[Rockstar714]

So here is the situation:

I took my ex back in June after 4 years of being apart. We broke up in 2006 due to him cheating, he was with her for a few years (cheated on her) and got her pregnant, so now he has a child to deal with. He promised he changed and he has spent the last 2 years trying to get back together with me. I should've learned from my mistakes and said no this 2nd time.

He's been staying with me for a month as he wasn't working and couldn't pay rent on his apartment. He's 33, been through 6 cars since June (he gets bored and trades/sells them for something else) 4 xboxs (he pawns them for gas money) and 3 jobs (bored/finds others and screws himself over when the new one doesn't work out) and 7 cell phones (the bored issue again). He promised he'd help out around my house, he plays video games, leaves his spit cups all over, doesn't do anything and throws a fit if I ask him to help.

I get upset because he gets upset if I ask him to cuddle with me, he tells me I have to ask for intimacy, kisses, hugs, help, etc. He used to be affectionate, now he says he's just not that kind of person. He buries himself in his cell phone, constantly texting everyone else (when he wasn't staying with me I had to text him first because he said that texting me was the last thing on his mind)

So I'm at my wits end. We don't communicate at all. He gets frustrated and mad at me over the littlest things. I feel bad about telling him to kick rocks since he is basically homeless, and his sister doesn't want him to stay at his house, but all my friends hate him, my dad hates him and I really can't live my life like this. And I feel bad because of all the history between us (its never been a perfect relationship) and because he wanted me back so badly. But obviously all the promises weren't true and I feel used. He hasn't even EVER taken me out on a date.

So any suggestions are extremely helpful. Thanks. Sorry about the long post.

[Jake2008]

I don't think it really rings true that he is using you, and you are somehow a victim here. You say that he's been trying to get back with you for the past two years, while he was involved with someone else that he incidentally produced a child with, so there must be a two way street that has been up and running to some degree, for at least two of the four years you have so-called split.

The more likely situation here is that you are facing the fact that you allowed yourself, despite all the obvious red flags, despite the past history, and despite the broken promises, to take him back. He's broke, unemployed, not affectionate, contributes nothing to improving himself, following through with promises to change, and he's a cold fish on top of it.

So, is this the wakeup call you needed? Realizing that you've made a mistake, is the first step in correcting it. You cannot fix him, you can only fix your situation to reflect the reality that it is. If this is unhealthy, unproductive, stressful, and costing you emotionally, and financially by having him around, it is time to stop feeling sorry for this 33 year old man who is stuck in a 17 year old's body. And most 17 year olds would be more responsible than what he demonstrates.

You can only take charge of yourself. This is your life, your power, your control. To continue to compromise yourself to such an extreme degree, will only result in more and more giving, and less and less receiving. And he has a child to boot, that he is likely not paying any support to. What a straight up guy.

You can do better. Set the bar a little higher for yourself, end the relationship once and for all, get him out of your home, take back control, and start living again.

[talaniman]

Get rid of this guy once and for all, and be single, and start having fun. Seems to me you should have had enough of the loser guys you have been with.

Make friends, and not boyfriends for a while, so you can sort your life out, and be happy.

[Jeha]

Kick him out of your house immedatly, what use is feeling sorry for a guy not trying to make a better life for himself, he is obviously using you, for your home, possibly food, and other needed assories. Stop feeling sorry for him and go live your life. You also said that he never took you out on a date and all he does is play video game. Well tell him to go find another house to go play video games and to leave you alone, and that he should start paying child support.
This is the perfect time to say "Get a Life"