[Chloe369]

So you have a point of view as to his background, I am his first girlfriend, he comes from a verbal family, but not necessarily an openly affectionate one while I come from a very social family who is all about communication and affection and he is my second boyfriend. My issue here is that after a six month period, he is still rarely verbally/physically affectionate. He has made it clear that he loves me, however, he tells me this so rarely. He only gives me kisses and hugs when I'm leaving. He never pursues me through phone call, text, email.. etc. He has told me that I'm beautiful, although it is so uncommon to ever hear a compliment from him, it must be at least two months now since he has last said something genuinely sweet to me. When I make an effort to have a meaningful conversations with him, he quickly changes the subject. Although, I must say, he is always a gentleman to me like no other. However, I need more affection from him, just a teensy bit, because without it, it leaves me feeling insecure in the relationship. The one day he mentioned to me that "I was a really great girlfriend," it kept me feeling secure for a very long time. I did ask him about it once, and he was quick to say that he loved me very much and actually made sure I was okay, but after I said I was okay he quickly changed the subject... he provides little reassurance where I need it most. That's all I've done though because I don't want to be that needy insecure girlfriend that so many guys find annoying, so I keep it bottled up to seem less selfish. Does anyone have any ideas as to what could be going through his mind and how I could open him up to being a little more loving? I just want to understand him a little better.

[Andrew916]

To me it sounds like he's just not sure what to do. You need to sit down with him and really talk about this. This being his first relationship he doesn't really know how to go about things and is unsure about how much affection to show and it sounds like this is supported by how he was raised. This is a new thing for him and if he does love you I'm sure he wants to make you happy. Go someplace nice and talk about your situation and how you feel about everything. Tell him what you need to in order to feel secure in the relationship. Just state your issues with him like you did with us. Good luck!

-Drew

[talaniman]

He is the way he is, but you should be able to talk to him and let him know how you feel. Sometimes people speak better with actions and not words, and it sounds like he is one of those. That's not a bad thing you know.

[Wondergirl]

Do you know his ethnic background? Is he German perhaps? Or British? Often those ethnic groups are reserved more than demonstrative, and let you know you are loved by what they DO, not by hugs and kisses and lots of flowery words.