[Taylor1313]

I have tried many times to tell my mom I cut myself but every time she says she's to busy doing something. Then when she's not she wants me to talk to her in front of my dad. Then when we are alone and I do have a chance to tell her I don't know how. I am unsure if she still cares about me because she never wants anything to do with me and that just gets me cutting more. I believe the problem is because she's not biologically my mom and she doesn't understand but when I try to tell her she just ignores me. Sometimes I don't know if I even exist. I have tried time after time to stop but every night my parents make me feel invisible and stupid. When they do that it makes me cut myself before I go to sleep to keep from crying. When I talked to my counselor at school she told me to do something else like write it down or listen to music. I tried that I even tried punching the wall a few times but it never relieves the emotional pain. I don't know what else to do. Can someone help me?

[Wondergirl]

You choose to cut yourself. Your stepmom and parents don't make you do it. You allow yourself to feel invisible and stupid.

You feel you have no control in your life. You think everyone else is in control of things, but not you. Do you want to be able to control some things rather than cut yourself?

[Taylor1313]

I know its my choice and I hv 2 live with it. I know I choose 2 cut myself by saying I cut because of her I meant I stopped 4 almost 3 months then 1 wendsday I came from church and she gt mad because I asked her if we could talk in private bt she said she wz 2 busy for me. Bt then my sister asked her to help him do something and she said yh. I gt mad because she didn't hv time for me bt did for my sister. And if I'm nt doing something for her then I'm invisible and no 1 notices. I make myself invisible yh bt nt at my house at home your supposed to be able to be free. To answer if I want to be in control, yh 1 thing; my life. I don't want to be cinderella: I do everything and gt nothing in return because I hide behind my fears. But I also don't wnt to be that person everyone hates because they talk 2 much or don't do what others say. I wnt to be myself and nt hv scars on the outside and inside. I her to care. I know I cut because its my choice bt why don't she notice when I hv 3inch long marks on my arm. Its nt that I think its her fault, I think a parent should know her kid,hers or nt, well enough to know when she's nt acting like her normal self.

[ITstudent2006]

First off lets use proper grammar & punctuation.

Secondly, no one makes you cut yourself. No matter what they do, no matter how mad they get or why they get mad, how they act or don't act. No one makes you do things.

Sometimes there is no right moment to talk about something like this. Waiting for that right moment to come is going to keep you from doing it. Sometimes all you got to do is make time, blurt it out when you're with her if you have to.

Don't wait until its too late.

P.S. This is not an issue with your mothers actions, this is an issue with your actions (ie: cutting yourself)

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to discuss your problem with your parents, both of them, so with them both is the correct thing.

Next while you have issues with your mom, it appears, she is not making you do anything, you are making a choice,

So you need to address first your problem, perhaps though counseling to find the real issues and address them.

[Taylor1313]

I know it's my fault. Let me rephrase my question. How do I tell my mom I cut myself and why I do it.

[Wondergirl]

I know it's my fault. Let me rephrase my question. How do i tell my mom i cut myself and why i do it.

Do YOU know why you do it?

[Taylor1313]

I do it because I feel alone in the world, and that I have no one to go to for my answers to my questions. I do it because no one's ever around for me when I need someone to be there.

[Wondergirl]

I do it because i feel alone in the world, and that i have no one to go to for my answers to my questions. I do it because no one's ever around for me when i need someone to be there.

In other words, you have no control over your life.

How do you think your mother will respond?

[Taylor1313]

She would freak and get really mad. She wouldn't give me a chance to explain. She would try to take total control of my entire life; who I go out with,who I'm allowed to be friends with,and she would want to know everything I'm doing all the time. But I want to tell her because at least someone would notice me. And I want to be alone anymore.

[Wondergirl]

What about first going to an adult who will honestly try to help? Your school counselor or social worker? A priest or minister?

[Taylor1313]

I talked to one of my youth leaders and she wz helping me bt after a couple months I stopped talking to her. I talked to my school counselor and she just told me ways to advoid it happening, bt I did everything and it still didn't help.

[Wondergirl]

I talked to one of my youth leaders and she wz helping me bt after a couple months I stopped talking to her.

Why did you stop? Can you go back to her?

Talking with your mom will only make you feel worse, so let's not go there right now.

[Taylor1313]

Because I felt bad about lying to her. I told her I hd stopped and wz cutting anymore. I tried I just cnt tell her I cut myself again.if I do ill just make 1 more person upset and disappointed with me,enough people are already disappointed with me.

[Wondergirl]

because I felt bad about lying to her. I told her I hd stopped and wz cutting anymore. I tried I just cnt tell her I cut myself again.if I do ill just make 1 more person upset and disappointed with me,enough people are already disappointed with me.

Do two favors for me please: 1) no texting. Write complete words and sentences with punctuation (just like in school); 2) Use the Answer box at the bottom, not the Comment
Box.

You are assigning imaginary feelings to everyone, and especially to her. That's not fair. She might be somewhat disappointed, but it won't kill her. Give her another chance and be honest with her this time. Meanwhile, I and others are here to help you walk in this dark tunnel. (We have flashlights. :D)

[Taylor1313]

I told her one night and she said she wz disappointed with me that I had lied to her. She told me it made her sad that I had not listened to her and Mrs. Green. I tried to explain but instead I told her that I did not cut again that I lied and told her that I had started again because I wanted to know if she still cared because no one else did. That made her not disappointed anymore,but I felt a little bad about it. She understood when I first told her but I'm not really sure if she does anymore.

[Wondergirl]

i wanted to know if she still cared

What would people in your life need to do to show you they care about you?

[Taylor1313]

Notice me:see that I actually exist.that I'm not invisible.listen to me when I talk.at least for ten or fifteen minutes a week.they have time for everyone except me,so that's all I want is to be noticed and for someone listen to what I'm saying and not get mad if I say something wrong or if what I say is nothing but drama.

[Wondergirl]

notice me ; listen to me when i talk

Be patient with me. I'm going to throw this back on you for a minute.

Do you use good posture and are visibly doing constructive things around the house and with kids your age? Are you noticeable and are fun to be around?

When you talk, do you use standard English without lots of teen slang and bad grammar? Do you smile when you talk, and speak of pleasant things (not whining or yelling or crying)?

Do you have chores around the house -- and do them?

If I called your mom right now, what would do you think would be her first complaint about you?

[Taylor1313]

I talk about my boyfriend and about my grades and teachers. But that only makes everything worse. I don't use slang when talking to my parents and I only use bad grammar as in saying ain't when everyone says ain't ain't a word. I rarely smile except around my boyfriend because he makes everything better. My chore is washing dishes and I wash and fold the clothes, and I do them without complaining about it. Unlike my siblings. My biological mom would probably say that I'm awesome and is always acting happy. The other mom the one I wrote this about would probably say I'm book smart and make good grades. But that would be it because she sees eveything wrong with me and nothing right.