[lolalynne]

This question is very similar to the question "How do I motivate someone?" But, at the same time, very different.
I've always heard the adage, "Don't try to change your man." My boyfriend, who is also a musician, has trouble motivating himself in every area of his life. I had to take a break from him just so that he would find a job. He found a part-time job at Walmart but he doesn't seem happy with it at all. He tells me that he wants to find a better job, lose weight, and move out of his house but it doesn't seem like he is motivated. I try to lead by example by eating healthy, exercising, actively looking for jobs, and going to school. He does have a lot of obstacles, including: shortage of funds, horrible transportation, and bad work schedule. I try to be understanding. But, it has gotten to the point where I don't know what to do anymore.
What should I do in order to motivate him?:confused:

[phillysteakandcheese]

First - You are not responsible for "fixing" him. You can help, but you aren't his personal life coach.

He has obviously decided what his priorities are and what he wants to do. The adage "Actions speak louder than words" applies here. He can tell you what he wants to do, but if he doesn't do anything to make those things happen, he's blowing hot air.

Lots of people "settle"... The have a job they hate, but it pays enough for them to get by, and they settle for it. They are unhappy in their relationship, but its better than being alone and they settle with the person they've already invested themselves in... Until he awakens to the potential he has and commits to himself to pursue it, he's always going to settle...

The next time he talks about what he wants, tell him to write out a plan on how he is going to get it. Make it a specific plan, with time specific measurements... And kick his butt to follow through on his plan. If he makes the first one or two, he might be motivated to continue the trend.

[Fr_Chuck]

You can not fix him, he is what he is because he wants to be that way. I had a bother in law who lived in a tent at state parks for about 4 years of his life and played in bars and night clubs when he could,

So your choice is do you wish to live and support someone like that forever or do you want better for yourself. That is your choice,