[LostPuzzlePiece]

I am 30 years old and have been wrestling with this issue for many years. I believe in being direct and have asked both of my parents about wheather I was adopted. My mom and dad divorced when I was about 4 and I have constant contact with my mother & lost all contact with my father back in 2004. Every time I ask the question, it is immediately avoided and the subject changed. There are zero pics of me as a baby, the earliest are of me at approx 1-1 1/2. I have 3 siblings and there are massive amounts of photos of all of them including while my mother was pregnant with them. I have even gone so far as to ask every other family member I have and the same avoidence occurs. I love my family very much and wouldn't trade them for anything. But I feel and have always felt that there was a part of me missing. I now have 3 children of my own & I simply have to find the truth. Any help or suggestions? I would be so very grateful. Thank You

[Capuchin]

I think it's obvious from their avoidance what the answer is, so what is missing?

[LostPuzzlePiece]

I agree but, where or how do I begin to find the true answer when nobody will even give me the smallest detail to start with?

[Synnen]

If they will not give you ANY information, there may not be a single thing you can do to get information.

Your birth certificate will show your adoptive parents IF you are adopted.

Have you sat with your family and told them that you are not trying to replace them, but you want to know for your own peace of mind?

Please keep in mind that sometimes secrets are kept for OTHER reasons--to protect the birthparents, for example. You may find out that you are a younger aunt's or older sister's child, or the product of rape, or that you really ARE one parent's child, but not the other's due to infidelity.

So--they may not talk about it because they are saving someone ELSE from going through the pain AGAIN.

I believe adopted children should KNOW they are adopted, but there are plenty of reasons that aren't about you for not telling.

[Fr_Chuck]

First if they have not said no, perhaps they are hurt that you asked to start with, plus you now say, "everytime I ask" so you are hounding them to hear the answer you want to hear that you are for some reason.

Why in God's name does it even matter.

But the thing is there is no way to prove it, have you asked aunts and uncles, have you asked cousins, old family friends. And more.

Ok one way wild ID, your birth certificate will show what hospital and what doctor did the birth, ( they don't change those) but when adopted they merely put your adoptive parents name as the birth parents on the birth certificate.

So if it shows you were born in Ohio and your family always lived in Georgia, that is one "hint"

Also 30 years ago, they often still posted births and hospital admision in the news paper ( yea they really did back then) so look up news paper records from the city where the hospital is where you were born.

And of course if you have to, sneak a few hairs from your mom's hair brush and send it off for a DNA test.

But there are a 100 possible issues, during the time of your birth, money was tight and they could not afford as many photos.

Perhaps they were having marriage issue at the time, and photos did not happen.

Perhaps your mom had an affair and you are her child's but not your fathers, and he knew and you were a issue to the marriage.

Perhaps a close family member got preganant as a teen and they adopted you and were hiding the family secret

And I could go on and on and on with maybes