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    Indiangirl14's Avatar
    Indiangirl14 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 13, 2010, 10:23 PM
    Too young to be parents?
    Hi, I'm 21 years old and will be graduating from college with a BS in May. My boyfriend and I would like to have a baby. Are we too young?
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #2

    Dec 14, 2010, 12:10 AM

    If you have to ask, yes.

    Do you both have steady jobs? Already living together? You said boyfriend, why not husband? What's the rush to have a baby? Why not enjoy being out of school for a minute. Travel. Have fun. Relax. Enjoy being young a few more years. Enjoy being a couple out of school for a while.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Dec 14, 2010, 12:18 AM

    I agree with Justcurious, if you have to ask, than yes, you're too young.

    You said you'll be graduating soon. Do you have a job? Does your boyfriend have a job?

    It's not only a question of being good caring parents, it's also a question of whether you can afford a child.

    There's no rush. You have plenty of time. Why not wait, get a job in your field, put some money aside, get married, and then start a family.
    bestbessie's Avatar
    bestbessie Posts: 45, Reputation: 10
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    #4

    Dec 30, 2010, 08:11 PM
    We had a baby when we had $800 in the bank, and a bomby old car, these were our total net assets. We watched all of our friends have lovely weddings, holidays, save money, buy houses, learn new skills, have fun.

    We don't regret having our daughters (we ended up with 2) but our time will come later in our lives, we'll be 45 and able to do all those things our friends were doing. Only we're not so fit and active anymore, and we won't be doing the hip and fun things I would have longed to do.

    So you're 21- go out and do some hip and fun things for goodness sake!!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Dec 30, 2010, 08:20 PM

    Bestbessie, I do agree. We didn't have a lot of money when we had our son. But, I'm in Canada, free health care.

    I'm not sure where you live, but, in the US, just to give birth will cost you upwards of $12,000.
    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
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    #6

    Dec 30, 2010, 08:20 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bestbessie View Post
    We had a baby when we had $800 in the bank, and a bomby old car, these were our total net assets. We watched all of our friends have lovely weddings, holidays, save money, buy houses, learn new skills, have fun.

    We don't regret having our daughters (we ended up with 2) but our time will come later in our lives, we'll be 45 and able to do all those things our friends were doing. Only we're not so fit and active anymore, and we won't be doing the hip and fun things I would have longed to do.

    So you're 21- go out and do some hip and fun things for goodness sake!!!
    Well I guess if anyone wanted to know if they should have a baby all they would have to do is read this post! You make it sound so... awful :s
    bestbessie's Avatar
    bestbessie Posts: 45, Reputation: 10
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    #7

    Dec 30, 2010, 08:43 PM
    Comment on Altenweg's post
    Holy cow, we're in Australia, so yes free health care, and both of us got free university (college) degrees. So we went into it without loads of debt.
    bestbessie's Avatar
    bestbessie Posts: 45, Reputation: 10
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    #8

    Dec 30, 2010, 08:45 PM
    Comment on ITstudent2006's post
    No it's not awful, they are dearly loved and cherished, and it's been a good life. I just want people to not romanticize life as a young parent, keep their eyes open, why do a degree then rush into parenthood? It makes no sense to me!
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