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jenny002 · Jan 9, 2007, 06:46 AM

I am going to a Family girls reunion weekend for my husband's family and have asked my long time friend to come with me. She is excited to go because she joined me last year and it was fun. This year she wants mutual friends to come with us as well. I feel uncomfortable bringing a whole "entorage" with me but since my friend is closer with these other friends than me I am finding it hard to tell her without insulting her that I don't want these extra friends to come along. Besides they are usually the type of friends who sit in the corner and do not socialize with people they don't know.
What should I do?
Thank you in advance for your help

Fr_Chuck · Jan 9, 2007, 07:32 AM

It is not proper for her to invite others on "your" trip.

A family reunion is not a group party in which a lot of strangers come in. ( unless that is how your family does it)

ghost56 · Feb 27, 2007, 11:11 AM

I would simply say, I'm sorry but it is a family occasion and I don't want to take lots of people. It uis not insulting, she shouldn't have put you in that position in the first place.

froggy7 · Feb 27, 2007, 08:44 PM

Originally Posted by ghost56

I would simply say, i'm sorry but it is a family occasion and i don't want to take lots of people. It uis not insulting, she shouldn't have put you in that position in the first place.

The only problem I can see with this is that the original poster is taking a non-family member to the family reunion. It's hard, logically, to see why two outsiders is bad if one is OK.

Also, I do have to wonder if the original poster isn't violating some etiquette rules by inviting the friend in the first place. Is this strictly a family event? Does it have formal invitations? And, if it did, did hers say "with guest", or is she upsetting the family by having someone tag along?

There's a lot more I'd have to know before I could say that the friend is doing anything but following the original poster's example.

leslieg · Feb 27, 2007, 09:39 PM

Originally Posted by jenny002

I am going to a Family girls reunion weekend for my husband's family and have asked my long time friend to come with me. She is excited to go because she joined me last year and it was fun. This year she wants mutual friends to come with us as well. I feel uncomfortable bringing a whole "entorage" with me but since my friend is closer with these other friends than me I am finding it hard to tell her without insulting her that I don't want these extra friends to come along. Besides they are usually the type of friends who sit in the corner and do not socialize with people they don't know.
What should I do??
Thank you in advance for your help

Be true to yourself. If she is a friend she will understand. Tell her with love. Others before me have given you good advise. She should not have asked to bring other friends as others replied. She did put you in a position that was unfair, but she did ask and so a response is called for. Ghost 56 did hit the nail on the head. Keep it simple and enjoy your reunion, it is your time, make it a good one. If your friend doesn't understand perhaps it's time to rethink the quality of that friendship. ENOY THE REUNION.

ghost56 · Feb 28, 2007, 04:50 AM

Originally Posted by froggy7

The only problem I can see with this is that the original poster is taking a non-family member to the family reunion. It's hard, logically, to see why two outsiders is bad if one is ok.

Also, I do have to wonder if the original poster isn't violating some etiquette rules by inviting the friend in the first place. Is this strictly a family event? Does it have formal invitations? And, if it did, did hers say "with guest", or is she upsetting the family by having someone tag along?

There's a lot more I'd have to know before I could say that the friend is doing anything but following the original poster's example.

I appreciate your response and to a certain degree agree with you, but I am going off, the friend asking to bring more people, that is going too far, what if those friends asked if they could bring friends, where do you draw the line.

leslieg · Feb 28, 2007, 05:12 AM

Must leave for work, so cannot respond till tonight. You are complicating the issue. It does not matter what another did. There is what is appropriate and what is not. You can tell her the truth that "this is a Family Reunion and that the only reason you invited her is you consider her family (if you do) and your not sure, but you might be bending the rules a little even with her. Anything else would not be not be right and you are not comfortable with bringing anyone else as you don't consider them FAMILY"

If you do not feel your friend is like family and you believe it should be only family maybe you need to rethink her coming along and you might need to tell her you made a mistake and you so apologize. You thought it would be okay but it is not. You can ask other family members how they feel and then let her know they are not comfortable with it or relay to your friend the general family sentiment RECENTLY told you.

Again, be true to yourself, honest with yourself and others, and whatever you do, do it with love. You seem to know what the guidelines are and you just need to state them from a good place. You will think this thing to death if you allow yourself . Keep it simple, make a decision you can live with, institute your decision, LET IT GO, and go enjoy yourself.

lacuran8626 · Mar 4, 2007, 10:40 PM

Tell her that you only feel comfortable inviting her, but if she'd rather take a trip with the whole group, perhaps you can do that another time. If she doesn't get the hint,you might just have to be more blunt but she is taking advantage. And, her focus should be enjoying and strengthening her friendship with you, not taking closer "back up" friends in case you aren't entertainment enough. She's not treating you as she should.