[moneyandblah]

I won some money at a casino less than 10,000 my husband wants me to give it all to him should I and what would be reasonable what do you think ?
All money goes into his account and then he pays the bills etc and I get an allowance

[CarrotTalker]

How did you win the money?

Why does he want ALL of the money?

I would consider giving some, but keep the rest for yourself in a separate savings (only you have access) account.

[moneyandblah]

At the casiono - because he feels he is entitled to it as my husband and because he doesn't want me to spend it on things - ty for your answer

[Wondergirl]

I too wonder why your husband wants you to turn over all the money to him. How does he handle money so far during your marriage? What would he do with the money?

What do you think would be reasonable?

[moneyandblah]

All money goes into his account and then he doles it out I get an allowance pays the bills and everything he handles all the money -

[moneyandblah]

I think it would be reasonable to give him half although he did give the money at the casino 20.00 and I won big he wanted them to make the cheque out to him so he could cash it - and he behaved quite badly and it was commented on when I went to get the cheque about his behaviour

[Fr_Chuck]

Was he with you, and were you both playing,

What would you want to do with the money, is there some debt ( credit cards and the such that need to be paid off)

Next why "his account" do you have an account, and are there any joint accounts)


I think you have a much bigger problem, ( I am saying this from the US point of view, you may be from a nation where women have little or no rights)

But all of the bills should be paid from a joint account in both of your names. And you should be aware of what they are, when they are paid and part of the paying process.

He then should be allowed an allowance, as you are for personal money from that.

You are not a child and he is treating you as one.

[moneyandblah]

Comment on Fr_Chuck's post

Only his account no joint accounts I was playing with the $20 that he gave me

I think he has some control issues even I know that he who controls the money has the power I know - he says he doesn't trust me and that I will just spend the money on things - like towels or plants or things

He wasn't playing he was drinking he gave me the 20.00 to play at the casino

He wanted them to make the cheque out to him and he behaved quite badly enough for comments to be made about it to me

No debts at all

[Wondergirl]

Well, if I won that much money, I would buy towels or plants or a few fun things. What does he hope the money will be useful for? Retirement? Buying stocks? A new house? Kids' college educations? An inheritance for kids or the animal shelter?

[moneyandblah]

He hopes the money will pay anybill we get and pay for a holiday -
But when he got a great big inheritance he didn't say here you are have some money to buy a new dress - he gave me nuthing

[Wondergirl]

So he's already sitting on a hunk of money and isn't sharing it? Or did he spend it?

Can you open your own savings or checking account and name him as beneficiary? I sure wouldn't give him any more than half (if that much).

[moneyandblah]

A huge amount of money so he used some to take us on holiday and buy a car (1) paid off the house- now it just sits there
I do have a savings account of my own but it never had / has anything in it

[slapshot_oi]

Hell no! It's your money.

Put it in a secret savings account and remind him how he never gave you a cent of the inheritance money.

[moneyandblah]

Comment on Wondergirl's post


If I need somethiing I ask him for the money and he will put some in my a/c but then he want the receipt for it whatever I bought so he can write it in his little accounts book

Comment on slapshot_oi's post

Well he did pay for a holiday and paid the house off - so technically no he didn't give me any but then again it was his inheritance not mine I don't think I had a right to it anyway what do you think

[Jlesnik33]

I think he seems like a man who knows what he is doing, and can control his money, but at the same time don't let someone walk all over you, your not 5 years old. If you want something with that money, you go and you buy it!

In a marriage (I believe) money should always be shared, but there is a line.

What would he say to you if you told him you were holding on to it?

[moneyandblah]

He would have a great big tantrum

[talaniman]

He sounds like a frugal man who is as generous as he is, and very responsible, and no matter your issues, then you discuss it, and reach a resolution that's fair to you both. I see no problem in you having a fair share to do as you please, and I see no problem with him getting a fair share also.

Negotiate the details, and share your good fortunes, with each other. Make it a 3 way split, you, him, and your savings. I will be honest, he keep receipts that's a very good thing in the end, and he gives you whatever you ask for, another good thing, but his control is a bit too tight for me, and I feel you should be squirreling something away for your own use. IF something were to happen to him (heaven forbid), you would be stuck in red tape until things are settled. That to me is unnacceptable.

I also see a need for you to be as responsible, and knowledgeable as he is about your finances.

I don't know how long you have been married, but no way I want my wife in your so dependent position. But if works for you, so why change it now, but you should be free to discuss any finances with him, and have full knowledge of his thoughts on all matters. You could learn a lot, and even contribute some ideas that work for you both.

There is no need to fight, or be jealous over money, and who controls it within good reason, if you talk to each other, and keep talking if you have to. Rule of thumb though, be as kind and generous as he has been. That would be fair and give him his 20 bucks back, that for sure he earned, didn't he? Be sure and take him and the family on a nice holiday! I am sure he would do at least that.

[Cat1864]

I think the red flag for me was his behavior at the casino. Is this the way he normally behaves or did his drinking have a part in it? Another red flag is his expecting you to turn over the money as though you have no say.

Do you work outside the home? Does he ask for an accounting of the way you spend your 'allowance'? If you receive money as a gift does he expect you to turn that money over or account for it?

When you ask for something, does he question the purchase or use before transferring the money or does he just ask for the receipt? Do you chose not to ask for something because you don't want to go through a hassle?

Why don't you have money in your savings account?

[Jlesnik33]

You need to put your foot down, and if he wants to hear none of it, then in my opinion its time to move on.

Does he treat you like a kid for everything? Or just when it comes to "his" money?

[Enigma1999]

This is how I see it, you won that money with your allowance. So it is yours. However, you could always give him a little.

After all, you would want some if the tables were turned, wouldn't you?

He does seem very frugal and sounds really good with money.

I don't blame him for not sharing HIS inherritace.

I made my Husband sign a prenuptial agreement before we got married. He did have a hard time with that, but oh well. I however, had to sign an agreement that if I committed adultery that he get half of my assets.

So I can understand exactly where he is coming from with almost everything.

I don't understand why he wants you to give all of the money to him. I agree with Tal, it should be split into three, his, yours, and savings.

I also think that you need to get your own job and stop being so dependent of him. What would happen if he left you?