[lalerlang]

Am I out of line for being miffed that for the third year in a row, my sister includes her friends in our family gatherings? What started as a one time invitation to her friend to attend Thanksgiving with us because her husband had to be out of town, has now turned into "tradition" where this friend, her husband, and their 4 teenagers share every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with us. When it's "my turn" to host, I feel awkward, these are not my friends, yet they somehow come as a package deal with my sister, and I must invite them also. They are not poor, lonely, or anything else I can figure, that makes me feel they "must" be included. My sister's family and this friends family spend a lot of time together, even doing vacations together; my parents are included in these events but we have never been invited, so we're not a part of their "circle". This year, I was informed that my sister and her friend have already planned everything out, and of course, I was invited, but "we're doing it at the "Smith's" this year. I politely said we were going to go ahead and do our own thing, and that they were more than welcome to join us for desert after their "thing" if they wanted to. I feel it should be the other way around; have Thanksgiving with your family, invite your friends over for pie later. Now, of course, I'm in trouble with my sister and parents for not wanting to celebrate as a family. I'm tired of feeling like the tag-a-long at my own family functions.

[Fr_Chuck]

They may if they are having or hosting a party, do what ever they want, we often have lots of friends over for holidays.

But you are free to only have the people you want when you host it at your home. So when having at your home, tell sister that they are invited but not their friends, you are only inviting family. They can choose to come or not,

With more distant of family and more work issues, the large family dinners are less common than they used to be.