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fredg · Apr 9, 2006, 05:32 AM

HI,
You said "everyone takes things the wrong way".
Some people do, because they hear what they want to hear, maybe not really listening to what you say.
A girl's "best friend" is someone she can talk with, anytime, about anything. Same goes for boys, too. Many think they like someone, then find out they don't; and start looking somewhere else.
The gossip that goes on between people, eventually becomes less and less, when they find someone they really care about. It will happen for you, so just give it some time.

fredg · Apr 9, 2006, 05:54 AM

Hi,
How old are you?
I am 64, married for the first time at 24, divorced after 7 yrs, then remarried now for 29 yrs.
Life is what you make it. It treats you the way you treat it. Your future depends on what you do now.
Make any sense?
Life is as wonderful and fun as you want it to be. Girls come and go as girlfriends, and one day, you will find the one that is just right for you.
I am not scared or afraid of what I say to others. I have a lot of friends, and treat them with respect, caring, love, understanding, and they treat me and my wife the same way. If they don't, then we aren't friends anymore... find new ones. You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please everyone all the time... that's a fact, and was stated by, I think, Abe Lincoln.
I don't really think that "life can be perfect"... it's what we make it. It's not what happens to me today, it's all in how I react to it. If I can do something about it, then I do it. If not, then move on to the next issue.
Learning about life takes awhile, with patience, and trying new things. Even some need "attitude adjustments", accepting new ways of doing things, before they get better.

Starman · Apr 9, 2006, 10:42 PM

... I want that perfect girl to go through all these fun, hard times with.

Loneliness can lead to depression. I understand that perfect is what seems right to you. But sometimes in life we have to compromise in order to make headway. Also, what seems right or perfect for us when young gradually changes with time. True, it's nice to have a good-looking girlfriend. But it's also nice to have one who has a good sense of humor, is patient, kind, trustworthy, and faithful. Sometimes these qualities are possessed by a girl whom you might not meet our physical preferences. At other times the ones that do are in love with themselves. In short, the full package is very rare. That's why a flexible attitude is very important. It provides us with more options.

What is the true meaning of life?

We add meaning to our lives by means of deciding and acting upon that decision. In short, we have the power to make life as interesting as boring as we choose to. A medical doctor finds meaning to life in his work. He studied and by studying created his own identity. Animals don't have that choice. For example, a lion is destined to be a lion and cannot choose to be anything else. We humans, however, do have a choice and it is that power to choose that makes us unique.

BTW

From a biblical standpoint the meaning of man's life is to do God's will.

Ecclesiastes 12

13 Now all has been heard;
Here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
For this is the whole duty of man.
NIV

Krs · Apr 10, 2006, 12:44 AM

Always give a person the benefit of the doubt BUT then again always keep your eyes wide open... don't be silly!

wrongful hurtings · Apr 18, 2006, 11:45 PM

Why is it girls hate guys who are clingy but after dating for awhile are clingy themselves? What exactly do girls really consider clingy and do some misinterrput the saying? Is it a bad thing, and how can one stop?

Also why is it everyone today is in a mood? I went to sleep for about 3 hours woke up and well everyone was mad at something or other and Im apperently an *******. Man I'm lost, and need to find my path back to the big trail.

jeffatl · Apr 19, 2006, 12:12 AM

Easy bud. Things don't always work out the way we want them to, but somehow they seem to workout in a way... Im not sure how or why they do but... whatever. I would say I agree with you on a few things. Girls want a nice, caring guy that is blah blah blah, but they don't... Im going through the SAME THING. Don't worry about people being in "a mood" it happens to the best of us. You can stop by taking a step back and calming down your emotions for a min. You sound like a young guy (high school maybe?). You are doing VERY well though man. Just take things in stride. Don't push to hard, do your own thing for a little and make YOU happy. I don't think you can misinterpret "clingy". If you feel like you need to be around someone to be truly happy, thaen BAM... your clingy. Not a bad thing, everyone goes through it at one point or another, but if you woman is telling you this and you are still together, you have a chance to make it right. Just do your own thing, be your own person, and HAVE FUN!! Be true to her, and honest with what you are doing. You don't NEED anyone, you WANT them. You will do just fine bud, just take a step back (dont be a jerk) just be busy and find things to do. Best of luck to you!

wrongful hurtings · Apr 19, 2006, 12:16 AM

Nice of advice. Thanks

wrongful hurtings · Apr 19, 2006, 12:29 AM

I guess Iam young but definitely not in high school Im 20 next month. Im not currently with this girl in fact I well long story and that's another issue. I do feel that I need someone there all the time and maybe your right I don't need them I want them. But I get so lonely by myself and I just need more people to hang out with on a regular basis. Man life sucks, but it doesn't. Hey has anyone ever thought of doing something that would totally mess up your life but do it to in the long run save others even though you might die on the way? I don't think I could do it but I do think it would be interesting it's a long story if your interested I may explain

milliec · Apr 19, 2006, 12:32 AM

Originally Posted by wrongful hurtings

Also why is it everyone today is in a mood? I went to sleep for about 3 hours woke up and well everyone was mad at something or other and Im apperently an *******. Man I'm lost, and need to find my path back to the big trail.

Hello there!
Haven't read everything yet, and people are maybe moody. But MAD at something?
Well, I dddo have to take a closer loo!
Bye noe, and stay well,
Millie:)

milliec · Apr 19, 2006, 12:33 AM

Originally Posted by wrongful hurtings

I don't think I could do it but I do think it would be interesting its a long story if your interested I may explain

Please do!
Millie

fredg · Apr 19, 2006, 05:32 AM

Hi, Wrongful,
From your comments, you are 20 yrs old. Are you going to College? Have a job? What do you do all day long?
It's hard to give some suggestions without knowing any kind of daily routine. The best I can say without that information is to meet new people. Getting in a rut can happen, and only YOU can get yourself out of it.
Life is really "just one day at a time", making things happen. Take control, meet some new people, and start enjoying life, instead of letting it take control of you. I do wish you the best.

wrongful hurtings · Apr 19, 2006, 07:01 PM

I work everyday. I guess you could say I started my career I have a good job and its secure and I make more then enough money I work from 7:30 to 4:30 mon-fri and well I love the work environment. I don't go to college one day might but not for years. So bascially all day I work sleep eat and whatever else happens.

wrongful hurtings · Apr 23, 2006, 09:03 PM

I just got out of a serious relationship with my ex girfriend after over 3 years and now well I just need someone to hang out with like someone to care about or someone to be by myside for moral support. I need someone a friend to do something with. I feel empty is it because Im lonely and what would or could I do to solve this and get that empty feeling filled, any ideas. Its been nice lately I have been hanging out with this girl lately she's perfect someone I can hang out with someone I can talk to and someone who's going to be there for me the only problem is she's moving and she's engaged well she might be breaking the engagement off but she's still moving she likes me and I like her but nothing will happen I wish I could just find someone I could be good friends with someone who I can talk to and hang out with... Man Im lonely any ideas?

jeffatl · Apr 23, 2006, 09:45 PM

Easy man, It NATURAL. You were in a pretty long relationship, so its natural for you to feel like things are not right every now and then. Do you not have any friends you can hang out with? If not, then go out and meet some people. Maybe from work or something. Ive been single now for about 7 months and I get lonely now and then, but that's OK. You need to be conforitable alone BEFORE you get together with someone. Are you not the same person that posted the "clingy" thread? If so, this should be an eye opener. Im not trying to put you down or anything, just trying to help you see some things. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE THAT IS ENGAGED!! She is not going to leave him for you, and if she does, will you really trust her not to do the same thing to you? Sounds like you LOVE attention from women, heck we all do. You need to calm yourself down a bit. How long have you been out of your relationship? I bet not long enough. It took me about 3 months or so to get comforitble with myself, but I did it, so can you. Also, from my experience, you never find someone when you look. Take it easy and just meet some new people, network. If not, you will be right back where you are now in no time.

wrongful hurtings · Apr 23, 2006, 09:56 PM

I have friends but they were the same ones that my ex girlfriend had so they hang out with her and well you get the picture. About the whole trust thing if she did break up with her fiancé, the answer is yes and I have a logical reason for saying that answer. Here is my explanation, I used to believe that once a cheater always a cheater, until I realized that if I believed that then I would also have to believe that people couldn't change. Well people can change its hard and you have to want to, but it can be done. So with the whole trust thing if something did ever happen I would trust her, because I believe that she doesn't really love this guy because if she did she would never want to lose him or do anything that could possibly lose him. In other words I believe if someone loved someone so much no matter what of there history they wouldn't cheat. And well yea I would trust her I would have no reason not to. Right after she cheated she told him the next time she saw him. So I give her credit for that its not like she tried to hide it from him. I really respect that and because of the quality I could trust her because if something happened she would tell me the next time she saw me so yea.

fredg · Apr 24, 2006, 05:07 AM

HI,
Be thankful you are having issues with adjusting from losing a girlfriend; not a Divorce!
Calm down some, date other girls. Dating someone who is engaged is only adding more confusion. Meet some new girls.
After my first 7 yrs of marriage ended in Divorce, it took about a year to be ready for some "serious" dating again.
Give yourself some time, maybe a few months. Many of us like living with, or having someone. If it doesn't work out, then find someone else.
Best wishes.

DJ 'H' · Apr 24, 2006, 06:33 AM

Perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Just got to keep your chin up, stay busy and give yourself some time to get over your ex.

Soon you will find yourself again and find doing things on your own as an individual is not so bad. Once you are content with yourself and your life a special girl will come knocking when you least expect it.

At the moment you are just rebounding - give yourself some time, concetrate on keeping busy (your fav hobby etc) and things will get better.

talaniman · Apr 24, 2006, 10:20 AM

I can't add a lot to the very good advice already given except to be patient and have fun!:cool: :)

phillysteakandcheese · Apr 24, 2006, 11:40 AM

Get a dog. ;)

Really. The unconditional love of a pet, and the time and effort required to take care of "another living creature" does a lot for a person. It helps with healing your soul, and filling the void of "need".

I guess it doesn't have to be a dog. A cat or bird or even fish can help you do the same thing.

For a single guy though, I think a dog is best because walking your dog in the park is an awesome way to meet women!

Chery · Apr 26, 2006, 06:36 AM

Staying at home, feeling lonely and lost will only lead to depression. Go out and meet new people, find a new club or social gathering and start new.

A pet is not a bad idea, but if you travel, make sure the neighbor that takes care of it is of the opposite sex and a likely candidate, it might get to be more than that of a pet-sitter. Most single people who watch you pets will get to learn about you and how you keep you 'home' while taking care of them, and just might surprise you with a warm welcome.

Good luck,and keep us posted.