Check out some similar questions!

nvenzor24 · Oct 28, 2010, 09:12 AM

Hello, this is my situation, going to try to keep it short and simple.
A year ago some friends of my boyfriend took pictures of me kissing another guy at the club, this was the first time I've ever been to a club, and well I was pretty drunk. These pictures were showed to my boyfriend the next day on our 4th year anniversary. Well of course he broke up with me and both were pretty devastated.

I kept trying to get back with him for about months, doing everything and anything to prove to him that I loved him and that I was truly sorry for what happened that night.(no, I did not ****the guy and did not sleep with him). During this time he would kind of try to get back with me but still not completely, he started talking to some other girls and even told me a couple of times that he was done with me and that he could not see me the same way he use to. Even though my heart was broken, I still accepted his decision and wished him the best. Hes a great guy and deserves a good girl for sure!

This yes-no dilemma went on for this ten months, until one day he calls me up and tell me that he wants to get back with me, I immediately accepted with joy in my heart. A couple of days later, he tells me that he doubts again and that he needs time. That's the moment I decide to just move on and forget about him. I felt that he was just playing games and he was just coming back because he didn't find anyone else out there.

Two weeks passed, and I went up to my sisters house to visit, there I met this guy. I didn't check him out, because to be honest I wasn't looking for anything with anyone. This guy asked for my number but I wasn't sure if I wanted to start talking to him. I saw him a couple more times at my sister's house and well he is very handsome and has a good character. We started talking on the phone and texting, mean while my ex started calling me and asking me for a chance, I told him that I was very hurt and that I couldn't do it right now. I did not want to tell him that I started talking to this other guy because for some reason I felt bad.

I eventually told him and he said that it was wrong for me to hide it from him and that he was not going to let himself get with me anymore. I keeped talking to this other guy and things are great, but my ex came back and wants to get back with me. We had a good relationship, and I know he will be faithful to me. But I'm so tempted to start something new with this other guy. I get along with him great, I'm just scared that he won't be what it seems right now later on in the relationship. He already asked me to be his girlfriend, but I told him that I needed time. I just don't want to mess up, I don't want to be like many cases, should have stayed with your ex, better safe than sorry. Do I love my ex, I do, but I don't feel as passionate about him like I use to. Do I care about this other guy, I do, but I don't know him that well. I just don't want to make a mistake. Any suggestions, comments or advice are welcome!
Thanks,
Monica

EDITED/T

Justwantfair · Oct 28, 2010, 09:58 AM

I don't think you need either man in your life. You need more time to spend with yourself.

Confusion simply means you aren't ready for any relationship. Sort out your feelings, if you are done with your ex, let him go and stop contacting him or returning contact with him.

You aren't being fair to either of these two individuals. Spend some time knowing yourself single and leave them both alone.

talaniman · Oct 28, 2010, 10:35 AM

You are not ready for a relationship as long as you allow your ex to wander back, and forth in, and out of your life. Once you stop that from happening by cutting all contact with him, over time you can see beyond the past confusion, and into the future.

He has done this several times to you already, so why are you allowing it?

answerme_tender · Oct 28, 2010, 12:51 PM

Same question as Tal---why are you allowing the ex-boyfriend to do this all the time.

I wish · Oct 28, 2010, 12:57 PM

Until you're sure of what you want, pick neither. It's not fair to anyone, you, your ex or the new guy.

In other words, be single. Recover from the break up. Keep meeting new people. Until all the emotional dust and confusion has gone away, you're not necessarily in the right mindframe to be in another relationship.

You don't need to be in a relationship just for the heck of being in one. Sort out your feelings and emotions first. Get back on your feet before you start walking.