[Cristina1984]

Hy, I'm 26.. And for almost 2years I ve been leaving with my boyfriend, everything is OK except for the fact that he likes to chat with other woman, some of them ones that he even used to date I asked him why he feels the need to do this and he tells me that is part of personality and as long ad he is not seeing them he's OK.. And is my fault I don't trust him.

[Leolie]

that just twisted... o,o

but anyhow... I think what your saying is that... You trust your man but you don't trust the woman he's talking with...

=,= personally I think he just wants an ego rub...

have you guys talked about it?. I mean how it makes you uncomfortable when he talks with them?

[answerme_tender]

I agree its an ego thing for him, if he doesn't want to stop then start talking to your old boyfriends, and see if he is okay with that.

[Jake2008]

So what are you, chopped liver?

That he is chatting up women online, would not be okay in my book, particularly old girlfriends. To chat about their lives, their jobs, their relationships, their children, etc. is building a relationship. Why would he want to build relationships with women online would be my question.

A quick 'hi, how are ya' is one thing. But continued conversations have to have some substance to keep them going. Have you ever been left standing with a person you once knew 10 years ago, alone at a party, and struggled to have a conversation? That is one thing. But, to keep the conversation going, then add him to your IM or Facebook, and continue talking and learning about each other is something quite different. It has then become a relationship. There are active steps you have to take to continue talking to somebody that you apparently have no interest in.

In my opinion, it is inappropriate.

[Cat1864]

I think you need to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss why you have issues with him chatting with other women and I think you need to listen to his side. Then together you need to set boundaries for what is acceptable behavior for both of you not only in cyberspace but in real life. The boundaries might include being open about who he is communicating with and the type of communication (catching up, flirting, etc.) You should be able to let him know when he gets close to the lines of unacceptable behavior (agreed on by both of you) and he should be willing to pull back. If he is unwilling to communicate and compromise, you might have an answer to another question-Can you trust him?

I can't say that chatting with people of the opposite sex is inappropriate because as far as I am concerned a friend is a friend. If I were to worry about my husband chatting with females, then I would have to be concerned about gay and bi-sexual men as well. He would have the right to be upset about the lesbian and bi-sexual females we know. Just because there is a slim possibility of something happening doesn't mean that line would ever be crossed.

Some people are born flirts and it is very much a part of their nature (my husband is one). To some, flirting isn't about sex or conquest. It is about verbal play and word games. Is this how your boyfriend is? Would asking him to totally refrain from flirting change his personality? Is that what you want to happen?

[brigde]

No its not OK , why should he want to talk to other wiman , is your relashinship not strong anough , he, I think is keeping his options open.. sorry but , no way..

[lakmal10210]

No I don't think its good