[Jaykay62]

Hey well this is a long story.See I never was looking for a relationship.and finally one day my old schoolmate got to contact me through a mutual friend.Well,apparently she had the biggest crush on me and wanted to get into it right away.She was 18 and I was 19,we both were in our 2nd year of our college(not the same college).I initially said no cause I had a huge amount of responsibilities in life and after.but she always encouraged me and said we could make it work,and that she would be my side no matter what(all this with super emotional tears!).I didn't want the question lingering in my head 'What if' so we got into the relationship.She wanted to get physical pretty quick as well.. I kind of had trouble in the beginning but I eventually agreed of course we never went all the way though she wanted to,we made a pact that if this was going to be a serious relationship we were going to wait until after marriage.She was very possessive and always got mad at me and went hyper if I spoke to other girls.I happened to have a very close friend and she was having some trouble in her relationship.when I was helping her out with that,my gf(then) had these major tantrums why did you have to be there,she has a boyfriend why do you have to comfort her.Eventually I got used to it and I even reduced talking to my friends causing them to think that I was avoiding.I did that to only try making this relationship work,because apart from this she was a very sweet person,very patient with me.I have a huge temper and I used to get ticked off with small childish things.We argued most of the time but we always made it out easy and apologized quick enough.So it was all going really good.we were well past our 6th month and I had already broken the news to my parents and they were happy and we had grown through the relationship.I no longer had the temper that I used to and we were very sensible.Suddenly she began becoming distant with me,it bothered me a lot,I always enquired why and what happened.but she kept saying college troubles or stuff.which I accepted and was always trying to comfort her to be happy and confident.she became worried about her getting a job for which I always encouraged her.but things weren't the same anymore,I thought it was my imagination so I set it aside and tried being the same.Then one day in our 10th month, she did something stupid and I ended up scolding her pretty bad.all my emotions and worried came out this way and I ended saying things I didn't mean.That started changing things,I called her up later and apologized heavily.She was obviously mad at me and started scolding me,which I took with open arms since it was my fault to lose my temper.I went to her place to make things at peace,since her parents are of the conservative type ,they didn't know about me,I waited outside her house and when she came out I apologized and she was genuinely happy.But she was still formal with me through texts and that is the only way we used to keep in touch.She started throwing guilt attacks saying that I never treated her well,I was always rude and I would never change and I always apologize.I pleaded saying that I would change all that please be the same as you used to be with me.It went on for 2 whole weeks.she always was formal and rude to me.I apologized through about 20 e-cards(I couldn't risk with real ones since her parents were super strict) nothing broke the ice,even though she said she forgave me,she always made it feel like she was talking to me reluctantly.We moved into our 11th month,she and I wanted to start afresh,it went on fine until I read a message to her from her apparent close friend calling her 'baby',I was jealous no matter what the reason I wouldn't like anyone calling my girlfriend that.Besides this caught me off guard,I always portrayed her as this girl who doesn't let guys that close because she hated the fact I had many friends in girls but never have I once used petnames to call them,it was all weird,it was like I never knew who she was at all.I asked her about it and she said that it was nothing and he always called her that way.I told her that's really disturbing I don't want him calling you that way,she got all hyper and started saying he's just a friend ,why would you make such a big deal out of it,I was only trying to help him get through some rough stuff,I told her this was the same thing I told you when I was trying to help my other friend,why did you disaprove of that.She assumed I was suspecting her of cheating me with him.I tried making her understand.eventually that that died down.All was well for two days when she again became texting me formally.when asked about it,she said she was irritated.I offered to help,told her let's talk about it,we can talk about it even if its about me,lets sort it out.She said that she still isn't able to forget the times I was rude to her.I told her if this is bothering you so much I think it's best if we break up,I don't want you to be in a relationship when you feel this way,to which she cried a lot and asked me never to leave her and that she was just being silly.I told her that we need to talk and sort everything out before we screw it up entirely.She was reluctant and the 2hr talk made absolutely no yield whatsoever.she wasn't even attempting and kept arguing most of the time.On the same night,I have the habit of checking her Facebook profile,she was always scared about socialing sites and I kept tab of annoying people and removed them,but she had changed her password.This was serious,she never kept anything from me,and I logged into her mail to check if it was her and I saw the Facebook mail replies from a girl who happened to be our senior from high school.the mails were apparent that she was asking about some guy from her batch.I let it go,I never confronted her about it.the next day the same thing happened and she asked about him to another batchmate.I know it was wrong prying into her privacy and I never would have done that unless I suspected that someone else had changed her password.I decided that she longer was happy with me and she was just scared to break up with me.I broke up with her the next day but she cried a lot and begged me back.I didn't want to hurt her so we got back almost instantly.But this was messing with my head and after a day I asked her and she well started crying again and said that she was so sorry for betraying me and that she could never look at me again.The guy happened to be someone she liked when she was in 9th grade and apparently she saw him recently and with all the fights happening,she began doing this.She actually told me all this.I asked her to take a break for 2 days ,longer if she wanted to and get her emotions clear for me.Two days later.she said she loved only me and she didn't know why she behaved that way.I told her its in the past lets move on.it eventually was a huge thing to move on for both of us.I know the amount of pain I went through knowing that she was asking about some old crush she had.it made me sick to my stomach.Things were going slow for a week,we were trying to make things work or at least I was.And then one day after a week she sends text saying she wasn't to break and its her fault and not to worry,I was devastated.I called her back and all she said was 'let's just stop everything here',I couldn't really do anything.I wasn't able to forget her because I couldn't forget the good times I had with her.I called her up the next day and begged her to get back leaving all myself respect behind.She just ended it saying 'i feel this isn't good now,Not interested anymore'.I still have sleepless nights wondering what went wrong.its been two months since it happenend and I'm still having trouble moving on.Why do you think happened? Where did it go wrong?

[ironhide262]

Your question is titled "Girlfriend of a year breaks up for no apparent reason"... yet your story is riddled with tons of reasons. All the fighting, arguing, lying, deceiving,(on both your parts) snooping in another's e-mail accounts, etc... Would you consider this a healthy relationship? A bit of a rocky one to say the least.

Not too sure why you didn't break up with her after learning see was pursuing another guy. Just the fact that you found yourself snooping through her e-mails should have made you realize what this relationship had turned into.

I think you were headed to a breakup eventually... sooner or later something had to give. She just had enough dude and probably can't get past this other guy. If it wasn't her deciding to breakup then I'm sure it would have been you!

OK... time to dig your head out of the past and stop wondering what went wrong. Seems like the both of you made mistakes. You tried and it's over. Learn from this experience and move on with your life.

[ironhide262]

One more thing-

For the love of god!! Throw in some paragraphs next time!

[answerme_tender]

Sorry I tried to read your post, but I went cross-eyed trying to read one continuous paragraph.