[lf08]

Hi, I am having some doubts about my relationship. My boyfriend and I have known each other since high school. In high school, we weren't friends. He would just come to our cafeteria table and we would hold delightful conversations, so I would say he was a nice person to talk to. A year after graduation, I started to receive messages from his brother and cousin that he wanted to start dating and that he wanted my number so he could call me. He even sent his number to me after I never sent mine. For about 2 months, I was undecided about calling him because I was in an unhappy relationship with someone else. After I broke my relationship off, I called him and we hit it off. After that we began to become intimate and now we are expecting our 1st daughter. Sometimes I feel as maybe we did not take the time to get to know each other well enough before we had sex and if it wasn't for the baby we wouldn't be together. I feel majority of the time he feels as if he has to be with me because of the baby and if there was no baby there would be no us. How can I help to resolve my doubtful feelings about our relationship?

[chuff]

Have you felt only this way while you were pregnant? If so it might be hormonal imbalance. You don't really give specific examples of why you feel this way so I can only assume your thinking emotionally at this time.

[kay13]

Hi, Chuff may have a point about how long you've been feeling this way. Pregnancy makes us ladies slightly more emotional than normal (LOL!). I felt much the same when I was expecting my first baby, wondering if my boyfriend was only with me because of the baby. These feelings could be perfectly normal. How is the relationship with him otherwise?

[lf08]

The relationship is great. It seemed as if we were beginning to argue a lot and I told him that we probably needed some time apart. We had an argument one morning and I went into premature labor, but I don't know if the argument was the cause of it or we just so happened to argue the morning I went into premature labor. I told him the time apart would cut down some of the arguments and put less stress on the baby and me. We weren't apart a day before he was at my house trying to pretend we weren't apart. He said he didn't want to take a break because my hormones had me feeling those emotions. We got back together and are working our problems out, so I hope they get better. Oh the baby is due any day now!!

[jadedmom]

All relationships go through periods of doubt. Sometimes you feel more connected, sometimes less. It is normal to be going through emotional questioning at a time of such major change in your life.

[chuff]

the relationship is great.

Awesome.

it seemed as if we were beginning to argue alot and i told him that we probably needed some time apart. we had an argument one morning and i went into premature labor, but i don't know if the argument was the cause of it or we just so happened to argue the morning i went into premature labor. i told him the time apart would cut down some of the arguments and put less stress on the baby and me. we weren't apart a day before he was at my house trying to pretend we weren't apart. he said he didn't want to take a break because my hormones had me feeling those emotions.

I think so. You sound like you got one of the good guys.

we got back together and are working our problems out, so i hope they get better. oh the baby is due any day now!!!!!!

Congratulations. Don't forget he might be nervous too about the baby. I'm not saying he's right to argue with you but he also is going to be a father for the first time so he might just be a little on edge as well.

[talaniman]

Just know that you are under all types of stresses now so relax and have your baby. My wife hated me when our first was coming but what's a guy to do? I'll bet your emotional without being pregnant. Have a healthy baby, Dad will be there no matter how evil you get. That's what we do ma'am.

[lf08]

Thanks y'all. All of your advice helps a lot.