[RNM]

Hi,

I am writing because I have been struggling on and off with a past relationship that ended 4 months ago officially. We were in an exclusive relationship and I think I was in love with him. Though it was painful and heartbreaking for me sometimes because he'd be travelling for work and then the distance just didn't keep it strong. But he said so many times he wanted to stay friends and always talk in the future. Now I am deeply hurt because he lives in another country then me, and we haven't spoken for 4 months. I wrote a message to him once and he responded, so then I responded back, but then he didn't respond. I also wrote to him on an IM chat box when he was online, but he didn't write back. He said he wanted to keep talking in the future and always know me, but now what has happened? It hurts me because I feel forgotten and neglected by him for not responding me. Should I write to him agaiin and be honest about the way I feel ? Should I tell him that I feel hurt that we haven't spoken and I feel forgotten and neglected ? Or should I just leave it in the past and accept that he may not want to talk. I do not want him to think I am still hooked on him. I would appreciate some advise, thanks.

[Catsysue]

I am sorry for your pain, but I think you should put him in the past. It would be too hard for both of you at this time to continue to communicate. I believe he did not respond for that reason. Please look forward.

[youradvisor1]

If you cut all communication for the time being your feelings will naturally dissolve. You're actually in the best position to move on as he's in an entirely different country which means no mutual connections or the possibility of running into him. Maybe in time you guys will rekindle a friendship however I suspect when you do move on 100% you won't be interested in a friendship. The reason you're so hooked on a staying in touch with him is because you still like the guy. Don't share your feelings as he may not respond and that will hurt you even more.

[answerme_tender]

RNM

I would not contact him--period. He has moved on with his life, even moved to different country. Most people say that they want to stay in contact as "just friends" , it makes it sound less hurtful when breaking up. But in reality they are ready to move on without looking back. They might even answer a few emails. By doing this they are either trying to still string you along for a full back bootie call or they stop all contact because they are totally done with relationship.

Its time to move on, don't continue trying to explain your feelings when it is obvious he doesn't really care one way or another. Don't appear desperate for his attention.

[I wish]

Harshness warning

I think it's best to keep him in the past. It's obvious that you still have feelings for him and want to rekindle a relationship, but it's also obvious that he doesn't.

You want different things. If you just keep trying to keep in touch with him, you're just going to hold on to this last shred of false hope. Any time he gives you the least bit of attention, your hopes skyrocket, yet it's only in your mind.

[talaniman]

That's the problem with trying to stay friends with an ex. When he doesn't respond with what you want, when you want it, then you take it as a personal affront and never heal. That's why stopping all contact and don't respond to him is what's best to put this behind you and end the confusion, false hope, and hurt feelings.

Talaniman Rule-When they ask for a break, give it to them and do your own thing.

Talaniman Rule- When they need space, give it to them, and disappear from their lives. This allows you to heal.

Talaniman Rule- While they are dumping you, never say you can't be friends. Agree to whatever they want, then disappear from their life.

Its time to rebuild your life around things that make you happy without him involved at all. A proper healing is your priority, Not keeping a long distance friendship with an ex.

[answerme_tender]

Tal--love the rules!!