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JaneQuintanilla · Dec 19, 2010, 12:31 PM

So me and this guy had sex a week ago and we used a condom, I don't think it broke or anything. We were really close friends and we have had sex a couple times before, but after this time, he just stopped talking to me. I am wondering why. But my body has been feeling really weird and Ive been sleeping a lot more than I usually do. My mom was telling me that when she was pregnant, within the first week she was extreamly tired. My friend was telling me that I might be pregnant and the reason why the guy could have stopped talking to me was because the condom broke and he doesn't want to tell me and just trying to avoid me. I asked him why we haven't been talking since and he just ignored me. I don't have time to go to a clinic or to buy a test. I just want to know if I could have felt the condom break or if there is a chance that I could be pregnant. Thank you (:

Fr_Chuck · Dec 19, 2010, 12:39 PM

Even using a condom there is still a chance, while very small they do have a normal failure rate,

And if they broke, then it was no protection at all, and as people normally use them, what little records there are, they estimate about a 10 percent failure rate.

And of course if he knew it broke and would not tell you, to allow you to find or use other birth control, he is not a friend at all.

But your body really should not be showing any signs at this point, and it wll could be stress or depressional from the way this boy is acting.

Thus the reason, if you are not ready to be a mommy, you don't need to be having sex.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 19, 2010, 12:49 PM

If all you do is have sex, no talking, no going out and doing other things, if you have limited time together and just do sex now, yes it can ruin a relationship if now it is based on a sexual base and not emotional

JaneQuintanilla · Dec 19, 2010, 01:12 PM

This guy that I have known for going on 5 years now, me and him were the best of friends. Then, last year we had sex a couple of times, and just recently had sex. Right after we had sex, he just stopped talking to me. I would try to talk to him and want to just hang out with him, but he would not...
I just need help moving on because its only been a week since we had sex. I feel so used and abused.

JaneQuintanilla · Dec 19, 2010, 01:16 PM

I think sex can ruin a relationship from past experience. If you are having sex with your boyfriend, then you should make sure that your relationship is not based on sex. Make sure you don't have sex constantly. Switch things up. Like one week, have like a date night and you just go out and have a good time, then the next week just stay in and do what you do. Sex is a very complicated step in a relationship. It can either be a good thing that makes yalls relationship stronger, or it can be the worse thing you decided to do and just completely destroy your relationship. I wish both of you the best of luck!

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2010, 01:19 PM

I'm sorry this happened to you. Being best friends makes it even more tragic.

You're going to have to bite the bullet and stay out of his space. I don't know how often life throws you together (class, sports, organization meetings) -- not much or at all, I hope, which will make it easier to avoid him. It will be the hardest thing you've ever done, but it will get easier over time.

Meanwhile, a few sessions with a counselor might help you talk through your feelings of being used and abused. Or vent here. We're good listeners and might be able to offer some suggestions.

talaniman · Dec 19, 2010, 06:13 PM

I don't have time to go to a clinic or to buy a test.

You better make time for both just to be sure. That would be the mature, safe thing to do. Pregnancy is not something that should catch you by surprise in these enlightened times.

talaniman · Dec 19, 2010, 06:22 PM

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ml#post2637955

he used me

No he didn't. He is afraid you may have gotten pregnant. Guys think of those things too, you know. He probably is waiting for you to tell him for sure you are not pregnant, and will make sure you don't get pregnant if your not. He is afraid. You both must be pretty young, and maybe to young for sex, certainly for the consequences.

Actually you used each other to be honest. I think he is just a young scared kid.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 19, 2010, 08:51 PM

I have tried to combine the 4 different posts to give a better idea what they are talking about

katt86 · Dec 20, 2010, 07:03 AM

I think having a sexual relationship with a friend will never work hun, he may just feel embarrassed about the whole thing. When you say you have not got time to buy a test or visit a clinic I would advise making time because if you end up pregnant you will have to make a whle lot more time for becoming a mum