Check out some similar questions!

amalikrunner · Nov 2, 2010, 07:44 AM

Moved to its own thread

I don't know what to say... I am an athele, marathoner - Running is my only friend in life... I can run 24 hours if needed - I only loved one lady in my life, my wife (not sure if we're divorced, unless she filed it) I am 21 now, married 3 years and her Facebook showed she is in a relaitonship - I tried contacting her many times she never replied and now I know why - I think of her everyday... every moment, I have no friends - and no one to share these intense emotional feelings and to cry out so I simply run and run for hours everyday it is my only pain killer and I love running, so it's a bonus - I write for my wife everyday on a website hoping she may read and reply but I doubt... I wish I wasn't a human sometimes this pain just kills me everyday... it gets unbearable I just want to cry right now even... it is like you are stiched but still bleeding internally.. but I know soon I will reach many of my major goals and be a famous man in this world and everyone who met me will remember me once they see me standing on the stage and talking about my painful experiences in life.. I hope one of them is my wife.

Newguy2009 · Nov 2, 2010, 09:43 AM

Dude you are only 21. I didn't get into my first serious relationship until I was 23. Sure I dated and messed around but I never thought I would find the right girl. When I met her I thought she was the one. Even after we were together for 3 years I felt I wanted to marry her. Well one day that all changed. Things didn't work out and It took me a long time to realize this but it happened for a reason.

You may not feel like it now but things will get better and when you least expect it you will meet that person and you will wonder why you worried so much. I can't say that I have met my next dream wife but It has been fun expirimenting and finding out what I don't want. We've been broken up for just over a year now and I still think about her. I was so cought up in the why it was happening. I finally woke up and haven't contacted her for about 7 months now. I suggest you do the same, It is the only way to heal. Be patient it will happen when you will realize you are better off. Maybe not today but you will eventually emerge from what you may feel is a bottomless pit. Trust me, we've all been there. Good luck and keep the positive!

Newguy2009 · Nov 2, 2010, 09:45 AM

Sorry I thought you were the OP. I still meant what I said though runner

amalikrunner · Nov 2, 2010, 09:58 AM

I appreciate your reply brother, I feel a little better - I am glad at least someone in the world can read what I express and take time to write to make me feel better... I appreciate it...

I wish · Nov 2, 2010, 10:03 AM

I moved your post to its own thread so that we can help you out if you need it.

You're still young and learning new things. Don't need to be so hard on yourself. Just treat everything as a learning experience and do better moving forward. Stay positive buddy!

amalikrunner · Nov 2, 2010, 10:12 AM

I try but believe me everyday the thoughts of my wife haunt me, 1 year + no contact, no seeing, but yet today the feelings just eat me in within... Even today while I slept I dreamt of her and woke up crying... - I have great goals and look forward to helping thousands of people in the world in making their dreams true but yet I am weak - I write on a website everyday for my wife hoping she reads.. I know she moved on and is with another man and I won't blame her or anyone, it is what it is... but I have zero friends, many social contacts because I run on the highway/roads and thanks God, this has given me a lot of popularity in the country I am residing in right now and many newspapers article published of myself and look forward to doing greater things and the lonliness makes me run more and more, for 6 hours a day non-stop sometimes... the pain eats me inside... I have everything someone could wish for, car, money, education is going on... but when it comes to friends/someone who can love me in return it is none... and I just get sad and cry everyday I can't find a way to break this cage I guess ill just have to go with how it is going now... I appreciate all your advises... :) I am glad I am not just writing to the wall and people in the world understand and reply giving their important time to others.

I wish · Nov 2, 2010, 10:23 AM

I think you need to find some time to attend social gatherings. You say that you want to help people, then why not try to do some volunteering? That's a great way of meeting new people with similar interests.

It's not always easy to meet new people, but you do have to put yourself in a situation where you can meet new people.

amalikrunner · Nov 2, 2010, 10:30 AM

I appreciate your advise - I do volunteer at a cancer hospital for kids - but at my volunteering time there is no other volunteer and if there is, many humans I meet find me strange, because of my lifestyle of waking up 3 am and running and sleeping 7 pm and they find my goals and dreams sometimes unrealistic and say I live a very strict lifestyle and need to have fun which for them is 'smoking/drinking/girls' I refrain from all these situations and hence when I meet females, let's say many notice me when I run because I run on the road and cars come but they know me so they move away already and those I met turned out to be liars and players and they make my belief system stronger that I concluded most females are just lousy characters and just prefer to be with the 'rude males' who treat them so bad, so I gave up on that anyway I listened to james blunt song, cryed for about 1 hour and I feel better and of course seeing others understand my situation makes me feel better... I will head to bed now :) Thanks everyone for the help.. I will surely return

I wish · Nov 2, 2010, 10:39 AM

I think it's just a matter of finding others who have similar values and common interests with you. You just need to put yourself in a position to meet more people to increase your chances of meeting more people.

Let us know if you need more help and keep us posted!

Newguy2009 · Nov 2, 2010, 01:54 PM

It hepls me too sometimes :)

Newguy2009 · Nov 2, 2010, 01:58 PM

"I write on a website everyday for my wife hoping she reads"
In my eyes, this is STILL considered contact. You are hoping she reads it? What would it change?

answerme_tender · Nov 11, 2010, 12:47 PM

You have never has closure to your marriage. Why don't you know if she has gotten a divorce or not. Haven't you ever signed papers? You know that she has moved on in her life, and its been over a years since you have heard a word from her. You have suffered a loss, you need to mourn and MOVE on with your life. As an athelete you must see it everyday where others are wasting their chances for living a physcially fit life by just sitting around. They complain about weight and being unfit, or even unhealthy, but they never do anything to HELP their situations. They think a miracle is going to come along and poof they are all fit and healthy without doing a darn thing.

You are doing the samething, you are sitting around expecting that you emotional life is going to be all better if what---if the woman who is your wife starts talking to you after an entire year. That if she does actually talk to you that what poof your going to have friends. Our emotional health is just as hard to maintain as a physical is. Your are going to have to work at this, to give it your all. It may hurt, but just like when your first started being a true distance runner, your legs burned,and burned, but you kept going. That how emotional healing is going to be. Your going to have to move on with your life, just like she has. You may have go into social activities were there are actual people around. You're an athlete--try some unified team sport activities, bowling,softball,volleyball. Get involved in a church if that is something you might like. Take a class at your local college. Just like when really started being a great runner, it didn't happen overnight, you had to put some long hours and build endurance, so will your social life.

Stop wasting your life on a woman who doesn't HEAR you. Get out meet some new people, you maybe missing out on the woman who needs you to really complete her circle. Good luck

hjpan · Nov 12, 2010, 04:43 AM

Bro, I'm 21 years young and turning 22 in less than a month & half. I was in my first serious relationship when I was 18 and my ex was 17. We had our ups & downs though the breakup did cripple me. I was in sh*thole for a year until I went through self-recovery. However, I made some poor choices in life and was sentenced to serve a year in a corrections facility. During my time inside, all I focused on was myself. Me, me, myself, me, and getting out of the corrections facility.

Life has thrown curveballs at me and I used to be unable to manage them. Now, I can manage one by one and I know I can manage a couple at once in the near future. Your ex-wife left you is because she is not fit for you as to you are not fit for her. There are almost 7 billion people in the world... yet you are on only your ex-wife?

amalikrunner · Nov 12, 2010, 05:32 AM

Thank you for reminding me about how I can look at my emotional life, very true, just like how I had to and still push beyond my limits when I run everyday... it is a matter of mental power... I really appreciate your useful words..

amalikrunner · Nov 12, 2010, 05:34 AM

Thanks for sharing your experience, whenever I feel sad I am sure to remember what you all have shared, I am not alone. :) yep 7 billion... lol that's a lot! :)