[fallendown]

My fiancé cheated on me twice, that she eventually admitted, and continued to lie about it for months. She claims that the affair is broken off and she has had no contact with him in months. Enter the credit card receipt that I found in her car. It is his. And the date is pretty new. She swears that she has no idea how it got there and that she has not seen him.

I am I a fool?

[Enigma1999]

Well, I don't think you're stupid. I think you are a little blind.

I get the impression that you really want to be with her, by giving her chance after chance. Giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Is it too much after TWO times? Perhaps.

I think it's time to wake up and realize that maybe she is not the commitment type.

I don't know if she's cheating on you at the present time. It's hard to say.

I don't think you will be able to trust her again...

I honestly think that perhaps you should move on.

I'm a firm believer that eveyone deserves a second chance. Not three or four...

The fact that she cheated twice shows me that there might be a third in the future.

So if you stick around for that, well then I guess that would be stupid.

The choice is yours.

Good Luck.

[DoulaLC]

You're not stupid... you're in love and have plans, and the alternative doesn't sound like much fun.

Do you believe her? There may come a time when you realize that she may be telling you the truth, but after so many lies, how would you know? Do you think you will always wonder? If so, do you want to live your life with her watching for possible signs she isn't being honest with you?

Talk to her about all of this... get it all out on the table and discuss your feelings and concerns, about now and about your relationship in the future. See what her reaction is. Is she willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild the trust? If so, there is a chance to make a lasting relationship. If not, then you may have to cut your losses and make some tough decisions.

Fool me once, shame on you... fool me twice, shame on me. You could always put any marriage plans on hold for now and see what time brings to the relationship. Do not move forward with marriage if you have any doubts.

[ironhide262]

You certainly are acting like a fool. I feel that one of the reasons some people cheat over and over again on their partner is because they know that their partner will most likely forgive them and take them back. I would have a very difficult time taking a woman back after cheating on me once... but, twice? A sign is a sign is a sign and you should take them as such.
Especially when there a far better opportunities!

[talaniman]

She cheated twice and can't explain his stuff in her car? No your not stupid, just a poor guy who can't count because, that was her third strike. She's out!!

[kaka67]

Enter the credit card receipt that I found in her car. It is his. And the date is pretty new. She swears that she has no idea how it got there and that she has not seen him.

Am I a fool?

Well if you believed her you wouldn't be here asking this question would you?

You know she's lying. Up to you what you do about it. But don't complain if you choose to ignore the signs and she screws around on you for the fourth, fifth, sixth... time.

Only a "fool" would allow that.

[fallendown]

Thanks everyone for responding. It was pretty much what I was thinking and as an added bounus I got a chuckle out of talaimans three strikes comment. This stuff is never easy but it comes down to a battle between the head and the heart. Unfortunately if the heart wins out then it just gets slammed worse the next time.
Again, thanks everyone and enjoy your holiday season. I am thinking a trip to Vegas is in order.
Cheers!

[DoulaLC]

Good luck fallendown! I know very well how much trouble listening to your heart can get you into. Sometimes it is worth taking that chance, sometimes it isn't. The difficult part is sometimes letting go in order to follow the least painful path.

[Inspired]

Hi Fallendown,

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. We all have been there one or more times. I will tell you from experience that it sounds like she takes you for granted and that the cheating and lying will continue until you put your foot down. If you give her another chance, you are only waisting your time and prolonging your healing from this relationship. Life is short, you diserve to be with someone who does not lie to you and cheat on you. Its not worth the headache, trust me. You sound like a wonderful guy and you will find someone equally wonderful in the future. She will get what she diserves as well. Karma is a B****. I hope you have a great time in vegas. I have been there twice and had loads of fun. Get a hotel on the strip, party like crazy and get her out of your system.