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    jo1292wl's Avatar
    jo1292wl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 4, 2010, 12:45 PM
    Girlfriend told me she needs "me time and time to think"... what does she mean?
    So I have been dating this girl for about 2 1/2 months and it has been very good she says she loves me and I love her too but she recently told me that she needs "me time and time to think". What does she mean by this? She had someone close to her die a couple months ago (her ex) and its still affecting her a little and it has been bothering her a lot this week and I have been there for her but she has gotten distant and doesn't really want to talk to me that much ( all in a matter of two days). I asked her what's wrong ans she told me that she has a lot going on and she's a mess right now, so I told her I understand. Then the next day I asked her if everything is all right between us and she said its just her, nothing I did but she needs to see what she needs in her life and get everything back together. So I said is what you mean that you don't need me in your life or are we still together and she said I'm not saying that but right now I'm all her free time and she is not focused on school and work. I said OK we can still make it work if you want, she then told me give her her week away (she going on vacation with her gf) to think and get everything back together before she can decide. This was all through a text messeges.. later we kiss when we seen each other and I said goodbye to her and I love you and she said I love you back. So I don't know what's going on is it seems like we are together but then again it doesn't so I'm lost lol
    badandy's Avatar
    badandy Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Nov 4, 2010, 01:04 PM
    She needs time and she is about to go away with her girlfriend? Sounds like she doesn't want anyone attached so when she go away she can do what she want and not feel guilty. Or she might not want to be close to you since she lost someone else that was close and is afriad of losing you as well. But its never a good thing when someone says they want some time or space it usually means they either into someone else or just want to explore a little. If she comes back from vacation all brand new and want to continue to be with you Id question what was really going on and what happen on vacation.
    jo1292wl's Avatar
    jo1292wl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 4, 2010, 01:14 PM
    Comment on badandy's post
    Well she already planned this vacation before I met her so I don't think it's that and she really wanted me to go before this all happened so I don't know.. thanks
    badandy's Avatar
    badandy Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 4, 2010, 01:18 PM
    Comment on badandy's post
    But the fact that she wants time away form you guys relationship right before the trip sounds fishy. My GF bro broke up with his girl a couple days before hollowween to mess around guilt free for weekend we had planned the whole weekend a month early
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Nov 4, 2010, 06:01 PM

    What's up with this insecurity thing? Leave her alone and give her what she asked for and see how things work when she gets back. That simple so don't over think, and just do your thing, and let her do what she has to for herself.

    She isn't ready to be a good girlfriend, so don't make her because you can't.
    badandy's Avatar
    badandy Posts: 14, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Nov 5, 2010, 11:36 PM
    Comment on talaniman's post

    Easy to say when its him and not you going through it. Obv he love her and care for her and is confused. Not everyone can be don juan and cold hearted and just "do them" she should just be honest and tell him what's going on or just leave him alone

    Comment on badandy's post

    I wish you the best.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Nov 6, 2010, 07:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by badandy View Post
    Comment on talaniman's post
    easy to say when its him and not you going through it. obv he love her and care for her and is confused. not everyone can be don juan and cold hearted and just "do them" she should just be honest and tell him whats going on or just leave him alone
    But I have been through it, and when a female asked for space, I honored it, and did my own thing. That's happen more than once, and it was never about being Don Juan, or cold hearted, but about being true to my own dignity, and self respect. Its always about what I do, no matter what situation life throws at me.

    He cannot control her actions, but he can control what he does about it. Yes its easy for me to say because my advice is from experience and common sense. Its not about being suave or cold, its about doing for yourself. Its about coping with reality and not being stuck, its about dealing with what's real, and not fantasy, and false hope, hurt, and dissapointment. Yes its easy to say, and very hard to do. That doesn't mean its not the right thing to do because its hard.

    And its his choice what he does now, not hers, and wishing him the best is nice, but its not advice. So before you criticize another, check yourself, because I haven't commented or criticized you or your advice, and for sure haven't asked you a damn thing.

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