[woreddad11]

My four year old son tells me that his moms boyfriend spanks him and is mean to him when mother is not around. My son has also stated that the boyfriend has poked him in the chest with a knife. So I am thinking about not letting my son back to his mother but I fear the consequences for keeping him. What should I do?

[ScottGem]

You can't keep your son beyond what's court ordered. This can hurt your chances of custody. If you feel that your son is in danger, you report it to family services. You can also file for an ex parte emergency custody hearing, but you will need proof beyond your son's word.

[excon]

Hello w:

Go read this thread... This lady is in similar circumstances, and you face many of the same problems..

You need the services of a family lawyer.

excon

[ChickyBaby]

Ps. How old is your son? In NJ at 12 years old the judge can ask a minor child where he wants to live. :)

[AK lawyer]

Ps. How old is your son? In NJ at 12 years old the judge can ask a minor child where he wants to live. :)

Reading is fundamental. OP said the boy is four.

It's not a matter of what the child wants. Note that something like the Stockholm syndrome may tend to apply in cases of abuse. If his step-father is abusing him and a change in custody would be in his best interest, the change should be ordered regardless of his wishes.

[cdad]

Ps. How old is your son? In NJ at 12 years old the judge can ask a minor child where he wants to live. :)

Do you have a link to the law that states this?

[ScottGem]

Comments on this post
ChickyBaby does not find this helpful : Well it not unhelp full... but you don't need to be a nasty person. I was only giving an example because state laws are different. However you seem to give advise on the law in every state, even though you are a lawyer from Florida. Interesting.

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

Unless you can show that an answer was factually incorrect, or misleading then giving a negative rating is not appropriate.

Second, you have already been informed that this is a forum on law. We hold answers here to a higher standard. Responses must conform to actual statute and you need to be able to back them up. So please cite a NJ statute that supports your contention about a judge asking a 12 yr old.

As noted, even if NJ statute does allow a judge to interview a 12 yr old, that does not mean the judge will listen to the 12 yr old's wishes. In ALL US states a court is charged with making a custody decision based on the court's determination of the best interests of the child. The court may or may not talk to an listen to the child, but the decision rests with the court.

Finally the question was whether the OP could refuse to return the child. Your response, even if accurate, does not address that question. The correct answer is he cannot refuse to return the child without risking legal sanctions, that he has to go through the courts to change custody.

[ChickyBaby]

I love it how everyone gives legal advise. 1 state laws vary. 2 you should speak to lawyer... as they are the only ones who can give expert legal advise.
Oh and my aunt is a social worker in Nj.

[ScottGem]

I love it how everyone gives legal advise. 1 state laws vary. 2 you should speak to lawyer...as they are the only ones who can give expert legal advise.
Oh and my aunt is a social worker in Nj.

And you aren't giving legal advise? Ever heard the expression about the pot calling the kettle black?

Yes it is true that state laws vary, which is why citing the law in one state when you don't know where the OP is is not helpful. And an attorney is not the only one who can give expert legal advice. A person will get the best advice from a consult with a local attorney, but you don't have to be an attorney to know, understand and cite statutes.

Are we supposed to be impressed that your aunt is a social worker in NJ? If so, then why didn't you ask her to give you a cite for the law you referred to?

I will tell you again, that this site has rules and you either play by those rules or further action will be taken.