it will make her leaving that much harder.
My Questions:
-I don't want to be out of this girls life. Is NC the best idea? Should I let her contact me?
-Did my gift send the wrong message (that's when she started to be more disconnected)
-She's got 2 solid months before she leaves and she'll only be gone for 6 months, why wouldn't she want to spend those 2 months having a great time and getting to know me better?
-If she doesn't want to risk attachment, what can I do to make her feel like I'm not pressuring her into anything serious?
-I like her, and would love to be with her, but if I don't hear from her in a week should I interpret that as she definitely doesn't feel the same and cut all ties?
I'm sorry if this sounds pathetic... even after reading it I feel like this is something I am getting myself way too worked up about. But the connection I felt was so powerful and I really don't want to lose it. Especially this soon.

[Devorameira]

My Questions:
-I don't want to be out of this girls life. Is NC the best idea? Should I let her contact me?

She knows that you care about her and want to see her, so you need to leave the ball in her court and wait for her to make the next move.

-Did my gift send the wrong message (that's when she started to be more disconnected)

I thought your gift was really sweet, but it's possible that she was feeling a little pressured getting it so early in the relationship.

-She's got 2 solid months before she leaves and she'll only be gone for 6 months, why wouldn't she want to spend those 2 months having a great time and getting to know me better?

It's possible that she's still got feelings for the ex... it's really hard to say. Also she may be feeling like it's useless to get really involved with you since she is leaving.

-If she doesn't want to risk attachment, what can I do to make her feel like I'm not pressuring her into anything serious?

IF she contacts you, talk to her and tell her what you're telling us. Ask her if she's feeling pressured.

-I like her, and would love to be with her, but if I don't hear from her in a week should I interpret that as she definitely doesn't feel the same and cut all ties?

I'd give it a couple weeks, then you might give her one last call. Whatever you do, don't come across as desperate. If she seems disinterested then, it will be time to move on.

[Answerve]

1. Yes, No Contect is the best idea. Wait for her to talk to you.
2. Your gift was fine, maybe a little gushy, but some girls like that. Its part of who you are, so don't be ashamed.
3. A lot of times, people find it easier to avoid intimacy in order to avoid the hurt of losing that intimacy. She's just trying to avoid getting hurt or hurting you. Trust me, happens all the time.
4. Wait for her to contact you. That would be the easiest way. Don't freak out and get all "OMG I NEED YOU". Clingy is not the image you need at this point.
5. Yeah man, I'm not going to lie. I've been in this situation before, and I don't think she's going to call. That said, your best chance of her calling is to leave her alone and let her call. You can't force people to get over their fears or reservations about intimacy, especially not in two months. Just take it easy, relax, and start trying to think of her as just a friend.