[Young_Naive]

Ive been in a r/ship for 2yrs but recently my ex & I have gotten into contact! We got together when I was pretty young and he broke my heart, finished it and I was devastated! He was big into his parties and stuff and has had 2gfs since and is still in a steady r/ship. I think about him every single day of my life he's still friends with my bro too & I'd be friends with his sis.
A couple of months ago I text him, as I do every now and again just general chit chat and I was amazed when he poured his heart out to me.. told me it was the stupidest ting he ever done letting me go back then. He thinks about me every day and still loves me. We're broke up almost 3 1/2yrs . But my feelings for him are just as strong. We were txtn every day for more then a week all day long talking about the good days-even during the xmas hols. We were talking about giving things another go maybe in the new yr and met up and spoke about it - we will probably hurt people but we're still madly in love! Over the xmas he & the girlfriend broke up... we were txtn everyday I felt sorry for him as she told him to pack his bags(they had a big fight when he was drunk) . But all of a sudden I don't hear from him now I'm guessin they've got back together I wished him a happy new yr & that was it nothing since. I am going insane thinking of him. How do I cope? Feel so guilty towards my current boyfriend too. Please give me advice, should I text him again or wait until he returns to work so I know he's not with her. I'm very weak when it comes to holding back from txtn he often may not reply to me, but I can't help it.

[LightCross]

Here is my opinion
First of all I want you to identify ur feelings. From your descriptions above your ex contacted you again after long time, after such long time being absent from each other of course you both will miss each other so much, and based on my experiences sometimes people can mistook this 'missing each other feeling' as love, at least that is what I can say. I will give 2 possible outcome here :
1. You just miss him , miss his companion, his friendships but not love him.
2. You do love him
Of course you must somehow ask him to identify his feelings also whether he just miss your friendship,joke and all or love you.

At least that is one of the most important thing I think you should do, the other one being your current partner and his current partner.
Well let's accept the fact here that now you both have your own current partner, I want to ask you whether you want to 'sacrifice' your current partner and go for your ex and being somehow a little 'egoist'? And ofc this question apply to your ex too. If both of you were to consent with all the conditionand ready to accept all the consequences then you can go back to your ex. The main point I am trying to tell you here is you looking this matter from wrong point of view.

The question you should ask is not 'what should I do should I call him or wait for him till work finish?'but 'are you willing to go for him that much and make your current partner hurt of being abandoned by you?' and 'does your ex willing to let go of his current partner also to go with you?' because no matter how I look at it somebody will get hurt here as you both have your own current partners now, but ofc in the end it is your decision I am just telling you what options you have

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

If you are so all fired up by the ex, why don't you, at least tell your current guy that you no longer can be with him. It only takes some honesty, something you seem to be short on, since you are already lying and cheating on him with an ex that dumped you before, and is going behind his girls back with you.

Neither of you cares about anyone but yourselves, and are both lousy partners who just want to have someone for the sake of having them. That's not love, at least not a healthy one, and you both deserve each other.

He was having trouble with his relationship so he called you with his confession, instead of doing the right thing and resolving his issues with her. Go ahead, he dumped you once, and will do it again given the chance when something better comes along.

Where does that leave you? Dumped and devastated again. You learned nothing before, and seems you are so ready to repeat your past mistakes. You need to think about your own actions, instead of wondering about his.

[Young_Naive]

What I really need to ask myself is, will I regret wondering what it would have been like if we did give it another go?. or will it be worse if things don't work out again. I need to weigh up which situation would be worse for me. At the moment I'm leaning towards the fact that life is too god damn short to live the rest of my years wondering,- there's always being a spark between us. I think now that the new year is here, my r/ship with my current boyfriend will crumble and things will just fall into place for myself & my ex as the year progresses. My current boyfriend is all very safe he loves me & I love him but there's the inner part of me wanting excitement before I grow old & settle( I'm only 22, and he's 31) with a mortgage, steady and a child from previous r/ship... he can never leave the country, travel etc when I graduate from college this yr! I think the commitment thing is beginning to scare me and my ex is what's exciting me so much.. I've always loved him but just tried to block out the feeling!
I know I may be hurt again but if this is the case id rather take than chance rather than living with regret and thinking about what could have been? When you have a bond with your first love like this it is very hard to ignore it. Thanks to both of you for being so honest , really appreciate it!

[LightCross]

My current boyfriend is all very safe he loves me & I love him but there's the inner part of me wanting excitement before I grow old & settle

Frankly speaking I have to disagree with you on this, I believe there is always purpose and foundation for healthy relationship, and w/e it is I believe that a healthy relationship is not a relationship that being created by 'looking for excitement' as one main part of the foundation.Ur sentence here stated clearly that you seek excitement you got from your ex, and just my guessing but your current BF right now is not be able to give the same lvel of excitement you used to get from your ex which satisfied your standard. Excitement is only one 'spice' of relationship, only that , it shouldn't be either foundation or a reason to seek relationship with someone, if you enter relationship with someone with excitement being one of the main reason that drove you to do it you'd never experience healthy relationship.