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HOTTINKABELL · Oct 25, 2010, 10:18 AM

Why is my byfriend of 2 years, just know starting to talk about me being with another women? He always talks about it when were having sex.. does he want another women??

Cat1864 · Oct 25, 2010, 10:31 AM

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How old are you?

smoothy · Oct 25, 2010, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

Please do not use all caps. It is against site rules and can result in your post being deleted.
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How old are you?

I second that...

HOTTINKABELL · Oct 26, 2010, 04:15 AM

I am 29 years old. I have 2 kids that he has been a great father figure for as well?? But to my surprise last night he actually talked to me about this and he asked me to have a 3 some with a really random sexy girl. He suggested we go out and find a girl that we could bring in the bedrooom as well as hang out with, but only together..? I am soooooo confused. If you only understood my boyfriend. He is so so funny over me, likw what I wear, guys looking at mw, me having friends, and this is like way out there for him to actually want. Not only does he want us to have another women, he wants this girl to come to our house. Where my kids live?? Who cares if there not home, this is our home?? Please help me I am so confused.

Synnen · Oct 26, 2010, 05:24 AM

You aren't comfortable with it.

Tell him NO. MEAN it when you say no.

Doing this will DESTROY your relationship. Tell him straight out that you are enough woman for him, and that he can just forget that little fantasy.

If he won't drop it after you FIRMLY tell him this (don't get all wishy-washy, girl!), then tell him that you'd like to go out and get a sexy GUY to share, and bring home and hang out with, and see what he says.

smoothy · Oct 26, 2010, 06:03 AM

Yeah, real difficult area with so much that can go wrong...

True, I've had threesomes with two different girlfriends in my youth... but those were prompted by them... and there was a relationship that pre-existed our having met... in my case things later went sour over unrelated issues.

But as Synnen said... unless its something YOU really want to do... forget it, just say no... and he has to respect your decision. YOU don't want to do it to please him unless its something you 300% wanted to do yourself. Otherwise you will develop a resentment if you are the slightest bit unhappy if you did it.

Synnen · Oct 26, 2010, 07:56 AM

And just to be clear: I am usually the person saying that threesomes are not the evil that people make them out to be.

HOWEVER--if BOTH partners are not completely and totally into the idea, it's only a recipe for disaster.

Do not do this. And TELL him, straight out, that you do not want to do this, and that you want him to shut up about the idea because it makes you uncomfortable.

HOTTINKABELL · Oct 26, 2010, 11:49 AM

Thanks, for all the answers you guys gave. They helped a lot, just not my heart. I still just don't understand why, why does he want this?? Anybody have any idea why he woud be interested in this know.

I would lik eto add since this morning I asked him since he was comftorable with me and him having a relationship with another girl, could I have a relationship in the same way with another guy. I suggested having a couple instead of a girl. To my surprise he was perfectly fine with that as well... So I'm left here not having any idea what in the world to think. Has my man lost his mind?? Or does he have someone in mind or just want some strange girl so bad he would agree to me as well having sex with some dude??

I am sooooooo confused right know:(

smoothy · Oct 26, 2010, 12:10 PM

Lets just say... its a guy thing. MOST of us have wanted to have a threesome... far fewer actually have.

It really doesn't mean he is unhappy with you specifically... not at face value. If he was there are many other indicators you would have to consider.

There is an appeal to the new and unknown... women have it but not to the degree a guy does.

Clearly its not anything you wish to entertain, so please don't. It would only bother you far more if you ever did it.

Cat1864 · Oct 26, 2010, 12:23 PM

Only he can give you the reasons he is thinking about it. In general terms, he could have always had this thought but is just now confident enough in the relationship to bring it up. It could be an experience he has had in the past and wants to repeat. It may have been triggered by a discussion with friends or watching a video.

It can take some people years (if ever) before they open up about some of what turns them on especially if they feel it isn't part of the persona they want to portray. You have said that it surprised and confused you because it seemed very different from the man you have come to know.

Talk to him. Explain why you think it wouldn't be a good idea and that it isn't something you are comfortable with. If you are okay with the idea, try seeing if keeping it as a fantasy would be an acceptable compromise.