[mocha81]

I will be 19 years old in 3 weeks and I've been obsessed with getting pregnant. I've been wanting a baby since I was 16. Sometimes I look at my stomach and pretend I'm pregnant. I put myself in some fantasy world. I'm just wondering if this has happened to any other person and how I can deal with this. I don't want to go out with someone just to get pregnant. I would never trick someone into getting pregnant. I know I'm still young and I should just wait till it comes along and I am. I just want advice on how I can deal with it until the right time comes for me.

[KMSRyana]

Becoming a parent changes EVERYTHING. Understand that being a parent is a wonderful thing, but the responsibilities you will have are tremendous. You are not just responsible for yourself, but for another life. You need to consider things like how able you are to find a job that not only supports yourself, but a child. You have to consider things like medical costs for both of you, food, and clothing. Daycare is very expensive these days, and if you are a single parent it can be hard to handle all of the above. Your personal life also changes quite a bit. Your every waking moment (and quite a bit while you thought you were going to finally rest) will be spent taking care of your child.

You need to consider these things, and many others... like where are you going to live. Basically, I'm trying to tell you to not rush into something you want. Maybe start with a plan of sorts. Making sure you first have a job that provides a good medical plan, and enough income that you are able to save on a monthly basis. Once the baby comes, being able to save will be near impossible. Getting pregnant is pretty easy ( unless, of course you aren't able to have children ), it's the being a good and responsible parent that's the tough part.

Good luck.

[buggage]

Very good posting KMSRyana. Also you need to consider that having a child isn't all fun and games. There will be so many nights that go by that you don't get a full hour of sleep between waking up with them, all night long. There will be times where they cry and cry and you have no way of knowing why, and no way of stoping it. You just have to be patient and ride it out. Being a parent is a completely unselfish job. That means, you can't go out and do the things you use to do, because you want to do it. You child always comes first. And its not something that you can just leave at the door step when you get home. Being a parent is a 24/7 for the rest of your life job, where you don't always get much appreciation in return. It is such a wonderful wonderful thing, I have a 2 year old son, and another boy on the way, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I couldn't imagine life without them, I wouldn't want life without them. BUT you must understand how much hard work it is, and you must be ready for it. Because once you become one, there is no turning back. For your child's sake, you must be the best you can be.

[citygirl00]

I will be 19 years old in 3 weeks and I've been obsessed with getting pregnant. I've been wanting a baby since I was 16. Sometimes I look at my stomach and pretend I'm pregnant. I put myself in some fantasy world. I'm just wondering if this has happened to any other person and how I can deal with this. I don't want to go out with someone just to get pregnant. I would never trick someone into getting pregnant. I know I'm still young and I should just wait till it comes along and I am. I just want advice on how I can deal with it until the right time comes for me.

I am exactly the same and have been since I was 13 and I am also having big trouble dealing with it. Each month when my period comes I get upset I’m not pregnant. I’ve been looking for a solution but none have arisen yet. I just hope it helps you knowing that there are people out there feeling exactly the same.

[buggage]

citygirl00 and Mocha81, it is normal to want a baby so badly. I don't think that there are many young girls that want to grow up to be a mommy. BUT until you are settled down in a strong marriage, and hubby has a good job to be able to support the three of u, in case you are no longer able to work during your pregnancy, and chose to stay home with your kids, then you shouldn't even consider pregnancy. It would be entirely unfair to the child. And before you get yourselves pregnant, you need to stop to consider your life. Once a baby comes, lots of changes will happen, and your entire lifestyle will change. Anywhere you go, baby goes too. That limits a lot of things you can do. Once you become mommy, your adolecence is left behind you. Adulthood is the only route. You better be prepared to accept that.

[mocha81]

I am exactly the same and have been since I was 13 and I am also having big trouble dealing with it. Each month when my period comes I get upset I’m not pregnant. I’ve been looking for a solution but none have arisen yet. I just hope it helps you knowing that there are people out there feeling exactly the same.

Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one.

[J_9]

No you aren't the only one. One suggestion would be to volunteer your time at a children's hospital where babies need fed, or just held.

You are way too young right now to have a baby, and you know it or you would not be here, right?

Why not fulfill yourself by helping those that need help and not tie yourself down for the rest of your life right now?

Just a thought

[mocha81]

I have spent time as a co-op student in a daycare that was located at my high school, when I was in high school. (I graduated). I have 3 nephews and a niece, I have babysitted a lot. I have no problem taking care of a child. So that isn't an issue. My original question wasn't if I was ready or not ( like the most of you are answering). My question was , how can I get over wanting a baby so bad, without having one now. I know I want to have my career in which I'm going to college in the fall. After a few years I want one.. maybe around 22 or 23. I am 18, turning 19 in 3 weeks. I know I want to wait till then.

[kholloway]

Then just keep in mind that you will have them some day. It's okay to start thinking of names for them and stuff like that. There is nothing wrong with thinking about babies and wanting one. Just as long as you don't go and have one when you aren't ready to. All I could think about since I was a little girl, was being a wife and mother. I am not a very happy wife, and baby #1 is on its way and will be here in July. It feels so good knowing that I waited and did it the right way. (right way for me, not for everyone). You can think about babies all you want and it doesn't hurt anything. Since you want to stop thinking about them, just know in your heart that you will have a baby when the time is right. I hope this helps!

[Tuscany]

I have spent time as a co-op student in a daycare that was located at my high school, when I was in high school. (I graduated). I have 3 nephews and a niece, I have babysitted a lot. I have no problem taking care of a child. so that isn't an issue. My original question wasn't if I was ready or not ( like the most of you are answering). My question was , how can I get over wanting a baby so bad, without having one now. I know I want to have my career in which I'm going to college in the fall. after a few years I want one.. maybe around 22 or 23. I am 18, turning 19 in 3 weeks. I know I want to wait till then.

I think you should take J-9's advice then. Spending time with the babies at the hospital might be just what you need to ease the wanting of a child. You can do some of the fun things (feeding, holding, loving) and then go home and still work on getting your career started. Not only that volunteering will make you feel good.

[KMSRyana]

I think you should take J-9's advice then. Spending time with the babies at the hospital might be just what you need to ease the wanting of a child.

And if you can find a way to watch some movies of a C-section or view some deliveries it might calm you "urges" for a little while.

[buggage]

You siad you are going to college soon. Perhaps you could put this passion towards a degree as a ob/gyn. Then you can help women through their pregnancies and deliver baby's all the time. The world is always in need of another good ob/gyn that really loves their work

[mocha81]

I think the reason I really want a baby more then ever right now is because I'm having problems with my period where I didn't have it for over 5 months so I went to see the doctor and gyno and blood tests and all this stuff and went on birth control. I guess I'm just so afraid of not being able to get pregnant. I have my periods now with the pill but it's not how it used to be. And because I don't have a family doctor I don't get any follow ups.

[missingmotherhood]

I am pretty much in the same shoes as you are instead I am where you what to be. I am 21 and I will be 22 in may/07. I have been pregnant wice before the first time I got an abortion because I was to young and I regret it to this day and the second time I had a stillbirth and I have been trying every since. I think that I want it so bad its not going to happen. Just be patient. I think that I have finally made it to motherhood. I am 3 days late and most of the symptoms. So like someone said above volunteer your time. Occupy your time basically. Don't just sit at home. When the time is right then it will happen. But I am a perfect example of it is better said then done.

Good luck

[citygirl00]

No you aren't the only one. One suggestion would be to volunteer your time at a children's hospital where babies need fed, or just held.

You are way too young right now to have a baby, and you know it or you would not be here, right?

Why not fulfill yourself by helping those that need help and not tie yourself down for the rest of your life right now?!

Just a thought

I'm a nursery assistant and am around children and babies all the time; this doesn't stop broodiness at all. I know I'm not ready to have a child yet and that's why I find my emotions so difficult to deal with. Believe me you can't have any idea what it's like to be this broody or other wise you wouldn't suggest such things. I've tried the whole lot I've even tried putting all my focus on finding myself a great new job and find myself a place but it doesn't stop the feelings. You could tell me all the horror stories you like about having children and how stressful and hard it is but it really doesn't help these feelings, I've recently considered going to a councillor to see if they can help but I'm sure their going to tell me everything I've tried before. I'm not going to go off and get myself pregnant, I'm not ready and it wouldn't be fair on the child. Can anybody tell me and mocha81 something helpful and not give us lectures because they are no help.

[mocha81]

I'm a nursery assistant and am around children and babies all the time; this doesn't stop broodiness at all. I know I’m not ready to have a child yet and that’s why I find my emotions so difficult to deal with. Believe me you can't have any idea what it's like to be this broody or other wise you wouldn't suggest such things. I’ve tried the whole lot I’ve even tried putting all my focus on finding my self a great new job and find my self a place but it doesn't stop the feelings. You could tell me all the horror stories you like about having children and how stressful and hard it is but it really doesn't help these feelings, I’ve recently considered going to a councillor to see if they can help but I’m sure their going to tell me everything I’ve tried before. I'm not going to go off and get myself pregnant, I’m not ready and it wouldn't be fair on the child. Can anybody tell me and mocha81 something helpful and not give me lectures because they are no help
.

Exactly! We get each other. I always thought of being a nurse for babies but then seeing other people have babies, every day of my life and knowing it's not me. That will hurt me a lot.

[J_9]

Believe me you can't have any idea what it's like to be this broody or other wise you wouldn't suggest such things.

Actually, yes I can. I was not a nursery assistant at 22 years of age, I was a licensed/certified and bonded day care teacher of 20 2 year olds. This is when I became pregnant with my first child. So, please don't tell me that I don't have any idea because I am sure I have much more experience under my belt than you do! This was a suggestion that works for many people, not all.

I find my emotions so difficult to deal with.

Difficulty with emotions is normal at any stage in life. Here let me tell you. I am 42, I have had 4 children. I have had cancer, bilateral mastectomy and chemotherapy. I still would LOVE to have more children. But it is dangerous to me, and dangerous to any child I might carry. So, I understand how hard emotions are to deal with.

Believe me you can't have any idea what it's like to be this broody or other wise you wouldn't suggest such things.

Yes, I have an idea, read the answer above.

You could tell me all the horror stories you like about having children and how stressful and hard it is but it really doesn't help these feelings

Yes, you are right. Unless you have lived it personally, you can't understand, especially since you already seem to know it all.

I'm not going to go off and get myself pregnant, I'm not ready and it wouldn't be fair on the child.

You are a VERY smart woman to understand that. Many young women believe they are bulletproof. At least you understand the consequences.

Now, please do not lecture me on what I do and do not understand. I have many more years on you and many more life experiences. You have no idea whether I have ever felt this way or not.

Oh, yeah, one other thing. How do you know I don't feel that way right now? Huh? How? You don't, so don't lecture me. I DO feel the same way as these other girls. I would LOVE to have more children. I would love to have 6 or 8, but I CAN'T. It is no longer possible for me because of my cancer and chemo condition. Don't you think that is more painful than knowing one day I could have one but I am not "ready" now. Yes, it is much more painful knowing every day that I will NEVER have another child to hold and cuddle and love and raise.

So, since I CAN'T have children, I spend my time volunteering at local hospitals in the nurseries of premature babies who need a little extra love and affection. At least that helps me through my pain for a short while.

[J_9]

exactly! we get each other. I always thought of being a nurse for babies but then seeing other people have babies, every day of my life and knowing it's not me. That will hurt me a lot.

See, Mocha, you will be able to have one someday. I CAN'T have any anymore. So this is how I handle the pain of knowing I will never have another one. I volunteer. It takes the pain away for a little bit anyway.

[citygirl00]

J_9 : I am sorry about your situation, it must be hard, you must be really proud of your children. But your lucky though you have got a child, 4 in fact, many of my family can't have children and that worries me too (it maybe hereditary). I just know that in my experience being around children makes no difference and if I was to find out that like many of my family I couldn't have children I would find it very painful looking after children and knowing I would never have my own.

[citygirl00]

exactly! we get each other. I always thought of being a nurse for babies but then seeing other people have babies, every day of my life and knowing it's not me. That will hurt me a lot.

It does hurt. Recently one of my friends have fallen pregnant, I am delighted for her but also a little jealous. Don't get me wrong I’m not ready for a child but the feelings still stand. I wish there was a cure it a bottle!