[Leolie]

I met him about 2007 or so we've known each other through the net. We chatted, laughed, cried.. etc... He was my first best friend and at the age of 17-18 or so.. (yes, I don't like to have attachments to friends)

but then everything got ****ty cause I fell in love with him, but I tired to ignore it thinking that he may be straight, but when I found out he was bi, I thought I could have a chance... but he found someone else.. well he was having crush modes to random people... and I ended up acting all sad depressed and jealous, but I tried and still act like his best...

so, fast forward... I made a joke, and it kind of pissed him off... basically he said something that is still in my message archives and that I let my pride get in the way too much...

but, I kind of was glad about it, cause it made me get the space I wanted from him, and now I think I miss him... but I don't want to talk to him cause I'm scared... maybe its because of my pride but... I don't know...

I want to be friends with him but I think, I'd interrupt his happy life now... and I don't want to be selfish, and ruin it again.. but... I just want to say I'm sorry

[SweetDee]

Hmmm, this question was asked in Dec. and no one answered. I wonder whyyyyy.

First question I have is WHY don't you like to have attachments with friends?

You also didn't give any information into the joke you make and how your pride got in your way... so your too vague. How can anyone help you out if you don't give deets. I mean you're anonymous here...

I think you shouldn't worry about interupting "his happy life" and instead put your concern into making your life more full and too busy for making close internet "friends".

You're worth it you know. Look into some hobbies that you can do with other people AND some you can do alone (if in case you're feeling antisocial).

There are social hobbies like tennis, dance, art... etc (check this site for hobby ideas if you need). There are also antisocial hobbies like guitar (plus other instruments, even beat box and DJ-ing), painting (the arts), etc...

I think that having internet friends isn't the end of the world(assuming you don't risk meeting any of them and you keep it STRICTLY on line). You have to be the kind of person who doesn't take it too seriously. It's unhealthy... (never mind that it's unsafe).

I do not think it's a good idea get caught up with internet people. Too many kids have been killed meeting their internet friend.

If you are one of the many kids that I know that keep their internet relationships strictly on line and not in their REAL LIVES then I would repeat that you need to balance your feelings about him and not let his needs be more important than your own.

Just be friends ON LINE and don't worry so much about "ruining things and jokes that piss him off". If you can't joke with someone then maybe he's no friend. Maybe he doesn't appreciate your humor. Don't you want a best friend that DOES?

I know you have known him since 2007 and you feel he's a close friend due to how long you've known him but honestly... he doesn't sound like such a good friend.

If you can't be who you are with the people you call your friends, then who can you be yourself around?

Stick to REAL LIFE friends. If you don't have any then make it your New Years resolution to make new ones.

REINVENT YOURSELF!! What have you got to lose. Change your mind about having attachments to friends and make new ones in your REAL LIFE.

Go for it. Risk it. You're probably a fantastic kid! <3 xo

[Leolie]

I don't like to have too many friends... well I DO have so many friends, but not close ones... I guess I'm kind of guarded with them...

The joke was when he said "Im getting fat" and I said "if you call yourself fat *he was skinny* then what the heck do you call me:)*im fat*" up to the point that it became from a friendly banter into an argument were I kid around while he tried to manipulate me into saying sorry or such, and at that point I was sick of everything(stress and lot of thing going on). But I still teased him "fat thing"... it ended into him saying

"look, as much as short-tempered and a fighter as i am, FINE, SORRY THAT I SAID ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS TO YOU RIGHT AFTER YOU CALLED ME 'FAT'. I mean that sincerely. I don't want to continue fighting. I can't think. And I'm satisfied that I said sorry on my behalf. And in that note, I can have a clear mind of not talking or replying anymore no matter how you take such a "simple" insult. I may have blown it out of proportion, but it was your lack of courtesy that has done it so. Still I'll apologize because I don't give a damn who wins. All i know is that I'm hurt. Like it or not. Truth be told. geh".

After that we drifted apart, I kind of liked the space of him not pming me just to rant rant rant, while I was still getting over him...

Though now, well I still don't have a clear mind of the situation, I want to have proper closure or something...

:(