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    Chelles's Avatar
    Chelles Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 3, 2011, 05:54 PM
    Im married with 4 children and I want out of my relationship and my family commitment
    Im in my second marriage and have 4 children, two to my current partner. I love my kids and I love the security my husband brings, but I've had enough, I want out. How do I do this?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 3, 2011, 05:58 PM

    May I ask, what do you mean by "had enough"? Enough of what?

    "How do I do this?" means "How do I dare do this"?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Jan 3, 2011, 06:10 PM

    If you want out you file for divorce.

    You've been there already. You just follow the same steps you did in your first divorce.
    Chelles's Avatar
    Chelles Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jan 3, 2011, 06:37 PM
    Comment on Wondergirl's post
    Ive had enough of being a parent and the responsible one.
    And Yes How do I do it - I mean my parents, my family, my friends everyone will think there is something wrong with me, especially when I say Im happy for him to have the kids
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #5

    Jan 3, 2011, 07:08 PM

    How old are the kids?

    He doesn't help?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #6

    Jan 3, 2011, 07:15 PM

    You're willing to give up the kids? Why?

    If you want no part of parenting your children than you divorce him, you give custody to him, you move out, support yourself and pay child support for your kids.

    This is up to you.

    Have your really thought this over? Are you really willing to just walk away from not only your husband, but your kids as well?
    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
    Networking Expert
     
    #7

    Jan 3, 2011, 07:40 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Chelles View Post
    Ive had enough of being a parent
    You don't just get to walk away because you've had enough. You gave birth to these children and you owe it to them to stay in their lives (with or without your husband). I can't believe you can walk away from your children just because you don't feel like being a parent anymore.
    CinnamonBrownie's Avatar
    CinnamonBrownie Posts: 45, Reputation: 13
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Jan 3, 2011, 07:53 PM
    Well, I'm confounded that you'd want to leave your own children. But since you apparently do (or maybe you're possible just blowing off some steam?) then how does your husband feel about the possibility of taking custody of your children? The reason I ask, even though I honestly find the thought that you possible wouldn't want your own children to be objectionable, is that if you really feel that way -- maybe the kids really would be better off with your husband. They need to be with someone who loves them.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Jan 3, 2011, 08:06 PM

    You file for divorce and do not ask for custody of the kids, you just walk away,

    I want to saw so much more, but would have to give myself a warning for saying those words.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #10

    Jan 3, 2011, 08:36 PM

    I think you need to give some more background information. Starting with how old everyone is and what exactly you expect to happen if you walk away. What is happening now that has you believing that walking away is better than staying? Where do your older children live? Did you walk out of your previous relationships? Do you intend to make a habit out of this behavior? Do you intend to still be a mother after you leave? Have you talked to your husband about this or is he in the dark thinking that everything is great?

    I am going to suggest that you sit down with a therapist/counselor and take a long hard look at the reality of what you want to do instead of chasing a fantasy life. Your children deserve to know that their mother didn't just leave them behind because she wanted to. They deserve to know that she tried to figure out why she wouldn't stay with them. They deserve to know that she gave it more thought than 'I want a new life.'
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
    Business Expert
     
    #11

    Jan 3, 2011, 09:03 PM

    I can not believe that you simply want to just walk away from your children.

    I agree there has to be more...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Jan 3, 2011, 10:25 PM

    Pack a bag and just leave. What's so hard about that??
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #13

    Jan 4, 2011, 12:44 AM

    Chelles, could you be suffering from depression?
    CinnamonBrownie's Avatar
    CinnamonBrownie Posts: 45, Reputation: 13
    Junior Member
     
    #14

    Jan 4, 2011, 01:27 AM
    Comment on J_9's post
    Interesting. That possibility hadn't occurred to me.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #15

    Jan 4, 2011, 01:31 AM

    It's very simple. Many people who are depressed want a way out from all of their responsibilities. They want to live life on their own terms for a while.

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